Tom and the 65 Roses
by somenerdygirl
Summary: You had always known that one day you would be in the position you're in, you just never thought you would be engaged to the love of your life. Tom Hiddleston. How will the two of you deal with what's to come? A story of love and living with a chronic illness called Cystic Fibrosis.
1. Chapter 1

You and Tom had been dating for almost two years now. You met on the set of a movie where you were there to interview some of the crew about what it was like to shoot a film in your hometown. You bumped into each other on set and hit it off instantly. After only spending a few weeks together he had asked that you move back to London with him once shooting was over. You wanted to scream yes, but you couldn't even think about it. You had to tell him that you had Cystic Fibrosis and had to stay here because of the care you needed from your doctors.

You didn't tell many people about your CF, only those who absolutely needed to know. But you just felt so safe with, Tom.

Instead of running away, like your last relationship, he said he would move to the states. You tried to explain the seriousness of your condition and how you didn't want to put him through that, but he insisted. A month later he moved in with you. He kept his flat in London as a vacation spot. Your two year anniversary was in a month and that's where you planned on spending it. You were starting to feel ill, so you decided it might be a good idea to go into the hospital for a 'tune-up' so that you could feel well for your ten days of vacation in London.

Your need for hospital stays were beginning to get more frequent. It was starting to worry you, but it was worrying Tom more. You tried your best to act fine so as not to worry him more, but that was becoming increasingly difficult to do.

**TOM**

You sat on the couch in the den, reading a book. Shakespeare of course. Waiting to hear Jane get up so you could start cooking dinner. This afternoon she was falling asleep writing her article for the Newspaper. You had encouraged her to finish up this evening and to go take a nap. She was stubborn at first, but her lids drooped while she was arguing and she eventually gave in. Grumbling as she mozied down the hall into the bedroom. She was looking rather rough these past few days, exhausted, pale, and it seemed as though she got thinner by the day. She has always been a tiny little thing. Barely 5ft and only 95 pounds, but it seemed as though she was almost disappearing each day. You hoped she would make the decision to go into the hospital soon so that she would be better for London. The last thing you wanted was her sick and in a strange hospital in London for your two year anniversary. You hated seeing her this way, and as it becomes more frequent, you can't help but worry. Wishing that there was something you could do. You heard the bedroom door open and her little feet stumble down the hall. You set down your book, looking at her as she rounds the corner. She gives you a weak smile, sleep still heavy in her eyes. She makes her way to the couch sitting down next to you and lying her head on your shoulder. You give her a kiss on top of her head. "Feeling better, love?" She gives a sigh and shakes her head. Her voice quiet. "Not really. I think I should call Dr. S and set up an admission for next week. I don't want to spend our vacation in bed." You give a whine. "Aaww but I do!" She smacks the top of your knee. Despite her tiny hands, it really stung. "I knew you were going to say that!" She giggled, which turned into a coughing fit. She leaned forward, her body spasming with violent coughs. You rub her back gently. You hated when she had a coughing fit. You always felt so helpless, and always a hint of panic that she may not catch her breath. Once she's done, she leans back taking deep breaths. You squeeze her in tight. "Ok now? I agree with your decision, I want you to feel well." She just sits against you quiet. She always got upset after deciding to go into the hospital. Thankfully you've been able to figure out a way to make her feel better. "Jane, why don't you go and take a nice hot shower and relax some. I'll go and cook supper." She doesn't say anything, just looks up to give you a kiss before leaving the couch, making her way to the shower. Once you hear the water run you go into the kitchen to get started on cooking her a meal.

**JANE**

Tom always knew what would make you feel better. You start to feel better as soon as the hot water rains down on you. You just stand there, not even really thinking, just enjoying the feeling of your muscles relax. Your muscles get so tense from the spasms from coughing. You suddenly realize the water turning cold, how long have been in there? You turn off the water and hop out. You wrap a towel around yourself, but not before catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You let out a gasp and the towel drops to the floor. You've never seen yourself so thin. You pull out the scale from under the sink and step on. 84 pounds. You sink to the floor, crying.

You've never hit that low. You have lost 11 pounds in a little over two weeks. How was that even possible? You've been eating high calorie and high fat. Tom always makes sure he makes you calorie rich foods. What do you do? Can I really wait to go into the hospital next week? Or will I lose another 5 pounds? You hear a knock on the door.

"Darling? Are you ok?"

You wipe the tears from your eyes and try to make your voice sound even.

"Yes. I'll be right out."

"Alright, I hope you're hungry!" And he walks back down the hall.

You know you need to tell him. You need to call Dr. S tomorrow and figure out what he wants you to do about this. You take another minute to pull yourself together and then get dressed. You run a brush through your hair and put on a pair of sweatpants and a Avengers sweatshirt that belonged to Tom. You're swallowed in it. You make your way down the hall to the smell of bacon and the sound of Tom singing 'Bear Necessities'.


	2. Chapter 2

**TOM**

You hear Jane come into the kitchen, she pulls out a stool and sits down at the counter. You turn to her with a grin, holding a plate of one of her favorites. Pancakes topped with peanut butter and bananas and a side of bacon. She is looking down at her lap, something was wrong. You walk to the stool beside her and sit down, setting her plate in front of her. That seemed to snap her out of whatever trance she was in, and she turns to you with a weak smile.

"Mmmm my favorite. Thank you, Tom." She grabs the bottle of syrup and pours some on her pancakes. You lay a hand on her back, and she turns to you. Tears in her eyes. You wrap your arms around her, pulling her into your chest.

"Darling? What's the matter?"

She sniffles into your shirt. She was shaking, whatever was the matter, it was bad. Each second that passed without her saying something made you more and more worried. You pull her away, looking into her eyes. "Tell me." She took a deep breath before she spoke. "Something is wrong, Tom. I've lost weight...alot." You feel your stomach drop. She couldn't afford to lose anything. "How much?" Tears rolling down her face, she whispers. "I weigh 84 pounds." It felt like you were just punched in the gut. How did that happen? Were you not cooking her the right meals? You were always careful to cook her extra fatty meals. Especially recently. You pull her back into your arms, stroking the back of her hair, trying to calm her down. You sit like that for awhile, once she's calm, she is the first one that speaks.

"I have to call Dr. S tomorrow to find out what to do. I may have to go in sooner than I'd like." You nod, and look to her plate of dinner that was now cold.

"I think that's a good idea. Well, dinner is cold, so how about we order in?" She agrees and you tell her to go and rest while you cleaned up and called to place an order. She looked positively drained. You notice she was asleep on the couch, but the knock of the delivery man at the door woke her up. You bring her supper and put in a movie. Not long after, she falls asleep in your arms. You turn off the movie and carry her to bed, shocked at how light she feels. She doesn't even stir once you lie her down. You go change and crawl into bed next to her, pulling her in close. Realizing she could be admitted tomorrow afternoon, you enjoy your possible last night together for the next two weeks. Falling asleep with her cradled gently in your arms.

**JANE**

You wake up in bed, Tom must have brought you in here last night. You lay there a moment before rolling out of bed. You shuffle down the hall, feeling a chill despite your layers. You see a note on the counter from, Tom.

_"Good morning love,_

_In case you wake before I return, I've gone for my morning run. I've started the wash with some of your favorite hospital pajamas and sweats in case Dr. S wishes for you to come in today. I will make breakfast when I get back._

_Lot's of love,_

_Tom."_

You smile at the note, wondering how you got so lucky. You realize you might as well just call Dr. S and get it over with. You dial his number while preparing your morning nebulizer.

"Hello this is Trish, Dr. Smolders nurse, how can I help you?"

"Hi Trish, it's Jane. If Dr. S isn't busy, I kind of need to speak with him. It's somewhat urgent." "Hold please."

You loved Trish, she would move mountains to make sure you got what you needed. Only a moment passed before Dr. S was on the phone.

"Hello this is Dr. Smolders."

"Hey Dr. S, it's Jane."

Tom walks in, sees you're on the phone, and gives you a kiss on the cheek before getting in the shower.

"Jane! How can I help you, dear?"

Dr. S was hands down the nicest Dr. you've ever met. You trusted him most out of the rest of your Dr.'s.

"Well, uuumm.. I haven't been feeling well, and was going to call next week to setup an admission because Tom and I are going to London in a few weeks and I wanted to feel better for that. However, I've experienced some pretty serious weight loss. I'm down about 11 pounds...So I'm calling to see if I should come in sooner than next week?"

There's a moment of silence on the phone.

"Jane, can you get here this afternoon?"

You knew it..

"Yes I can be there shortly."

"I'm going to have a room ready for you by two o'clock. I will see you soon."

"Thank you, see you later."

You sat in the kitchen, determined not to cry. You grab your neb and head over to your chair where you nubulizer machine was and get started on your morning routine. You finish with your nebs and inhalers right as Tom was out of the shower. He was already walking in with a load of laundry to fold. A worried look came across his face. "What did the Dr. say?" You walk over and start helping him fold. "He will have a bed ready by two. That was all he said." He just nods as he picks up a pair of sweatpants to fold. "Well, I'll make us some breakfast and then I'll help you to pack." You stay in the den and fold and he goes to the kitchen to cook a big breakfast. You could see he was upset and scared. The fact Dr. S wanted you there this afternoon wasn't good. You walk up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry, Tom." You hadn't realized but you were crying, and it was clear in your voice. He spins around and looks at you with a serious look in his eyes. "Jane. Do not apologize to me. I am not the one who needs comfort. I do not like to watch you suffer, but you do not need to apologize. I love you and I will be with you the whole way." You can't help but tell him what you're feeling. You have to let him go.

"Tom, this is only the beginning... I'm going to get worse. I don't know when, but eventually I'm not going to lose my independence, I'm going to be on oxygen 24/7, I'm going to need a wheelchair, I'm going to need surgeries, one of them a double lung transplant. I can't ask you to go through all of that for me. It's not fair." You were sobbing now. Tom looked at you, it almost looked like he was hurt. Pain was evident on his face. "Jane... You are the love of my life. I can't bare the thought of leaving you, let alone leaving you when you are struggling. I'm going to be with you every step of the way darling." And then he slid down onto one knee. You felt like you were going to faint.

"I was going to propose in London, but I can't wait anymore. I have to let you know you'll never be alone. I want to be here for all of the good times, all of the bad times, all the accomplishments and all the losses, I want to pick you up when you're down, I want to hold your hand when you need it, and I want you to hold mine back. I want you for the rest of my life, Jane. So long as you'll have me."

You just stared at him for awhile, a large nervous smile on his face. You couldn't believe it. After a moment of staring in shock, you fling yourself forward, wrapping your arms around his neck and sob into his shoulder. He hugs you tight, your feet lift from the floor once he stands. "I'll take that as a yes?" he says into your hair. You nod, tears still falling. "Yes! Yes!" He sets you down, placing a hand on your cheek, leaning down to kiss you. You kiss him back. Harder. He sweeps you off your feet and heads into the bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3

**TOM**

You had arrived at the hospital about an hour ago. She was doing her normal hospital admittance routine, while you unpacked. You had grown to know how she likes her hospital room setup. Her port had already accessed, she answered all the usual questions from the nurse, and now she was downstairs for PFT (Pulmonary Function Test) and chest X-Ray. You wanted to go with her, but she urged you to stay put and finish unpacking. You weren't allowed in the X-Ray room and PFT's only took a few minutes, it was kind of silly to tag along, but you hated leaving her to do those things alone.

You've just finished packing when Dr. S walks in. Your nervs start creeping up again, wondering what he will say of your fiance's condition.

He walks towards you with an extended hand. "Hi Tom, she still downstairs?"

You shake his hand. "Yes, she left a few minutes ago. Sorry."

He just stands there quiet, it seemed as though he was considering things. What, you didn't know. It seemed like an eternity until he spoke again.

"Tom, you know I'm not supposed to share things without the patient present, unless they are family. But I feel I should give you warning, and I also may need your help. Ok?"

You feel nauseous. "I understand. Oh, and we are engaged. If that makes it any better in terms of you sharing."

A huge smile comes across the Dr.'s face. He leans to give you quick hug, and you return the gesture.

"Congratulations! Technically I still shouldn't be telling you, but it makes me feel better. Ok.. I'm sorry to say this, but I believe it is time that Jane get's a feeding tube. As soon as possible. It is critical that she get's it as soon as possible. She cannot afford to keep losing weight at the rate she is. Now, you and I both know how stubborn she can sometimes be. What I need your help with is not only convincing her on getting the surgery, but getting the surgery next week. Unfortunately this would mean you would miss your vacation in London."

It feels as though you've been kicked in the gut. You're trying desperately to comprehend what he's just told you, but it all just hangs there. It's as if you didn't hear it. Was he truly talking about your, Jane? Is it possible he was thinking of another patient? How could your fiance be in such a dire situation as to need a feeding tube? You'd always known this to be a possibility. Many CF patients had them, but Jane? All you manage to do is nod before Jane is back from her testing. She makes her way to the bed, looking exhausted. You urged her to take the wheelchair, but she refused. You understood why Dr. S needed your help.

She looks up at you both, a nervous expression graced her face.

"Hi Dr. S, what did I miss?"

Dr. S moves around you to stand at the foot of the bed. You go and sit in the chair beside her bed.

"Oh nothing. Tom was just telling me of the engagement. Congratulations!"

She blushes and grins, looking for her ring but you have it in your pocket. She couldn't wear jewelry in X-Ray. You take it out and hand it back. "Sorry, love."

She places it back on her finger with a grin.

"Thank you. So, what's the plan for this stay?"

You and Dr. S shoot each other a look, and he goes on to tell her.

"Well, I have a feeling you are not going to like my plan. But I want you and Tom to keep an open mind and think about the future."

She grabs your hand and squeezes tight. You squeeze back and glance at her. She took a deep breath. She knew what was coming.

"Jane, I think it is time for a feeding tube. And as soon as possible. Now, I haven't seen your PFT's yet, but providing they aren't horrible, I would like to schedule surgery for next week."

She closes her eyes and gives your hand another squeeze.

"London would need to be rescheduled?"

Dr. S simply nods before adding. "I'm sorry, dear. But your weight is too dangerous. You cannot afford to lose another pound. It would not be safe for you to go on vacation at the weight you are at now. Let alone another country."

Tears begin to fall. Your heart breaks as you go to hug her tightly. You hated to see her have to make these decisions. It wasn't fair.

She takes a deep breath, gaining control of her tears before pushing away from the hug.

"My PFT's were 60%. If the surgery is what needs to happen now, then schedule it for when you'd like. London will still be there when I'm well."

Dr. S does not disguise his surprise well. He doesn't know what to do, he had gone in prepared for battle.

"I will schedule for next Wednesday. Until then we will do your lung therapy, antibiotics, and high calorie shakes twice a day. I'm so sorry."

And with that he turns to leave.

You had been fighting back tears this whole time. She was so brave. It never ceased to amaze you. You don't know that you'd be able to make that kind of decision. Not because of a vacation rescheduling conflict, but the decision in general. It was a surgery. It was another foreign object being placed in her body. How she did it, you'll never know. You were so grateful to call this woman your fiance.

She doesn't say anything, just laying down and pulling the blankets up to her chest. You stand to go and shut the door and turn off the big bright overhead light. You crawl into bed next to her, over the covers. She turns to lay her head on your chest. She mumbles. "I love you" You kiss the top of her head and whisper. "I love you too." After that, you both drift off to the sound of beeping monitors and IV pups whirring.

**JANE**

It was the morning of surgery.

You're in the bathroom changing into one of those horrendous hospital gowns, trying to find a way to keep it from sliding off your non existent form. Tom was in his chair by your bed, nervously chatting away with the nurse while she setup your pump for fluids. He arrived extra early today so he could be there before they took you to pre-op. He tried to stay the night with you, but you insisted he go home and get a good nights rest. The cots were terribly uncomfortable and he wasn't used to nurses coming and going throughout the night like you were. Besides, he was going to be staying for a few days after surgery until he was comfortable leaving you overnight again. He had moved all interviews and meetings until further notice. He was a nervous wreck. He had never been through someone he loved having surgery before. You had tried everything to get him to relax, but nothing worked.

You hoped the meeting with the surgeon the day before might help him feel better, but as the surgeon explained in detail what would be happening during surgery, Toms eyes only grew wider, his face only paler. It made him feel worse knowing exactly how the surgeon would cause you harm. Asleep or not. You would be in pain when you woke up, and that's all Tom could think about. And the risks, no matter how rare, had all but thrown him into a tizzy. It took forever to calm him down yesterday. He seemed better today, but still freaking out none the less.

You have one last idea to hopefully at least make him smile. You had managed to get the gown to stay on somewhat comfortably. You open the door and immediately strike a pose.

"Am I runway ready yet?"

Success! He gives you a chuckle, and so does your nurse. You walk over to the bed, elated that you made him feel more at ease, even if just for a moment. As soon as your nurse hooks you up, a man with a gurney shows up to take you to pre-op.

You thank the nurse and Tom helps you to the bed, pushing your IV pole for you while you concentrated on not tripping on your gown.

Tom keeps pace with the side of the bed. Holding your hand the whole way. While your hand was cold and dry from this hospital air, his was hot and clammy. Still nervous. Once in your little corner, the man leaves pulling the curtain behind him. Tom sits down, and begins tapping his toes. A nervous habit of his. He did it alot before auditions or walking the carpets. You reach over to grab his hand, he looks at you with a face you've never seen. He was panicking.

"Tom, I need you to calm down, ok? Everything is going to be fine. I've had lots of surgeries and they've all gone without a problem. I'm not going to feel well, but that will pass. I'm going to need you these next couple of days, but not if you worry yourself into a state. Please, try to relax."

You hated putting that kind of pressure on him, but unless he knew he would be doing it for your benefit, it would be a waste of breath.

He takes a deep breath, some ease comes across his face.

"Ok. I'm sorry, love. I've just never been through something like this before. Which sounds silly because I'm not the one having the surgery, but it's just scary to me. I will try my best to keep calm, and I will be here to hold your hand the whole way."

You feel a slight wave of relief, he already seemed more calm. The anesthesiologist who introduced himself as Martin, comes in minutes later to explain how he will be keeping you asleep and says he will return in a few minutes to take you back to the OR.

Once Martin leaves, Tom stands to sit at the edge of your bed, pulling you into his chest. You start to feel a bit anxious about not having him with you. He leans down to kiss you, it's gentle, but somewhat desperate.

You both pull away after a moment, realizing now was not the time or place to get in the mood. You both sit and smile at each other for a short while. He runs his fingers through your hair. When he speaks, he speaks soft. "I will be right here when you awake. I love you."

You sigh, trying to hide the fact you're starting to really get nervous. "I love you, too."

Martin appears again, pushing back the curtain all the way.

"Are you ready?"

You nod and Tom leans down to give you a quick kiss on the cheek. He followed you until he reached the nurses station where they could direct him towards the waiting room. He gives your hand one last squeeze before you wheel past him. You look back and he's still watching you. In one last ditch effort to lift his spirits, you give him the princess wave. You see a smile before you push through a set of large heavy doors.

You're wheeled down a long and chilly hallway, turning into the last room on the left.

Martin wheels you up to the surgical table which you scoot your way onto and then lay down, placing your head on a little foam ring.

The nurses begin hooking you up to the monitors and Martin leans down to tell you something. "I'm going to give you some medicine to help make you sleepy now, ok?" You nod. A shiver runs through you. It was always so cold in the procedure rooms. A nurse notices and pulls a blanket up to your hips. You shoot her a smile and a "Thank you."

Then your eyelids begin to droop. Your head starts spinning. The familiar oxygen mask covers your face, and before anyone tells you to, you start counting down.

"Five...f-four...thr"

And then it was dark.

They always tell you to dream of something nice during surgery.

You dream of the fun you and Tom would have had in London.

It was the best dream you've had during any surgery.


	4. Chapter 4

**TOM**

You managed to get a short nap in while you waited for Jane to get out of surgery. It was the last thing you wanted to do, but you did as you were told. It's only been a little over an hour, and the surgeon said it should only take an hour at most.

Not sure what to do, you began pacing. You decide that instead of irritating the others in the waiting room you would walk down the hall to the vending machine. Your phone began to buzz while you were pushing the buttons for a bag of chips. It was Chris.

"Hello?"

His thick Aussie accent sounded thicker through the phone.

'Tom mate, hi. I'm calling to see how your girls doing? Surgery done yet?"

You were so grateful that you and Chris has formed such a close friendship during filming for Thor.

"No not yet. I'm hoping to hear some news soon."

"It will turn out fine, Tom. How are you doing with all this?"

Just before you could answer, there was a tap on your shoulder. It was the surgeon. "Chris, I'm sorry but the surgeon is here. I will talk to you soon."

You don't even wait for him to respond before you hand up and put the phone in your pocket.

"Well, she did ok. I'm sorry it took longer than I had originally told you, but it was a little harder place then I had anticipated. Her tiny frame posed a issue with that, but overall the surgery went fine. She is in recovery now, the nurse should call you back in a few minutes. She's going to be in quite bit of pain for awhile, I already have her set up with a PCA pump."

You feel a wave of relief. You let out a deep breath.

"Thank you so much for taking care of my, Jane."

He gives you a smile.

"Not a problem. Now, once she adjusts to that tube we will have to do another procedure to place in the g-tube that she will use all the time. It should be in about a month or so."

You nod and then a nurse is coming up.

"Mr. Hiddleston? She is asking for you."

You quickly shake the surgeons hand and then rush over to the nurse that would take you to your fiance.

You enter a hallway of rooms, there aren't doors to these rooms, only curtains. As you walk you hear various beeps coming from pumps and machines. You follow the nurse around another corner and she pulls back the first curtain on the right.

She is laying flat on her back covered in many blankets. You see the discomfort in her face. There is another nurse who is sitting at a small computer by her bed, the nurse who took you here leaves, pulling the curtain closed behind her. You just stand frozen looking at her a moment before stepping forward to the side of her bed. Taking her little hand gently in yours, stroking her hair with the other. A light moan leaves her lips. "Tom?" Her voice is hoarse and small and her eyes never open.

"I'm here, love. I'm right here."

A hint of a smile crosses her face, and she drifts back asleep.

"She is doing alright so far. She has a chill, but no fever. It's just side effects from the anesthesia. We should be able to move her back to her room on the floor soon."

You nod, eager to get her back where you're both more comfortable. "Thank you."

You sit on the edge of the bed and just hold her hand and stare. The nurse keeps waking her every few minutes and each time Jane seems a little more alert.

Once she is more coherent the nurse starts asking her a few questions.

"Jane, can you tell me your pain on a scale of one to ten?"

She manages to open her eyes surveying the room but stops when she get's to you. "A s-s-seven I think."

The nurse nods and pushes a few buttons on one of the pumps. "Ok, I gave you a little more morphine. How about those chills?"

Almost as if on cue, she shivers slightly. "Still cold." Her eyes fall again and her face seems less tense. The morphine kicked in. The nurse leaves to get another blanket, leaving just you two.

"Tom, are you ok? H-have you eaten or slept?"

You chuckle and shake your head. She always worried about others first. "Yes dear, I had a short nap and got chips from the vending machine. Now don't worry about me and rest."

She nods weakly and is back asleep. The nurse brings in another blanket and you help cover her up.

"We will be ready to move her in a few minutes. Just need clearance from the surgeon."

You nod.

After the surgeon comes to double check on her vital signs and the newly placed feeding tube, he gives the ok to take her upstairs to her room."

She doesn't wake until we are up in her room and have to transfer her to her usual bed. The nurses wake her and ask her to try and scoot, she winces and takes it slow, but never sheds a tear. Once settled back in, the kind staff who brought you upstairs leave with the gurney and your nurse begins hooking you up to some monitors and giving you a little more morphine for the added pain from moving.

Once she leaves, you sit in your chair, pulling it extra close. You hold her hand and lay your head back. You shoot Chris a quick text telling him she is ok, and then you finally rest.

**JANE**

You aren't aware of much around you.

You know you are in pain.

You know you are attached to lot's of tubes and wires.

But you're most aware of Tom holding your hand.

You want to open your eyes and see what's going on around you. Ask questions. Your lids are just too heavy.

Normally, this would terrify you.

But with Tom there you feel safe.

Content to just rest.


	5. Chapter 5

**TOM**

It's been a week since surgery. Two weeks in the hospital total.

It's been pretty rough since her surgery last Wednesday. She's been in alot of pain and had to stay on the morphine pump longer than they had anticipated. When they tried to ween her off the pump, on day two, the pain was unbearable, rendering her immobile and in tears. It was the hardest thing you've ever had to watch. They decided to keep her on the morphine for at least two more days before trying again.

So for five days she was completely out of it, and spent almost all of her time sleeping. Waking only when she was asked to answer questions or do her breathing treatments. Another side effect was nausea and loss of appetite. They were able to get the nausea under pretty good control, but her appetite when she was awake was almost non existent. The nurses and I couldn't get her to eat for anything.

This then resulted in her losing about three more pounds. To which Dr. S insisted she have an NG-tube placed until they could either use her g-tube, or she could eat. It was an unpleasant experience, as you would expect having a tube go through your nose to your stomach would be.

She was a champ though. She always is.

On day five they managed to get her off of the IV morphine and began to manage her pain with oral medication. It still made her tired and a little out of it sometimes, but she did much better.

On day six we began physical therapy. She had been bedridden for six days so it was time to start rebuilding her strength. The first day was exhausting for her, but she did surprisingly well. She managed to walk halfway across the room and back with some assistance from the therapist and I.

She hadn't once urged me to go home. Even in her sometimes confused states. This told me she really was having a rough go of things.

She was napping after this afternoons therapy session, she managed a few more steps then yesterday. Yesterday she managed a few bites of jell-o, so today Ben had decided to stop by with soup from her favorite restaurant, and a pizza for he and I to share.

He was in town promoting a new film of his. Your friends and family have been so supportive. Your sisters have called a few times to check in and Chris and Ben had texted almost daily.

She began to stir, a look of discomfort coming across her pale face. You lean forward and place a hand on her cheek, careful not to disrupt the feeding tube taped to her cheek, speaking softly in her ear.

"Darling, is something the matter?"

She turns her head, and opened her heavy eyes and gave you a smile. It seemed genuine. The first one since she heard you call her name in recovery a week before.

"I'm just a little sore. It's nothing."

Your brow furrowed, she was always trying to be strong and not wanting to be a bother. You debated whether to press her further, or just call the nurse. Almost as if on cue, the nurse came in with a fresh dose of pain medicine.

"Hello sleeping beauty, are we ready for more pain medicine?"

She didn't answer right away, you could see she was debating on pushing herself or just giving in so she could rest. She looked up at the clock, and then back to you. "What time is Ben supposed to be here? I'd rather not sleep through his visit."

You look back at her with look of slight concern. "He will be here shortly, but if you are in pain then take the medicine. Ben will not mind at all. He is coming to just be here. Nothing is expected of you."

She purses her lips into a thin and serious line and then looks to the nurse.

"I think I would like to try and wait," She took a break to swallow, sometimes talking was difficult due to the tube that she could feel in her throat. "I will call you if I change my mind. Is that alright?"

The nurse looks to her and then to me. A look of uncertainty in her eyes.

"I think I agree with Tom, dear. But if you want to see how you hold up so you can visit, I won't argue. I will leave some enzymes here just in case you decide to join the fellas in supper. Call me when you want your pain medicine or if you need anything else." She shot me a look before leaving the room. A look that meant for me to call when I felt she had enough.

Jane stares mindlessly at the TV, a look of pain still etched on her face.

Right as you were about to argue that she should take her pain medicine, Ben rounds the corner and into the room with a pizza, a container of soup, and a bundle of flowers and a teddy bear with a "Get Well" balloon tied around it's arm.

"Knock knock," he says lightly, unsure if she was sleeping.

"Ben!" you stand to greet your friend, taking the pizza and soup from him, setting it on the table before swinging your arm around him to give him a hug. He wraps his other arm around you and gives a squeeze back.

"Thanks for coming, Ben." You can't help but smile wide. It was so nice to have someone here with you.

He gives a grin back, and his eyes move over to the bed where little Jane lay, looking over with another small, but definitely genuine, smile.

"Hello, dear." He says gently, walking over to her bed.

You take the bear and flowers from him and go to place them on a little shelf under the window on the other side of her bed.

"Hi, Ben. Thank you for coming." She said, almost coming out as a whisper. You turn from the window and see her struggling to sit up, a wince washes away her previous expression. A slight gasp escapes her lips.

You rush over to help her into a comfortable sitting position. Grabbing her upper arm and sliding a hand around her back, giving a nod to Ben to scoot her pillows upward. You're supporting almost all of her weight at this point, you can hear her breathing get heavier with the energy she's using and the pain it's causing her. She gives herself a weak scoot and you start helping her lean back against the pillows gently.

She rests her eyes a moment, trying to get control of her breathing and the pain. Ben shoots you a look of sympathy before looking back down to her.

"Sorry," she croaks. She lifts her arms to give him a hug, he leans down and wraps his arms around her so gently. Scared of accidentally harming her fragile frame.

Once their embrace is over, you sit at the edge of the bed. Seriousness takes over your tone. "Jane, how about I call the nurse for your pain medicine now? You can take it with your soup."

After looking at you with the urge to fight it, another wince goes across her face, to which she just nods.

Ben is already ahead of you, grabbing the controller and hitting the red button with the picture of a nurse on it.

The nurse rounds the corner moments later, pain medicine in hand.

She leans down to hand them to Jane, asking her the usual question. "Can you give me a number, Jane?"

She takes the pills and swallows before answering. "A six I think."

The nurse writes the answer down on her little sheet of paper that she keeps in her pocket, and then leaves the room.

Ben takes a seat in the chair beside Jane's bed. "So, are we ready to try and eat something?"

Jane gives a little smile and nods. "Yeah I've been looking forward to this soup all day. Thank you for bringing it, Ben."

"Anything for you and Tom." He places the soup and a spoon on her table in front of her, while I open the pizza box and place a few pieces on a plate.

Ben and I both can't help but watch Jane as she eats, and seems to enjoy herself, for the first time in a week. She wasn't the only one, this pizza beats any of the cafeteria food you've had in the past week.

You and Ben kill off an entire large pizza, while Jane manages to eat half of her container of soup. Her lids droop as she sets her spoon down, turning to Ben. "That was great, Ben. Thank you so much."

He smiles at her and places his hand on hers. "You're welcome. I'm glad to see you enjoyed it." She just nods before laying her head back. The pain medicine and the sitting up taking their toll, putting her to sleep just that fast.

You and Ben stand and quietly start to clean the garbage from dinner. He whispers to you as he makes his way across the room to the trash can. "So how much longer do they think she will have to be here?"

It suddenly occurs to you that the topic of home hasn't even been brought up yet. Since things weren't going as smoothly as anyone had planned, the Doctors have only been taking things one day at a time.

"Well, that actually hasn't even been discussed yet. Things have just been taken one day at a time."

He just gives a nod.

And suddenly it all just spills out.

"I assume it will be at least another week. Maybe more. She only just started getting out of bed yesterday so she has to begin to build up her strength again, which will be even more difficult considering how this she is, she has to be past much of this pain and be able to eat. We also have to be taught how to use this g-tube. They said they should be able to remove her NG-tube this weekend and try her g-tube for the first time. She also has to put on a little weight first. Right now she sits at only 81 pounds. The doctors say that is too dangerous to send her home. Honestly, I would not be surprised if we are here until her next procedure to switch out her current g-tube for the one she will have permanently. And there is so much we must learn. How to run the over night feeds, how to care for the tube everyday, and how to change it out once a month. Luckily her lungs seem to have improved from the antibiotics, but there's still alot to do before we can even think about going home."

It felt as if a weight was just lifted off your shoulders. You hadn't shared how much it was going to take to get her home, because no one had asked. Like the doctors, they just asked how she was day by day.

Ben looked at you, his mouth struggling for words. Instead he moved across the room to place a sturdy hand on your shoulders.

"Is there anything I can do? My last interview is tomorrow morning and then I am not due anywhere until next week. Are there things you need to get done? I could stay with her for a day, or do some running for you. Anything you need, Tom."

You felt as if you could burst into tears, but you sucked it all in.

"Actually, I had a meeting on Friday that I was going to push back, but if you wouldn't mind sitting with her that would be great. I could also run home and pack some fresh things and do some of the laundry we've built up. If you're sure?"

A grin crosses his face, and he nodded. "I will be here Friday morning. Take as long as you need."

You can't help but give him another quick hug.

"I think I'm going to go though, you both look as though you could use some rest. I will see you Friday morning."

"Thank you so much, Ben."

"Not a problem. You would do the same for me."

It was true, you and Ben were almost like brothers.

He walks over to give Jane a light kiss on her forehead, and then he leaves.

You head to the bathroom to change into your pajamas. It's as if you feel lighter. You walk out and head over to Jane, still sound asleep, her look of discomfort gone.

You press the button on her bed to lay it back further, you lift her head gently to adjust her pillows how she liked them and then pulled the blanket up to tuck her in. She didn't stir at all.

You shut off the lights and the TV and make yourself comfortable, as much as possible anyway, on your cot right beside her. You drift off more easily tonight, finally ready to get a proper rest.

**JANE**

It was Friday morning and Ben had just arrived.

He came earlier than planned once Tom realized he didn't have proper clothes for the meeting and that he had to go home to get ready.

You were still half asleep when he walked in, a box of donuts in hand.

Tom walked over to Ben and mumbled a few things to him, you weren't sure what, but you figured it was something about how to help you during today's physical therapy session.

You were still lying down, but once they got done chatting, you searched for the button on the bed that would sit you up some. You found it and Tom came over to help you adjust your pillows.

"Good morning, Jane. I brought you some of your favorite donuts." He sounded rather cheery considering the hour.

You shoot him a poor excuse for a smile and croak out a "Thanks". Sleep still thick in your voice. Your lids already feeling heavy, again.

Tom is suddenly beside you, his warm hand on your cheek. "I'm going to go now, love. I will return this afternoon. Are you certain you'll be alright?"

You nod weakly and lean forward to give him a kiss. You suddenly realized how much you missed his touch, you missed his kisses, you missed him sleeping beside you. Pulling away quickly so as not to dwell on those thoughts and causing you to change your mind about his departure.

"I'm sure. Ben will make a great nurse for the day. Go and do what you need to do, I'll be here when you get back."

He looks at you, still uncertainty in his features. He nods and straightens back up turning toward Ben now.

"Call if you need to. I will have my phone on during the meeting. Thanks again."

Ben gives him a pat on the back. "We'll be fine, Tom. No worries. She's right, I'll be a swell nurse!"

Tom turns to look at you once more before turning and making his way out the door.

Your lids start to droop again as Ben sits in a chair beside you.

"Get some more rest. I'll just watch some telly."

You don't even nod, you just obediently lay your head back against the pillows, sleep coming quickly.

You hear a beeping coming from beside your bed, and a shushing noise coming from the same place.

You open your eyes and turn your head to see Ben looking at the pump that was beeping and shushing it repeatedly.

You can't help but giggle.

He looks at you, surprise and embarrassment cross his face.

"I'm sorry, did the bloody pump and I wake you? I didn't do it I swear. I've hit the call button. I'm sorry."

You hold back the urge to laugh again. It's a wonder him and Tom aren't relatives of some sort. "No it's ok. It's beeping because the antibiotic is done. What time is it, anyways? How long was I asleep?"

The nurse rounds the corner going straight for the pump, interrupting Ben before he could answer.

"Have a nice morning nap? You're due for pain medicine again. I suggest that you do take it now, physical therapy is early on Fridays so they will be here shortly. And I saw your respiratory therapist just down the hall, so she will be in any minute now."

You were rather sore so you probably wouldn't have protested the pain medicine anyway. You nod and she gives you your pain medicine and your other morning medications before leaving.

"It's almost eleven, so you were asleep a little over four hours."

It certainly didn't feel like four hours. You could go back to sleep right now without question. You wondered when that would start to go away.

Ben's chipper voice brought you out of your thoughts.

"Would you like to try out a donut? I got your favorite, jelly filled."

You really weren't even the slightest bit hungry, but you didn't want to hurt his feelings. You decided to give it a shot.

"Yes please."

A big smile crosses his face before handing you a napkin and your jelly donut. He grabs himself a plain glazed donut and digs in. You take a small bite, the jelly dripping onto the blankets on your lap. You reach for a napkin, but Ben is already there lifting the blanket slightly to wipe the jelly from it.

"Sorry, Jane. Maybe I should have thought that through more. Do you want a different one?"

You didn't even want the one that was in your hand.

"No no it's ok. This is my favorite. Perhaps you could grab a little paper plate from over there? Tom and I always bring some."

He walks over to the stack of plates on the window sill and brings it over to you along with more napkins.

"Thank you." You muster two more small bites before you don't want to risk another bite for fear of not being able to keep it down.

In walks your respiratory therapist, the perfect excuse to not finish your breakfast. You put your plate on the table as your RT hands you your nebulizer. You're done with your morning treatment rather quick and your RT leaves.

Right after Ben stands to throw away your plate, your physical therapist walks in.

He was an average sized man, younger and sort of stocky, he had blonde hair that he spiked. His name was Robert.

"Hi Jane, are you ready for me?"

You feel a sense of dread and determination each time you saw Robert. Therapy was so exhausting, draining, frustrating, and painful. But as much as you wanted to avoid all of that, a larger part of you wanted to beat it.

You give him a nod, and he makes his way across the room. Stopping once he sees Ben. Surprise crosses his face.

"Robert this is Ben, Ben this is Robert."

Ben reaches out to shake Roberts hand, and for a moment Robert is just frozen. Clearly starstruck. The same thing happened when he had met Tom. He accidentally called him Loki after the first session. After a moment he snaps out of it and grabs Ben's hand.

"Hi Robert, I'm watching over Jane today while Tom is out. What is it that Tom usually does to help?"

Robert takes a minute to answer. "Um, just usually talking her through things, helping support her weight. That sort of thing."

Robert turned to me now.

"So today I thought we would make our little walk across the room, and then we would try sitting at the edge of the bed and maybe see what you can do with these two pound weights. Does that sound ok?"

You swallowed hard, nervous about this new challenge. Nervous to find out what little you could do with puny two pound weights.

"Y-yeah that sounds alright."

"Great!" He makes his way to the bed and Ben follows.

Robert starts to peel the blankets away from you, and instructs Ben to help you sit up. He slides his large hands down your boney back, pushing gently as you struggle to sit upright.

Once there, he keeps one hand on your back to support some of your weight, while Robert helps you to swing your legs over the side of the bed.

It truly was embarrassing to be this weak. You couldn't stand the fact that you can't control your own body.

Once your legs were dangling from the edge of the bed, Robert and Ben both move a hand to your upper arms helping to slowly hoist you up.

Your knees wobbled as you struggled to straighten all the way up. Robert slid his hand round your waist, and you took your first small step. This was only day three, but you were still frustrated that it didn't seem much easier. Your feet felt like led and your legs felt like pudding.

They both kept a tight grip on you as you slowly made your way across the room. At about halfway the pain in your abdomen started to intensify and you felt exhaustion creeping in, but you pushed on. You wanted to try and make it all the way across.

"How ya doing, Jane?"

You turn up to Robert, trying not to let the strain show on your face.

"I wanna try to make it all the way across."

He watches you a moment, studying to see if he thinks you're able. He nods after a moment and you continue on your way across the rest of the room.

Only a few more steps and you were there, everything aching in protest. Ben and Robert both looked down at you while you took the final few steps to the doorway.

Big grins reaching there faces when you did.

"Wonderful!" Ben said.

Great job!" Robert said.

You were too concerned with the trudge back to be excited. You turned to go back but your feet couldn't move anymore. You just shake your head, fighting hard to hold back tears.

Robert nods and speaks to Ben. Taking on your full weight.

"Ben, can you go get that chair from beside her bed for me?"

A look of worry flashes across his face before rushing to the chair, carrying it back and placing it in front of you quickly.

Him and Robert help to sit you down.

You just sit, closing your eyes and taking deep slow breaths in an attempt to gain control of your pain and breathing.

Ben kneels beside you, placing a hand on your knobby little knee.

After a few moments, you open your eyes again. Feeling some relief. Robert starts talking once he sees you've calmed some.

"So, how about we do a little bit with the weights right here, and then see if you can make it back to bed after a rest?"

You can't do it. You know it. Especially not without, Tom.

"I will do the weights, but I don't think I can make it back to bed. I'm sorry."

"That's completely fine. You know your limits."

He walks across the room to grab the weights, while Ben still kneels beside you. Watching you intensely.

You give Ben a smile, hoping it helps him relax a bit.

Robert brings back the weights, asking you to lift them above your head and out in front of you with your arms straight.

You manage to do that, three times each. It was difficult, but not as difficult as walking. They both tell you how good you've done before the push you in the chair back to the bed.

Robert helps to swing your legs back onto the bed while Ben adjusts your pillows and helps you to lean back. Robert speaks as he covers you back up with the blanket.

"That was such a big step today, Jane. I'm really proud of you. And wait until Tom hears! I'm not here on weekends, but I will leave instructions for the nurses on some little things to help you with."

You are fighting your lids slamming shut. Managing a nod before he turns to leave.

"Thanks for helping today, and it was such an honor to meet you!"

You can hear slight concern in Ben's tone.

"Oh no thank you, and it was nice meeting you too."

Ben shuts the door and returns to your side.

"Is there anything you need?"

You shake your head, still trying to fight off the sleep.

"You should get some rest."

Your voice comes out quiet. "No, I don't want to leave you here alone all day."

He gives a little giggle before speaking.

"You're not leaving me alone. Besides, Tom texted me that he would be back sooner than he thought. The meeting didn't go as long as he thought."

"Did it go ok?" Sudden concern in your voice.

"Oh yes things went fine. It was about a movie that is set to release three years from now or something. It's fine."

You nod as your lids start to slam shut. Unable to fight it off anymore.

"Thank you for staying with me today, Ben."

He gives a small kiss on the forehead.

"You're quite welcome."


	6. Chapter 6

**TOM**

Another week has passed and Jane gets stronger each day.

She no longer has the NG-tube as she's been able to use her g-tube.

We take walks around the unit about twice a day so her physical therapist doesn't come to the room anymore. She no longer needs pain medicine so it's easier for her to keep her ground without too much help. She's even gained a pound now that she is able to eat more.

In another week she has to have a small procedure to switch out her current g-tube for one that is smaller. Her current one is a longer tube that we keep taped to her stomach so it doesn't get caught on anything, and the new one will be just a small button that will be flesh to her skin.

Dr. S, Jane, and I, have agreed that it is probably best to just stay in the hospital since her procedure is only a week away and she would have to return anyways. She still was at a very dangerous weight, and still had some weakness so they would rather just to keep her and work on those issues. You have yet to go home overnight, but you were finally comfortable leaving her in the afternoon to go and tend to a few things at home.

You two were taking your last walk of the night, you helped her push her IV pole down the halls. You looked down at her often to make sure she wasn't struggling. "Tom, I'm ok. Don't look so nervous." She teased.

"I'm sorry love, I just want to make sure you are comfortable."

She doesn't say anything else, just shoots you a smile and continues walking. Her pace get's a little quicker each day, you didn't have to slow down much for her anymore. You couldn't believe what a difference a week has made in her condition. Ben and Chris still checked in, but not daily anymore now that she's been up and around.

Once back to the room she slowed, her exhaustion from the day finally hitting her. You help her to bed and call the nurse so she can come to set up her overnight feed.

Jane lean back, and gave a little sigh.

"Everything alright, dear?"

She nods, speaking quietly as if she were already half asleep.

"Tom, are you sure you're still ok with sleeping on the cot? I'll be ok if you want to start going home to sleep again."

You could see the uncertainty in her face and you just give her a small kiss on the lips. "I'm fine. I get more rest here knowing you're beside me than I do at home by myself."

It was true. Over these last two weeks you had grown used to the beeps and the whirs and the nurses coming in and out. A quiet lonely house seems unpleasant, even if the bed was much more welcoming.

The nurse comes in and begins setting up her feeding pump. You've been learning some of the steps, though some things would change once she got her new tube. It was fairly simple. Simpler than you had first anticipated at least.

Jane was already fast asleep by the time she was hooked up. The nurse did a last check of her vital signs and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. As much as you wanted to go home in just a little more then a week, you were nervous. She's been provided with such excellent care these past three weeks, you hoped you would be able to keep providing her with what she needed. Especially once you went back to work.

You change into some sweats and then give her a kiss on the forehead before tucking her in tighter and turning off the lights. Settling in on your creaky cot, you fall asleep to the familiar hospital sounds, almost like a lullaby to you now.

**JANE**

It seemed as though the last week has just flown by.

You were sitting in pre-op in your large gown, covered in blankets and holding Toms hand tightly. You couldn't help but be nervous considering how you woke up last time.

You were promised it was a very mild procedure and that you would not wake up that way again, they probably wouldn't even use the hardcore anesthesia.

Tom was more calm this time around it seemed. Unless he was putting on a brave face for your benefit.

His smooth voice brought you back from your worries. "Darling, please try to calm down. Everything is going to be fine, they've assured you multiple times that it is a much easier procedure. This is a step forward, not back. You're going to come out, and by tomorrow you'll feel fine. We will learn how to properly care for your g-tube and then we will finally be home." He gives you a kiss on the cheek and then the anesthesiologist comes back to take you away.

You hold back tears as you give Tom a hug. "I love you."

"Love you, too. I'll be here when you wake up."

And then you're being wheeled through those familiar heavy doors.

You felt far away.

Darkness was everywhere and you tried desperately to find something, anything, familiar.

"Jane... Jane, dear."

You knew that voice. Where was he? Things were still dark. You couldn't find him.

You felt a sudden squeeze on your right hand and the voice was speaking again.

"Jane, can you open your eyes? You did wonderful. Please just open your eyes for me."

His voice got louder and the pressure on your right hand continued. You were feeling more. A cool hand brush against your forehead. A dull ache in your abdomen. Things were clearer.

"My love, I'm here."

You felt back in your own body. You struggled to open your heavy eyes. You decided to squeeze the hand that held yours. It was a weak attempt, not sure if it even registered to him.

"Well hello darling. Can you open your eyes for me?"

You tried again, desperately wanting to see him. Your eyes fluttered, searching until you find him. Not far from you, you saw him. Smiling at you gently. A slight shiver ran through you and a hand was on your forehead again. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Your throat still sore.

Tom looked away from you for a moment, talking to someone you couldn't see. "She feels a bit warm."

Another voice was talking now. You turned your heavy head to find the woman who was talking to you. "Hi Jane, you're in recovery. Things went well. Now, can you answer a few questions for me?"

Trying to speak again, you manage to croak out a "ok".

"How is your pain?"

You think moment, concentrating on your abdomen. It was still just an ache. Much better than last time. They doctors were right. "N-not bad. Just s-s-sore." Your voice was hoarse and quiet. It sounded foreign to your ears.

"Good. You're on a low dose of pain medicine so I'll give you a little more for that ache and your throat, too. Are you chilly, hon? You've got a shiver."

You hadn't noticed, but the first shiver you had was now almost a constant. You nod, and then a thermometer is being placed under your tongue. After the beep you look up to the nurse who now wears a slight frown.

"101.4 you got a little fever from the anesthesia. I'll get you another blanket and some tylenol. I'll be right back."

You look back to Tom who was stroking your hair with a little grin on his face. "The surgeon said you did great. You should be mostly pain free by tomorrow and then the day after we should be discharged. This tube will be much more comfortable for you, too."

You just nod as another shiver runs through you. Exhaustion creeping back in. Your eyes shut. The last thing you're aware of is the warmth of another blanket and Toms whisper. "We're going to take you back to your room now, love. Just rest."


	7. Chapter 7

_Authors note: I would just like to thank everyone who is reading my little story. It is my first one, so I'm still figuring a few things out. And a special thank you to Khaleesi Cosima Laufeyson, who follows the story and leaves such sweet and encouraging reviews!_

**TOM**

Jane has been home for several weeks now. She's still a little weak, but other than that she's back to her old self. Her appetite has picked back up now that she isn't subjected to hospital food. She's at 88 pounds and while she's still extremely thin, it isn't as dangerous as it was.

You've fallen into a pretty good routine at home, Jane takes care of the management needed for her tube and I setup her feeds. It is strange having a pole and pump in your room and having a drawer of tubes and formula. But as long as she was home it didn't matter.

You had returned to some work, training for your next film.

Shooting began next week so you and Jane would be moving on location for the next few months. It made you nervous to be away from her doctors, but it made you more nervous to leave her here alone.

You were just finishing up dinner. Homemade macaroni and cheese, salad, and fried chicken. For her anyways, you would have a grilled chicken breast and mostly salad. While she was what she called "chubby chasing" you were not.

She wandered up from her spot on the couch over to the counter to watch you finish.

"Mmmm it smells delicious, Tom."

Hearing her talk like that and sounding healthy put a smile on your face. "Good, it's awfully filling so I hope you're wearing your loose pants."

She rolled her eyes at you and then got up to start gathering things like plates and silverware.

You make yourself and her a plate and go to sit at the counter. She digs right in.

"So," she says inbetween bites, "where are we going to be staying in Hawaii?"

"We are be going to renting a small apartment nearby the set. We should be there for at least three months I think."

She nods and then pushes her plate away from her in defeat.

"Tom that was delicious, but if I eat anymore I just might pop." She rubs her hands over her little belly.

You giggle, impressed she had finished over half of her meal. "Well we wouldn't want that now would we?"

You clean up dinner and she goes and takes a shower and tends to her nightly g-tube care.

When you're done you make some tea and ready a movie and make her a cozy spot ready on the couch.

She makes her way back to the den wearing sweatpants and one of your hoodies. Her shorter hair was done in two low little pigtails. She looked positively adorable. She heads straight to the couch, covering under the blanket and shivering into your shoulder. You wrap an arm around her and rub her arm. "You are aware it is mid June, right? Always so cold. It's like living with a little penguin."

"If you were this small you'd be cold, too! Heat rises and you're way up there, no wonder you're always warm. Down here, not so much. It's like living with a..a hot giraffe!" You both just look at each other a moment before bursting into laughter. "A hot giraffe? What in the world does that mean?" She laughs so hard she starts coughing, in between breaths she still giggles. "I don't know! I couldn't think of anything really tall but also known for heat! A giraffe was the first thing that came to mind!"

You rub circles into her back while she still coughs. "Well thank you my little penguin. Now, shall we watch the movie?"

She get's control of her coughing and breathing. "Yeah, but I think I should do an extra neb tonight. Or maybe some clap therapy while we watch?" She turns to you with a big grin.

Clap therapy is a technique used to help get the infection from her lungs. You cup your hands and pat on her back and sides to help loosen the infection from the lungs. You nod and she places a pillow on your lap and lies down across it.

You press play and begin patting lightly, but firm, on Janes back. "Is this ok, love?"

She lifts her head up from the pillow. "Yeah it feels good. So what movie are we watching?"

"I thought we'd watch King Kong since that's what I'm going to film in a week. It's not the original as I've already studied that one quite a bit, but it's the one from 2005. I've only seen that one once."

She nods. "Ok, I don't think I've seen this one."

Once you're done with her back she turns to her side. She jumps at one scene in the movie and you hold back a slight chuckle.

She turns to her other side then. You were studying both the movie and her therapy. It was a little tricky.

Once done with all sides she sits up to give you a quick little kiss. "Thank you." "Of course, darling."

She scoots down so it's just her head in your lap now. You pull the covers over her shoulder and run your fingers through her hair. There's a few more scenes when she jumps, she was easily scared when it came to movies.

After awhile the little jumps stop and you look down to see she's fallen asleep. You give her a little kiss on the cheek and then concentrate on the rest of the movie. You were very excited for filming.. It's different from any work you've done before and you're excited for the challenge.

Once the movie is over you pull her into your lap and stand to carry her off to bed.

You lay her down and she snuggles in without waking. You turn on the bedside lamp and begin setting up her overnight feed. You get out the bag and tubing and three cans of formula, along with several enzymes to crush inside the formula to make sure she absorbs it throughout the night. It was quite a little process, but you've gotten it down to a science so it only takes you a few minutes.

You lift her shirt and inspect her g-tube to make sure everything still looks okay and that nothing looks irritated. Once you see it's all fine you attach the tube and press the start button. The familiar whirring begins and then you pull down her shirt and properly tuck her in before crawling in beside her. Pulling her in close and drifting to sleep.

**JANE**

You and Tom were on your way to Hawaii. It was surprising how much work it was to make sure you would get everything you needed. You couldn't fly everything you required for your care, and obviously you couldn't just drive, so there was alot of phone calls and things to work out in this last week. A home health care system was already setup so that when you arrived you just had to make a phone call and they would deliver all of your new g-tube equipment and other things like your mediport flush kits and the things needed for your breathing treatments.

Dr. S had called the pharmacy by where you are staying and let them know of the situation and called in your prescriptions. He also sent you scripts for everything just in case. It was exhausting. You were so thankful for Toms help, sometimes it feels like he knows more about your health and needs then even you do.

You and Tom both slept the whole flight.

Once you landed things went surprisingly smooth considering how much luggage you had to take for three months. You both were almost certain one bag would get lost, but you got all your bags and then walked out into the sunshine.

It was breathtaking. You've never been to anywhere like this, you went to Florida once to visit your grandparents when you were young, but that was nothing compared to Hawaii.

You just stood there in awe at the beautiful blue in the sky, the abundance of flowers and tall trees, the cool and clean breeze.

You noticed Tom looking down at you with a grin. "What?"

"It's just wonderful to see you so happy."

You give each other a kiss and then go and approach the rental car that was left for you both.

You drive with the windows down and the music up. Still trying to soak it all in. This is what you would call home for the next three months. It was too good to be true.

You arrived at your little apartment where Tom had requested we be on the bottom level so you wouldn't have to bother with stairs. Something you probably wouldn't have even thought of.

You walk in and it's a cozy little place. Lot's of windows so it's very bright and cheery. Tom is still getting the bags, not letting you help. You go to the kitchen that's just off the den and it's much smaller than yours, but it's cute. Light blue walls that were pretty in the sunlight that filled it. You walk down a short hall to the bedroom that was at the end. There was a big bed in the middle with posts and a canopy. There was a large window, again filling the room with sun. There was a tiny closet and a TV on the wall. Back out in the hall you look and find a small closet for linen and the little bathroom with pale yellow walls.

You walk back into the den and Tom had just finished bringing in the luggage. You smile big and rush over to give him a hug. He wraps his arms around you tight, kissing the top of your head.

"I take it you like the place?"

You nod into his chest. "Tom it's wonderful and it's just so nice here. I love it!"

He giggles and you start leading him around to show him where you both would be living. "Wow, this is a lovely little place. So much sunshine!"

You're excited to unpack and move into your cozy little home, but you're tired and kind of hungry.

"Tom, can we unpack in a bit after some lunch and a nap?" He gives you a grin. "Just what I was thinking. I saw a little diner just a few blocks from here. How about we go there?"

"Ok. Can we walk? I wanna be out in this beautiful weather." He nods and grabs your hand, grabbing your purse before you head out the door.

You walk hand in hand down these adorable streets with lovely little shops and houses. Tom was shooting in a more remote area, so where you were staying was a rather small town.

You make your way into the diner and have a seat at a booth. It was a charming little diner. Flowers on the tables, leafy wallpaper and framed pictures of people surfing scattered here and there along the walls. A woman in a loose floral dress with her dark hair pulled into a long braid came to take your orders. You both ordered the special and it came out quickly. Neither of you spoke, just enjoying the meal in front of you and the atmosphere around you.

Once finished you lean back with a big yawn. Tom smiles and slides out of the booth to go pay, returning quickly and holding out his hand to help you slide out of the booth.

You make your way back to the apartment and Tom sweeps you up and carries you off to the bedroom. Kissing you the whole way there.


	8. Chapter 8

**TOM**

You've been in Hawaii for two weeks now. Filming was going great. You loved all the cast and crew and it's been really fun to shoot so far.

You leave early each morning and Jane stays home to work on her articles for the newspaper back home and do a little house work. Mostly she tried to stay well rested so hopefully she would not need a hospitalization in a strange place. She always had dinner ready for you when you'd return home, dead tired from a hard days work. Her cooking was never the best but it was improving, and it's the thought that counts.

You're driving home, eager for these next two days off. You wanted to plan something nice to do. Something to make up for the anniversary you'd missed, but something relaxing at the same time. You had thought about the beach, but you were unsure of how comfortable Jane would be at a beach with her new g-tube.

You walk into the house, and hear a Beatles record playing, you smell dinner cooking, and you see Jane in sports shorts and a sweatshirt standing at the stove humming along to 'Here Comes The Sun'. A big grin comes across your face and you walk over to her.

"Hello my little penguin, that smells delicious."

She turns around and you both embrace each other. She stands on her tip toes to give you a kiss.

"It's spaghetti and meatballs. How was work?"

You leave the kitchen to set your things on the coffee table, taking a seat on the couch. "Oh it was good. A lot of action sequences were shot today so I'm pretty tired. How was your day?" You ended your sentence with a yawn.

She gives a giggle and starts getting out the plates to serve supper. "It was ok, I finished my article and then took a little nap before heading to the store to pick-up some prescriptions and things for dinner. It was nice so I just walked. Dinner is ready, hun."

You give a little stretch and then heave yourself off the couch. Noticing how sore your muscles were getting from today. You head over to the tiny table beside the fridge and took a seat. She sat across from you setting down your plates of pasta. It really did look delicious.

"Thank you, it looks good." You say twirling pasta onto your fork.

It's great, you take no time inbetween bites. Feeling extra hungry today, probably due to the extra work put in.

Jane gives a slight chuckle. "I'm glad you like it." You nod and then the rest of dinner is silent.

When the meal is done Jane goes to cleanup and you head for the shower. The hot water soothing your aches.

You change into some boxer shorts and an old tshirt and head to the living room where you find Jane curled up under an afghan with a book. You go and sit next her, pulling her in close beside you. She sets down her book and lays her head on your chest. "Feeling better?" You kiss the top of her head. "Yes the hot water felt great for some of the aches." "Good." You decide to ask her about this weekend, crossing your fingers it wouldn't upset her.

"So..I was wondering if maybe you would like to go to the beach, tomorrow? We never did get to celebrate our anniversary, I thought maybe a day at the beach and then a romantic dinner would be nice. It's something to do without being too strenuous. If you don't that's completely fine too."

She sits up and looks at you a moment before answering. "It wouldn't bother you to go to a beach with me? Being all skinny and having a tube in my stomach?"

Your jaw drops, staring at her as tears well in her eyes. She looks away before they can spill. You gently grab her chin and turn her head back towards you. Looking into her eyes. "Jane, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Inside and out. It's foolish to think I would be ashamed or embarrassed to be seen with you. I think that you wearing your two piece and showing off all your beauty is the most encouraging and sexy thing. People who don't like it can bugger off. If you are comfortable, I am comfortable. I would love nothing more than to be seen with the most beautiful and strong woman in the world."

She smiles as the tears fall, leaning back into your chest. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I've just been in previous relationships where they wouldn't have been caught dead on a beach with me... I'd love to go to the beach. I wanna soak up as much of Hawaii as I can and I want to celebrate our anniversary. I love you, Tom. Thank you."

Things are pretty quiet after that. You both just relax on the couch, watching some mindless TV. You lie on your side and she lays beside you under her afghan. You can't help but think about what man would do or say those things to her. It fills you with hurt and rage.

At some point during your thoughts, you realize she's fallen asleep and your eyes also start to droop. You're too comfy and too content to move to bed. She get's one night off her tube feeds each week so it would be ok to sleep where you're at. You wrap your arms around her tight, before giving into your exhaustion after a long day.

**JANE**

You stood in front of the mirror in a dressing room, and have been for awhile.

You were trying your hardest to like what you see.

The bathing suit you had bought was too big now so you had to go out and buy another one, and a decent dress or wrap to pull over for when you went to dinner. Tom had dropped you off at a little strip mall and he went to the beach to setup a few things that he refused to share.

You decided on a white two piece with yellow daisies on it and a lavender knee length sundress. You pay and then walk to the diner next door to change before Tom picks you up. Looking one last time at yourself in the ladies room mirror before slipping on the lavender dress.

You walk outside and Tom is parked right outside, looking around for you. He gets a big grin once he spots you shuffling over to him.

You reach him and he leans down to give you a quick kiss. "Wow. You look positively gorgeous." You blush and do a little curtsey. "Why thank you! Ready for the beach?" He nods and opens your car door, he shuts you in and then heads over to his side. Shooting you one last grin before he starts the car and drives towards the beach.

You park and he carries the basket full of sunscreen and towels, a jacket for you since you were always so cold, and some of your medications.

You walk along the beach trying to find a nice quiet spot, it wasn't too hard to find. The beach was surprisingly quiet considering the beautiful day. But you were also on a very remote part of the island so there weren't too many people to crowd the beach anyways.

You settle on a nice spot that was inbetween the water and the road and about halfway down the strip of the beach. Tom set down the basket and began unpacking. Laying out the blanket and getting the sunblock out and ready. You were still sort of nervous about taking off your sundress. It was better that it wasn't as crowded as you anticipated, but it didn't ease your nerves completely. Suddenly Tom was beside you. "Darling? Are you sure you're up for this? We can always find something else to do." You look over at him and see the sincere look in his eyes. You did not want to disappoint him, you wanted to have a nice day. You suck in a deep breath and lift your dress up over your head. Folding it nicely and placing it inside the basket before returning to Tom who stood there with nothing but a smile. A smile you've never seen on him before.

"You look stunning, my love. I am so proud of you." He walks over and grabs you to pull you in close. Squeezing you tightly. "C'mon let's go get in the water before I change my mind." He let's you go and removes his white shirt, leaving nothing but his green board shorts. You both spray each other with the sunblock and you double check that the seal that you taped over your g-tube was still intact. You had to cover it up to make sure it didn't catch any sort of infection. Once that was all done, you grabbed his hand and looked up at him, smiling wide. He smiled back and at the same time you started darting toward the ocean. His long legs took him farther and faster. You quickly fell behind.

You hear him laughing ahead of you before he reaches the water and darts right in. "Cheater!" You shout before reaching the water yourself. Jumping at the cold and trying to turn right back around. Tom grabs you by the waist and pulls you back with him. You both sink under and back up quickly. You start giggling and splashing him but he just shakes his wet curls at you.

A small little wave comes in and takes you both under quickly. Pushing you forward and back. You both come back up for air and start laughing. You're not laughing at anything, just the fact that you are both having such fun. After another round of splashing and giggles, Tom grabs you by the waist and pulls you in. Leaning down for a kiss. He kisses you hard, you start running your fingers through his soaked locks as his grip around your waist tightens.

Before things get out of hand, another short wave comes crashing into you both, taking you down and up in the blink of an eye. Once back up, you suddenly feel a wave of exhaustion. "Can we head back to shore now?" He nods and sweeps you up, carrying you back to shore, he sets you down in front of the blanket and then wraps a towel around your shoulders before getting one himself.

You sit down on the blanket, clutching the towel tightly and wrapping it around you tighter. You try not to noticeably shiver but Tom sees and sits down beside you with another towel. "Are you ok?" You grip the other towel around you just as tight before answering. "Yes I'm fine. Just a penguin thing." With that you both lay back on the towel, content in each others arms. You feel your eyes start to droop, your body feeling utterly exhausted. Could you really not handle this kind of activity anymore? The next thing you know Tom is gently shaking your shoulder. "Oh penguin? It's time we head for dinner now."

You open your eyes and notice the sun was beginning to set. How long have you been asleep? Tom was changed into nice jeans and a button up short sleeved shirt. You sit up slowly, and Tom offers you a hand up. Once on your feet you pull your dress back on and swoop your hair into a small pony with the hair tie on your wrist.

"Ready?"

You nod and take his arm as you walk back toward the street. You only walk about a block before you reach a tiny intimate looking place. You walk in and Tom gives his name to the hostess and then she leads you straight back to a porch with only one table. There were twinkle lights that were strung around and it had the most gorgeous view of the ocean. The hostess leaves as you and Tom sit.

"Oh Tom, it's gorgeous."

He gives his signature Tom smile. "I' glad you like it."

The waiter comes and takes your orders and the shortly returns with a bottle of champagne. Tom lifts his glass towards yours and then you clink them together. "To us!" He says.

Dinner comes and goes and you talk about some of the filming Tom has been doing. He's really very excited about this film and is excited for the new and different challenges it brings each day.

Once dinner was finished and the sun was almost set, Tom slides out of his chair and down to one knee. You look at him in confusion for a second. Haven't we already been through this?

"Um... Tom? What are you doing? You know you've already proposed, and I agreed?"

"I know but I want to do this right. You didn't get all this and it's what you deserve, so just use your imagination my dear."

You smile and nod at him to continue.

"Jane, you are perfect. You are the only woman I can see myself spending the rest of my life with. I love you with everything I am. Will you marry me? Here in Hawaii?"

Your mouth drops. Did he mean now? Your voice gets high. "Wait, like now?!"

He shakes his head and almost laughs. "No not quite that soon. But while we are here, yes. I know we haven't talked about the wedding really so I don't know if it's something you would want, but it's just so beautiful and it wouldn't have to be some big exhausting project. We can throw another small ceremony at home for family and friends, but we could have this for us."

You lurch forward, wrapping your arms around his neck and sinking off the chair and onto your knees. Tears began to flow. "Yes! Yes! Yes! I would love nothing more."

He squeezes you tighter before pulling you up for a strong kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

**TOM**

It had been a few days since your second proposal and things were already underway. You would have the marriage license in the next few weeks, you had decided on a nice little gazebo on a beach on the other part of town, and you and Jane would be going to look for something to wear on your next few days off. She was so excited and so happy. You both couldn't wait.

You were up early for a day at work, Jane was still sound asleep in bed.

You go to give her a light kiss goodbye and she doesn't wake, usually she opens her eyes and gives you a groggy goodbye. Did she seem more pale?

You push down your worries and chalk it up to the little bit of planning she has been doing. You would call her a little sooner than usual to calm yourself and tell her not to worry about dinner.

You tuck her in tighter and leave for the set, unable to shake the little bit of uneasiness still inside you.

**JANE  
**You wake to the sound of your phone ringing. Who was calling at this hour? Tom hadn't even kissed you goodbye yet.

You roll over and blindly reach for your phone, yanking it off the charger and sliding it to answer before even looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?" You croak.

An unexpected voice comes through the other end. It was Tom, he had concern in his tone. "Jane? Are you alright, love?"

You whip your head around to find that Tom was not next to you. You suddenly realize that the room was filled with bright sunlight, your overnight feed was long over with. You gaze at the clock on the wall and it says it is almost one in the afternoon.

"Wow. Um hey. Sorry, I was still asleep."

"Yes you didn't wake when I left this morning which is why I am calling sooner than usual. Are you ok?"

Despite your extra sleep, you still felt tired. "Yeah yeah... I'm fine. Just needed extra rest I suppose. How is work?"

He hesitates a moment before answering. "Things are well. There are some storm clouds rolling in so I may be home a bit early. Unless you need me home sooner?"

"Tom, I'm fine. Be careful ok? I'm going to go and make something to eat and close up the house before the storm comes. I love you."

"Alright, I love you too. Call if you need me."

You start to sit up, feeling some strange aches and pains. "I will. Bye now."

You push off the blankets and feel a chill. Probably the storm coming in. You unhook your g-tube from the pump and throw all the old tubing away. You change into a pair of leggings and a t-shirt and one of Toms hoodies.

You make your way out of the bedroom and over to the bathroom, your legs feeling like jelly. You take a look in the mirror to fix your hair and notice how pale you looked. You slip your hair into a messy little bun and leave for the kitchen, hoping your symptoms was just your blood sugar acting up. You grab yourself a pop-tart and munch on it as you make your way to all the windows to close them up.

It was looking darker and you could feel a nip in the breeze.

Your walk around was starting to make you feel dizzy and your stomach was starting to protest your snack.

You go back to the couch and lay back, closing your eyes until the spinning subsides.

You drift off at some point and wake up shivering, hearing the sound of rain and the ring of your cell. You know before you answer that it's Tom on his way home.

"Hi" You squeak.

"Hi love, did I wake you? I'm about to leave the set. I will be home shortly. Are you ok?"

You decide it's best to answer him honestly, he'd see you were lying when he got home anyways. "Actually, I think I may have caught something. I'm not sure. Just drive safe and I will see you when you get home."

"I will be home to you soon. Just relax. I love you."

"Love you, too."

You lay there for awhile. You wanted to get up to get more blankets, but you felt overcome by weakness. Unsure if you can make it to the bedroom and back without falling. Another violent shake rolls through you and that's all it takes to make up your mind. You sit up and wait a moment for the spinning to slow, you feel a sudden throbbing in your head. You push yourself up off the couch and make your way toward the bedroom, grabbing walls for support. You make it to the bed and grab a handful of blankets, it taking more energy than you thought. You turn to leave and the room whirls faster and your legs give out. Luckily you had an armful of cushion to break the fall.

You start to panic, wondering how you're going to get up when you hear the front door. "Jane? Where are you?"

You sigh in relief before calling out his name. "Tom, I'm in here." You try to push yourself up before he enters but the room still spins and you just lay back down. Closing your eyes until you heard his voice again.

"Jane! What happened?" You open your eyes and he was right in front of you, his blue eyes had a look of fear.

"I needed more blankets but I got dizzy and fell. I haven't been here long and the blanket broke my fall so I'm ok." You tried to sound calm but you weren't so sure if you had succeeded.

He slips his arms under you and picks you and the blankets up, taking you back to the couch and laying you down gently. He sits beside you and takes your hand. "Do we need to go to the hospital? Should I call Dr. S?"

You shake your head weakly, feeling drained. "No, I think I'm alright. I just want to wait and see if this all passes."

He looks at you with concern, stroking your hair. "I'm not so sure, Jane... I'm worried."

You squeeze his hand and try to calm him down. "Tom..please..I don't want to go. I want to just try and eat and drink something and get some rest and see how I am in the morning before we do anything."

He sighs in defeat and gets up to get you some food and water. "Alright, but in the morning if you have not improved I'm calling."

**TOM**

She had managed a few crackers and some water before she fell back asleep. She had a slight fever which would explain the shivering so you had given her tylenol.

You held her as she slept beside you on the couch, the rain was still coming down in a steady fashion. Almost rhythmic.

This is what life was like with CF. One day she's completely fine and the next she does a flip and no one knows what is wrong. It was a day by day thing. You hated to see her this way.

You wanted to take her to a hospital, but you understood her protest considering it was no one she was familiar with.

Your mind keeps going back to seeing her lying on the bedroom floor buried underneath blankets. You shutter at the thought of what would have happened had it been a full days work.

Her shivers seemed to have stopped so hopefully the tylenol had knocked the fever out completely.

As night fell you scooped her up and took her to bed, tucking her in tightly with blankets and pillows.

You stepped into the hall to quickly call and leave a message with the director that you would not be in tomorrow. They knew your situation and were very generous about it all.

You changed into comfortable clothes and then began to set up her nightly feed. She did not move once. She had been asleep for so long, you wanted to wake her, but you decided against it. Her body must need the rest. It must be fighting off something. Hopefully the added rest would get rid of whatever it was and she would have improved my morning.

Once things were set you crawled in next to her, laying your arm across her gently. You fell asleep watching the gentle rise and fall in her chest, wishing for a better day for her tomorrow.

_Authors Note: Another thank you to all those who read or come across my little story! I hope I am doing an ok job, like I said this is my first fanfic and I'm discovering most of this story along the way! I am not sure yet how long it will be, but I really am enjoying myself and will continue so long as I'm finding the inspiration and so long as people are enjoying! I won't leave you hanging! If there's anything you would like to see Tom and Jane do, feel free to let me know and I'll see if I can fit it in somehow!_

_And another thing, people with CF very much do live with these things day to day, I'm not adding things for a damsel in distress kind of way, I just wanted to write something cute and fan related that could also raise some awareness!_


	10. Chapter 10

**JANE**

You're aware of warm arms around you, blankets swallowing you, and a voice calling you.

You tried to find the voice calling you but all you saw was darkness. "Jane?"

It was getting louder, closer.

"Jane?"

You desperately tried to find the voice you knew so well. Finally, you saw light.

Your eyes fluttered open to see the sun filled bedroom. You roll over carefully to find him.

And there he was, inches from you, holding you gently.

"Hello sleeping beauty, how are you feeling?"

You give a weak cough before answering, your mouth was so dry. "Better I think... How long have I been asleep?"

He smiles and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. "Somewhere around 13 hours or so. I'm sorry to wake you but I was starting to get worried."

Realization hits you in your foggy state, your eyes go wide. "Tom why aren't you at work?! Y-you can't miss work because of me, I could have called I- I" He shushed you.

"Darling, I called them last night and they were fine with it. No harm done. I am more needed here."

You just look at him a moment, still tired but you were starting to take notice as to how you were feeling. You weren't shivering, the room wasn't spinning, no throbbing in your head. You start to sit up, Tom helping you.

"I think I'm ok. I'm still a little tired and achey, but definitely better than yesterday."

He gives you a nod, he seemed to be studying you. Checking for himself that you did truly seem better.

"Would you like to try and move to the den? Maybe try and eat and drink something?"

You agree and start to push the blankets off and he gets up to walk to the side of the bed to unhook your g-tube and help you out of bed. Taking your hands to pull you up and then wrapping an arm around your waist. You did feel a little wobbly, but that was probably due to the amount of time you had just spent sleeping.

He helps you to the couch and lays your afghan over your lap before he heads to the kitchen to get you some breakfast.

You lean back and rest, thinking of how lucky you were that whatever happened yesterday had passed. You really wanted to avoid a strange hospital and doctors at all costs. Before you knew it, Tom was standing in front of you with a glass of water and some peanut butter toast.

You eagerly start drinking the water, it soothing your dry and scratchy throat. Tom sits beside you, still watching closely while you ate your meal.

"Tom, I'm not a bomb that's going to explode. Honestly I'm feeling much better. Just tired from what happened. I should be back to my old self by tomorrow."

He smirked and then leaned back, turning on the TV and leaving you to finish your toast.

Once you finished he took your plate and returned with more water. You snuggled back into his arms, fighting your drooping eyelids.

"So, what do you think that was?" He finally asked.

"I have no idea. Maybe a little 24 hour virus, I might have just had a stupid CF day. Hard to tell. All that matters is that it seems to be gone."

You felt his sigh as he held you tighter. It was quiet then, and you let yourself drift back to sleep. Feeling safe and well in Toms arms.

**TOM**

You and Jane were on your way to the large mall in the next town over to go shopping for wedding clothes.

It's since been a week since her strange sickness, and she was back to her old self.

You found a close parking space and you both got out and went to each other holding hands as you walked inside.

"So, I will call you when I've found something, and you call me when you've found something and we'll meet in the food court. Sound good?"

You didn't like the idea of her walking around a large and strange mall without you, but you knew she would never agree to tag along with her and risk seeing what she chooses.

You hesitantly nod as you walk through the mall doors.

You give each other a small kiss. "Call if you need me, alright?" She sighs and gives you a small smile before turning the other direction. "I will!" she says over her shoulder.

You have no idea what to look for or where to go. You start walking and looking through the windows for something that sparks interest.

You came across a smaller little store on the left with some sort of Hawaiian name. You see some slacks and dress shirts and decide to go inside.

You and Jane were not going to wear full wedding attire, just something nice. You decided to wait for the fancy stuff at the ceremony you would hold at home.

You came across a pale blue short sleeve button up. She always loved that color on you. You pick it up and then find a gray pair of slacks and go to try it all on.

It looks decent enough. You think she would approve. You decide on this and change back into your clothes and go to check out.

Once finished you look at your phone, only 30 minutes had passed. You decide to make your way to the food court and call her once you got there.

It was going to be a long wait.

**JANE**

You've been into four stores, tried on at least ten dresses and still have found nothing.

Tom had called you from the food court over an hour ago.

You felt bad for taking so long and were starting to get pretty tired.

You were just wandering around now, searching for anything that may catch your eye.

You notice a little store ahead that has a few little dresses in front, you decide to look there before going to Tom and taking a break.

You walk in and it's a tiny little place, there's no more than 6 racks in the whole store and only two dressing rooms towards the back.

You see lot's of things you would love, but nothing that was right.

On the last rack you come across it. A knee length dress with capped sleeves. It was light pink lace with a white slip underneath. It was perfect. You grabbed your size and went straight to the dressing rooms.

You put it on and it fits like a glove. As if it were made for you. You've never felt so pretty. You spin in the mirror a few times, unable to control the little giggles that come out.

This was the dress.

The dress you would marry Tom in.

You change and go to pay and eagerly call Tom.

"Yes dear?" he answers.

"I found it. I will see you in just a few minutes."

You eagerly head towards the food court. If you weren't so excited you would probably run.

She sees him sitting at a table toward the left of the food court. Next to a soda stand.

You slide in next to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Grinning ear to ear. He smiled down at you. "Hello my love, find what you were looking for?"

"Yep. Did you?"

"I did. I hope it's to your liking."

You smirk and lay your head on his shoulder. "You'd look good if you wore footie pajamas. Whatever you picked will be perfect. Now, let's eat and go home cause I'm exhausted."


	11. Chapter 11

**TOM**

It was the day. The day of your wedding. The day you would promise the rest of your life to, Jane.

It was a gorgeous sunny day. It wasn't too hot, too cold, too windy. It was perfect.

You left early to decorate the gazebo to surprise Jane while she got ready.

You hung pink and white streamers and some twinkling lights, and some colorful hawaiian flowers.

You got your ipod and speakers setup too to play your song for your first dance.

It was almost sunset, it was getting close.

The minister had arrived a few moments after you had finished and came over to greet you.

"Hello Mr. Hiddleston. Nervous?"

You shake his hand and give him a smile and a nervous laugh. "Excited mostly."

Soon you see the car you had sent to pick up Jane pull up. Your heart started beating faster and faster. You wondered if the minister could hear it, it felt so strong.

The minister took a step back and readied himself for the ceremony.

You too took your place, waiting eagerly to see her.

The driver got out of the car and made his way to Janes door, opening it for her as she stepped out.

It felt as though you couldn't breathe.

She was stunning.

She made her way down the beach and toward the gazebo, holding her little bouquet of daisies and smiling wide.

You were holding back tears.

She got to the gazebo and you reached for her hand to help her up the few steps.

You turned to face each other and she looked up at you with tears in her eyes and a smile you'd never seen before.

You smiled down at her and then the minister spoke.

"We are gathered today to join you both, Tom and Jane, in holy matrimony. I understand you both have your own vows?"

Jane nods. "Yes we do."

She turns to look up at you, her eyes bright.

"Tom, I honestly never thought this day would happen for me. Everyone I'd ever met left when things got hard or scary, but you only got closer. You are the kindest person I've ever met. You care for me, you protect me, you make me laugh, you make me happy, you manage to put a smile to my face during the hardest times, you hold my hand when I need it, and are always with me no matter how hard things have been. Things may get rough, but as long as I have you it won't be so bad. You have saved me. You are my love and I am grateful for you each and everyday."

Tears began to fall down both of your faces now. She took the ring from the minister and placed it on your finger.

You squeeze her hands and take a deep breath.

"Jane, you are the strongest, bravest, kindest, most beautiful and inspiring woman I have ever met. I cannot express how much you truly mean to me. Each day I am surprised by your outlook and strength. Your ability to smile no matter how hard it is. I knew from the moment I met you that you were something special. I am going to be with you through everything. You are the love of my life."

She was smiling and trying not to full out cry, you squoze her hands again as you slid the ring on her small finger and you both turned to face the minister again.

"That was beautiful. Now Jane, do you take Tom to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"And Tom, do you take Jane to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

You both grin wide as the minister finishes. "I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride."

She stands on her tip toes and you lean down and pull her into a strong kiss. Her hands were on your face and she broke away giggling. You grin down at your wife and pull her into another kiss.

**JANE**

It was dark now, you and Tom had just thanked the minister and said goodbye. You were alone.

He pulled you in for another gentle kiss.

"May I have this dance Mrs. Hiddleston?" he said into your ear.

You swoon hearing your new name. "Of course."

He pulls away and goes to the edge of the gazebo railing to speakers and his ipod that you hadn't noticed. He pushes a button and all of a sudden you hear your song. 'The Way You Look Tonight' by Fred Astaire.

You feel more tears well up as Tom makes his way back over to you, placing a hand on the small of your back and pulling you close.

You take his hand and start to sway. Laying your head on his chest.

He leans down and kisses the top of your head. "Guess what?" he says quietly.

You look up to him. "What?"

A large boyish smile comes across his face. "We're married."

You chuckle at how adorable he was. "I know, darling."

You sway even after the song ends. You give a little cough and Tom pulls away to look down at you. "Are you getting tired, love?"

You don't want this night to end so you shake your head. "No no I'm alright. I want to stay just a little longer."

"Ok." and you continue to stay in each others arms. A breeze whips through the gazebo and you shutter.

"I don't suppose you brought a jacket did you, my penguin?"

You look up sheepishly. "No, I forgot."

He sighed and pulled back to unbutton his shirt and place it over your shoulders. Leaving him just his white tank top.

"Tom put this back on, I don't want you getting sick."

He grins and goes to start unhooking his ipod and the speakers. "I'm not a penguin, it's not that cold. Besides we're going to get going home."

You start making your way to the car, feeling the exhaustion from today set in.

Once you get in the car you fall asleep almost instantly.

You're aware of Tom lifting you from the car and carrying you in the house.

"Tom?" Your voice sounds almost like a whisper, still heavy with sleep.

"We're home now." He says as he takes you to the bedroom and sets you down.

"You go ahead and get changed out of your dress and I'll setup your feed, alright?"

You nod and head into the bathroom. You were tired, but you had one more surprise for Tom. You bought some very tasteful lingerie for the wedding night. Something that would surely surprise him. It wasn't like you at all. You were still self conscious about your g-tube and your thinness, but you had to admit, you felt sexy in this. You took a deep breath and then opened the door.

Tom was laying in bed in shorts and a t-shirt, he looked over and his eyes grew wide.

"Wow." was all he uttered as you made your way across the room.


	12. Chapter 12

_Authors Note: I apologize if after the ending of the last chapter anyone was expecting smut. _

**JANE**

Tom had just finished filming and tonight was the wrap party. Tom was so excited and pleased with how it all went, he had such a great time on set of this film.

You were in the bedroom getting ready for tonight. It was proving to be quite the task.

You have been hiding it as best you could from Tom, but this past week you'd felt really quite ill.

You had no energy, your breathing was more labored, no appetite, the list goes on.

It was his last week of filming and you didn't want him to worry, you were going home tomorrow anyways so you could go see Dr. S right away if needed.

You were sitting on the bathroom sink trying to steady your breathing after dressing and doing your hair. Suddenly Tom is at the door.

"Jane are you alright? You've been in there quite awhile now." He sounds nervous.

You take a deep breath and push off the counter, putting on your best brave face. "Yes sorry, I had a difficult time with the zipper on my dress. I'm ready now though."

He looks you up and down with a smile but still some slight concern in his eyes.

"You look gorgeous, but are you sure you're alright? You look a little pale."

You simply nod and step around him to grab your clutch. "Yeah I'm fine."

You arrive at the party, already exhausted and the night hadn't even begun. You walk with Tom as he introduces you and mingles. After a little while you feel a little weak in the knees. You start looking around for a place to sit. Once you do you tug on Toms sleeve gently to get his attention.

"I'm going to go over there and sit down for a bit. Is that alright?"

He turns from the man he was speaking with and puts a hand on your cheek. "Are you sue you're alright, love? Do you need to go home?"

You turn to kiss the palm of his hand before taking it from your cheek and holding it in yours. "Yes I'm just a little tired."

His lips form a straight line. "We will leave soon. Go rest."

You head over to the table and pull out a chair, practically falling into it.

You take slow deep breaths and lean back. Trying to relax.

You feel light headed and cold. You begin rubbing your arms for warmth.

Suddenly Tom is beside you wrapping his coat over your shoulders, it swallowing you.

He lends you his hand helping you out of your chair. You want to protest, but you're too tired.

He wraps an arm around your waist, leading you through the party saying goodbye as you head toward the car.

Once you're in the car he looks at you seriously. "Jane, what's the matter?"

You let out a sigh. "I haven't felt too well this past week. I'm sure it's nothing. I didn't want to worry you on your last week of work and we were going home soon anyways. I'm sorry, hun I can wait in the car for a bit if you still want to stay."

He shakes his head, a small laugh escaping his lips. "You are unbelievable. Both sweetly and foolishly. I care more about you then a few days of work or a party. Please do not keep things from me. I love you far too much to let you being sick ruin anything for me. I would much rather you be cared for than worry about a work schedule."

You nod and lean back in the seat. Pulling his coat around you tighter as he starts the car.

Suddenly you're aware of Tom carrying you into the house.

You open your eyes and look up to him as he sets you down on the bed. You just lay there, not wanting to change out of your dress until a chill runs through you and you shutter.

Tom goes to put a hand to your forehead, frowning as he takes his hand away.

"You feel rather warm, love. You get changed and I will be back with something for that fever."

You nod and stand on wobbly legs and head toward the suitcase with a set of sweats sitting right on top. You struggle to get the dress off, you have to head back to the bed and sit to catch your breath.

Tom comes in and sees you sitting on the bed with nothing but the zipper half undone and an arm out of one of the straps. He sets down the water and tylenol and kneels in front of you.

"Jane? What's wrong? Do you need help?"

You take a shaky breath and nod.

He helps you to your feet and helps you to remove the dress.

He brings over the sweatpants and sets them down for you to just step into and he pulls them up for you before slipping the sweatshirt over your head.

You feel a little dizzy, he grabs your waist and helps you back into bed. Giving you the water and tylenol before tucking you in tight.

He leaves to change his clothes and you're asleep before he returns.

**TOM**

It took all your self control not to take her to the hospital last night. But you knew she would fight it with everything she had so it wasn't worth it considering you would be home soon enough.

The second you woke up the next morning you checked her for a fever. It was still there and her breathing was still rather shallow. You leave the room and call Dr. S.

He instructs you to bring her in straight from the airport and that he would have a room ready for you.

You get the car loaded up and wake Jane up right before you have to go, gently shaking her shoulder. "Jane my love, it's time for us to go to the airport."

She looks up at you and nods before weakly kicking off the layers of blankets.

She goes to stand and you help her to steady herself. Once in the car you inform her of your conversation with Dr. S.

"I called Dr. S this morning and he wants you to come in immediately. A room will be ready when we arrive."

To your surprise she doesn't argue. A true testament to how sick she must feel. "Ok that's fine. After I'm settled though would you mind going home and getting a few of my usual things?"

"Of course, dear."

The rest of the drive was quiet.

She clearly struggled the whole way through the airport. Stopping to catch her breath and she was walking very slowly.

Once in your seats you ask the attendant for some water and you give her some more tylenol once you notice her shivers return.

She sleeps the whole flight while you watch her nervously.

Once you land you wake her and another struggle to get through another airport begins.

Finally you get a cab and make it to the hospital. Having no choice but to carry all of your luggage with you.

Once at the desk you ask if someone can come and help you upstairs so Jane can take a wheelchair.

A man comes around with a wheelchair and Jane goes straight to it. Another sign she's very sick.

You reach the room and she goes straight to the bed and lays back, taking deep and slow breaths.

You go and sit on the edge of the bed, taking her little hand in yours. "We're here Jane, it's all ok. Just rest."

Her nurse pops in and begins her usual assessment and you move across the room and out of her way.

She checks everything and then looks over to you nervously and then down to Jane.

"Looks like you waited too long to come in, sweetie. Your vitals are really off for you. I'm going to go tell Dr. S you're here and then I'll be right back."

Jane just nods and closes her eyes again. You move back over to sit beside her on the bed, stroking her hair. Looking at the monitors. The numbers were much different than usual.

Dr. S and the nurse were back quickly, the nurse had an oxygen tank and some tubing along with your mediport supplies. She began hooking things up while Dr. S came to stand on the other side of the bed, getting his stethoscope ready. "Jane can you sit up for me and take some deep breaths?"

She props herself up and starts taking shallow breaths. Dr. S moves the stethoscope around your back and chest, his expression is one you can't read. Once he's finished the nurse begins hooking Jane up to an oxygen cannula. She doesn't even protest.

Dr. S looks at the monitors a moment, studying the numbers before speaking to the nurse. "Let's try three liters please."

The nurse adjusts a nozzle on the tank and Dr. S and her look at the monitors as the numbers measuring your oxygen level raised. You look down at Jane and already she seems more comfortable.

You hear something wheeling down the hall and it stops at the doorway. The woman pushing it steps in and looks at the nurse. "Chest x-ray?" She nods and the woman wheels the machine in.

"Hi Jane, I'm from x-ray and I'm gonna take a few quick pictures ok?"

"Ok." Jane squeaks as the woman presses a few buttons and slips a thin black square behind her back. You step back with Dr. S and wait for the woman to be done.

Once it's over Dr. S goes over to look at the x-rays on the screen. He studies them for a moment and you step over to look with him. In the meantime the nurse decides to quickly access Janes port.

Once Dr. S is done the woman leaves and you return to sit next to Jane who is already being hooked up to IV's.

"Well Jane, you have pneumonia in both lungs. A pretty good case by the looks of it. This is gonna take awhile to get over."

You feel your stomach flip. Pneumonia? How does that happen so quickly? She's felt ill for a week, but surely that's not long enough for pneumonia in both lungs?

You look to Jane who doesn't show much emotion. Just exhaustion.

"Ok, so what are we going to do?" She asks.

"Lot's and lot's of antibiotics, therapies, and rest. The oxygen will help you to feel more comfortable and be able to rest. We'll be giving you things for your fever around the clock to keep that under control also. Are you in any pain?"

She nods a little. "My chest hurts a little and I'm pretty achy."

"That's from the fever. I will write for some pain control, too. Anything else you want to know or that I should know?"

You pipe up with a few concerns. "How long will she be feeling this ill? And what about any long term damage to her lungs?"

"Unfortunately that is all a waiting game. Everyone's different so I don't know how long it will take Jane to start feeling better and I don't know the extent of the damage it will cause. Double pneumonia is very serious but there is no way to stop it from happening. Even if she would have gone to a hospital last week she would have had double pneumonia, she just wouldn't have felt this ill. Now she definitely should have gone, and it may have been stopped before it could make her have these side effects, but pneumonia is a very tricky thing so it's hard to say how things will ever play out."

You just nod and look back to Jane who had fallen asleep, a shiver running through her. The nurse leaves, probably to get more blankets and tylenol.

"I will come by before I leave for the day. Until then both of you get some rest."

"Thank you."

He leaves and the nurse returns, laying another blanket across Jane who snuggles right into it. You gently give her shoulder a shake. "Love, you need to sit up to take your medicine." She does so and then slips right back into her pile of blankets.

The nurse leaves and closes the door, giving you instructions to call if you notice anything strange or need anything.

Jane scoots over away from you a bit and then pulls a hand out from under the covers to pat the space next to her.

"Can you hold me, Tom?"

You crawl right in beside her, carefully pulling her close so you don't disrupt any of her extra tubing and trying not to harm her since she said she was sore.

She curls into your chest with another slight shutter.

You wrap your arms around her tighter and kiss the top of her head.

"I love you." She mumbles into your chest.

"I love you more." You whisper.


	13. Chapter 13

**TOM**

It's day ten in the hospital and Jane was improving a little quicker than expected.

Her fevers were gone along with some of her fatigue and she was able to walk around more each day.

She was still on one liter of oxygen, but Dr. S was still very impressed with her progress. He still wants her to stay awhile longer to keep a watchful eye on her, but she should be home within two more weeks.

Jane had yet to do a pulmonary function test since she'd been admitted due to how week and feverish she was so you and her were on your way down to the lab.

You wheeled her oxygen tank and kept with her slow, but steady pace.

"So what are you betting my numbers are? Think I'll shock Dr. S more and blow a %75?" She looked up at you grinning.

You look down at her sweet face. Still pale, still hints of exhaustion. "I do hope so, love."

You turn the corner and walk into the lab. She sits in a chair with a junky cough as you tell the woman at the desk she was here.

Soon you're taken into a little room with the equipment for the test.

They entered Jane's height and weight into the computer and took her oxygen levels before handing her the device to breathe into.

PFT's were no easy task.

She was instructed to put on nose clips and then breathe through the device normally.

Then they instruct her to take a deep breath and blow it out as quickly as she can and she must blow out the entire contents of her lungs and continue to do so for five seconds.

It may sound easy, but it's actually quite difficult.

She struggles and shakes each time, pushing harder and harder to try and get good numbers. She often has to re-do the test at least once due to it causing her to cough rather hard.

This time she seemed to be struggling a bit more. Having to take a break in between to catch her breath. You were quietly wondering if she'd be willing to take a wheelchair upstairs.

Once the test was finished the man doing the test was printing out her results.

"So what was my best number?" She asked a little breathlessly.

"FEV1, overall lung function, is %47."

You felt as if the world just dropped from beneath you. Surely he must be mistaken. %47 lung function? Just less than half? You look to Jane who was clearly holding back tears. You walk over to her while the man finishes getting your results, taking her hand.

"You still have pneumonia, Jane. They will go up." She nods but you're not sure she's actually listening.

You turn to the gentleman and ask for a wheelchair and he leaves and brings one back quickly. Jane doesn't protest.

She sits in the chair and thanks the man, taking her test results in her lap.

You push her and her tank upstairs. Quietly.

"Well, I said I was gonna shock him." She says dryly.

"Jane, they will go up. You have to give yourself some slack, love. You had severe pneumonia. You're still on the up and up."

You return to the room and she gets into bed and curls up under the covers, clearly tired from the walking and testing.

You kiss her forehead as you pull your chair up next to her bed.

You pull out your book and open it to the chapter where you'd left off when you feel a hand on your wrist. You turn to see Jane looking at you from her pillows. You thought she was already asleep.

"What is it, dear?"

"Tom, we need to talk."

**JANE**

This morning was a wake up call. You and Tom had to have this discussion, and you wanted to get to him before Dr. S.

"About what?" He said, concern written all over her face.

"About what's going to happen in the future."

You scoot up in bed and he sets down his book and turns his chair towards you, taking both your hands in his.

You take a deep breath before going on.

"Tom, do you know when they start discussing lung transplant?"

He stares for a moment before shaking his head.

"They start discussing and going through the process once you get close to %30. They list you once you get to %30 or below."

"But darling I told you, they're going to go-" You interrupt him.

"But one day they won't. And that day might be sooner than we thought. We don't know what damage this pneumonia has done. What if my normal is no longer %60 to %70? What if it's %50 to %60? That's still ten points closer."

Your words were hitting him like knives, but this had to be discussed.

"I am going to be with you through all of it. No matter how soon, or far off that is."

You sucked in another breath, determined not to cry.

"I feel so badly for you, Tom. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to deal with things like this. You should be with a wife who isn't sick but who is working and taking care of children. Have you even thought about children? Or the fact I probably can't get pregnant, and if I did I may not survive the birth?"

His eyes went wide and his hands went to your cheeks. Wiping away the tears that you couldn't hold back.

"Jane, I love you more dearly than anything. You are the only wife I want, or will ever want. How often must I tell you this? Yes I have thought about children. We can always adopt."

"I can't be a mother now. I can hardly take care of myself anymore. You can't care for me and a child. And what if you're left a single parent!" You were practically sobbing now.

"Shhhh shhhh. We wait until after your healthy and well to think about adoption. And I don't want to hear you talk about that."

"Tom, transplant is not a cure. It's trading one disease for another. There's still rejection, a list a thousand miles long of complications, and things I don't even know about yet. Not to mention, what if I never get the call?"

He pulls you close and squeezes you tightly. Rubbing your back and kissing your head.

"I know, love. I know. But right now I need you to try and push these worries to the side, they are only going to make you worse right now. You need rest. I know there's alot of things in the future. I know it's possibly sneaking up on us. But I also know that you are the strongest person I know, and that I am going to be holding your hand the whole way. No matter what."

You nod into his chest, trying to regain control of our breathing.

"I'm sorry, I-I'm sorry.. I'm just scared." You squeak.

He pulls you back and looks into your eyes. "I'm scared too, love. But we will take whatever comes together. Alright?"

You nod, leaning back into his chest.

He holds you like that for awhile.

Before you know it you've fallen asleep.

**TOM**

You had left Jane tucked in and sound asleep, needing to take a walk and clear your head.

You weren't in denial about all those things she was saying, you just hadn't particularly kept them in mind.

You go and sit on a bench in the hospital garden, taking deep breaths and trying to calm yourself down.

What if she did need a transplant? What if she didn't get it in time? What if there complications? Or what if you do adopt a child and she suffers rejection? Could you take care of them both and support your family? What if you were left a single father?

You feel yourself start to panic and you put your head between your knees.

This is not what she needs right now. She needs you to be there for her, hold her hand, tell her it will be ok. It will be.

After sitting in the park awhile you realize you should probably go back in case she's woken up.

You stop in the gift shop buying her some pink roses and a stuffed penguin.

You return to her room and her respiratory therapist was just leaving.

"Hello my penguin." You say walking over and kissing her cheek. Setting her flowers by the window and the penguin on her bed.

She smiles wide. "You're not just a hot giraffe, you're sweet too."

You go and sit at the foot of her bed, laying a hand on her knee. "Sorry you woke up alone, I went for a walk."

She just nodded. Knowing why you left.

"It's ok. So what are we going to do tonight?"

You raise an eyebrow at her. "Uuhh well, what did you have in mind?"

She giggles before continuing. "How about we order some pizza to avoid the weekend cafeteria leftovers and play some cards and watch a scary movie? Something fun!"

You grin at her. No matter how poorly she felt she was always trying to keep you happy. "That sounds perfect."

You had ordered her favorite veggie pizza and went around the corner to the Walgreens to find a deck of cards and a scary movie.

You bought The Ring and a deck of cards with kittens on them and some of your favorite candies and headed back to find a sleeping Jane.

You didn't bother to wake her until the pizza had arrived.

You at pizza and played cards, you insisted she was cheating but she denied it saying you were just horrible at cards.

You laughed and played until her final treatment was over and her nurse had setup her feeds and IV's before turning down the lights, grabbing the candy and crawling into bed with her to watch your movie.

She snuggled into you, under her layer of blankets. You were careful not to pull or lay on any of her tubes.

"So how scary is this one going to be?" She asked, grabbing her new stuffed penguin and holding it to herself tightly.

"You're such a scaredy cat." You pick on her. She really was. She hated scary movies, but she had been trying to get a little used to them ever since you told her about Crimson Peak.

She smacked your chest weakly, but it still stung a bit.

You started the movie and not even five minutes in she was jumping and covering her eyes. Nothing had even really happened yet. She started her usual talking to herself. Something she did every time she watched a scary movie.

"Why would you watch the tape? Seriously? People are so stupid! Just eject it, run it over, and take the kid and bolt!"

You can't help but laugh and she gives you another light smack.

When it's over you look down at her, as she clutches the blankets to her chin.

"Are you going to be able to sleep tonight?" You say somewhat sarcastically.

"If you lay here and protect me." She says wrapping her arms around your waist.

You kiss the top of her head and slip your feet under one layer of covers and press the button on the bed to lay it down more.

She snuggles in against your chest and you wrap your arms around her.

"Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight." She mumbles already asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**TOM**

Jane had been released from the hospital after a three week admission.

She had gotten her lung function back up to %55 which had put her mind at ease.

She still needed quite a bit of rest, but Dr. S was comfortable sending her home, as long she came to clinic once a week for a month or so to ensure she was still healing properly.

She was sitting on the corner of the couch looking out the window, while you were reading a new script that had come your way.

"Tom, it's so lovely outside, why don't we do something fun? Maybe Ben and Sophie would want to go for a little picnic? Sophie said they were in town for a bit and wanted to get together." She says eagerly, getting up and crossing over towards you and sitting on your lap.

You kiss her cheek. "Are you sure you're up for something like that?"

She rolls her eyes. "Tom, it's a picnic. I think I can manage sitting on a blanket in a park and eating a sandwich."

You sigh and look at her a moment. You understood her desire to get back to normal life. And it truly was a beautiful day. You were probably just being paranoid, she would be fine for a picnic.

"You go call Sophie, I'll start making up something to eat." She grins widely and kisses your forehead before leaving your lap and going to her phone to call Sophie.

You make your way to the kitchen to make up some sandwiches and pack some chips and cookies.

You get out the peanut butter and jelly and Jane skips down the hallway and back into the kitchen.

"They said they will meet us at Bakers Park in a half hour!" You smile at her excitement.

She comes to the counter to start helping make up lunch. Once that's done she goes to change into a sundress while you find a blanket to bring.

She comes out in a little mint sundress that goes to her knees, a white cardigan pulled over her bare arms.

"You look very pretty. Ready to go?"

She nods and takes your hand as you carry the basket and blanket to the car.

Once there you see Ben and Sophie already searching out the perfect spot. They see you pull up and Sophie hurries to the car, enveloping Jane in a hug.

Sophie and Jane were just as close as you and Ben. You really missed being just down the street from each other.

Ben came over and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. "Good to see you, Tom!"

"You too, Ben! And Sophie dear, how are you?" You make your way to Sophie and give her a kiss on the cheek, Ben does the same to Jane.

"I'm very well thanks. So are we ready to picnic?" Sophie says.

"We spotted a lovely spot here under this tree." Ben says leading the way.

Jane is practically giddy. She pauses a moment to close her eyes and just feel the breeze, you wait a moment for her to catch up. Watching her and smiling.

You make your way under the tree on top of a small hill, you lay out a blanket and Sophie and Jane start getting lunch out of the basket.

Jane and Sophie talk girl things and you and Ben talk movie roles coming up and projects you'd just finished.

After lunch you leaned against the tree and Jane lay inbetween your legs, laying her head on your chest. Ben and Sophie sat across from you, her leaning against Ben and his arms wrapped around her, resting on her stomach.

"So, we have a bit of news to share. We haven't told anyone yet as we want you two to be the first to know." Ben says with a huge grin.

Jane sits up from your chest and you from the tree.

"I'm pregnant!" Sophie practically shouts.

You feel joy rush through you, but look quickly to Jane to see if she was alright. You knew she would be overjoyed for them, but given the conversation you had not even two weeks ago, this was a sore subject.

She didn't even hesitate before leaning forward and grabbing them both in a hug. You lean forward and join in.

"Oh my goodness! I'm so happy for you both! You're going to be such wonderful parents!" She squeals.

You lean back and grab Ben's shoulder. "If it's a boy surely you'll be naming him Thomas?"

He rolls his eyes and gives a laugh.

Jane and Sophie start discussing baby things and how she's feeling, while Ben whispers to you how nervous he is.

"I can't even say pengwing, how am I supposed to raise a child and teach it right?" He mumbles to you.

You hold back a laugh and turn to reassure him. "Ben, you're going to be a great father. It's scary I'll give you that, but it will all just kick in once the little one arrives. Plus Uncle Tom can fix whatever you screw up."

He elbows you in the ribs and you both just sit back and watch the girls.

After all the excitement Jane returns to you and leans against you, laying her head on your chest again. You notice her wearing out, you had been out for a few hours now.

"Are you tired, love? Would you like to go home?" Ben and Sophie look to you both, waiting for her answer.

"No no, I want to stay a bit longer.." She says quietly.

Not even five minutes later she is sound asleep in your lap.

Sophie looks to you, a little worry on her face. "Tom, how is she really? She always downplays things with me."

"We're still waiting to see just how much damage the pneumonia has caused. She had a pretty rough go. She's concerned about the future. Things like children and a possible double lung transplant. She's hanging in there though. She's a tough one." You say looking down at her and stroking her hair.

Ben speaks up now. "Children? Oh God that never even occurred to us, we shouldn't have said anything. So sorry."

"Ben are you utterly insane? We are so excited and happy for you! Nothing to apologize for. We've discussed options, but for now things are just at a bit of a stand still. We will be fine. The most important thing right now is her health and doing what's best for her."

They both nod. "Maybe we should get going? She looks like she could use some rest." Sophie says.

You nod and Ben begins to clean up the picnic, you stand with Jane in your arms, she doesn't even stir. Sophie folds up the blanket and they walk with you back to the car.

You set Jane down in the seat and her eyes flutter open. "What's going on?" She whispers.

"You fell asleep, love. We're going home now."

She nods and Ben and Sophie come around to give her a hug.

"We are in town these next few weeks so we will spend lots of time together before we leave!" Sophie reassured Jane.

Ben came and hugged you goodbye. "If you need anything just let us know, ok?"

You nod. "Thank you Ben. I will. And you, too. We'll see you soon. And congrats again."

You hop in the car and Jane is back asleep before you make it home.

**JANE**

It was your first appointment since being home and you had to admit, you were pretty nervous.

You still felt better compared to a few weeks ago, but still not back to normal.

You were waiting to be called back for your lung function test, Tom sensed your nerves and squeezed your hand.

"Darling, it's going to be ok." He smiles at you.

You nod and then a man comes around the corner and calls you back.

Your weight was up a pound which got you excited, however your oxygen levels were only %94.

Probably just your cold hands you think optimistically.

You put on the nose clips and start your normal breathing into the machine.

"Ok, now deep breath and blast it out!" The man says.

You suck in a deep breath and blow out as fast as you can. So hard and fast you shake.

It always left an ache in your chest.

You break inbetween to cough and catch your breath, Tom watches from the chair across the room. He seemed nervous.

You repeat this two more times before the man prints out your results.

"So what's the magic number?" You ask.

"%50."

You felt your stomach swirl but you tried to relax. It's only down by %5, that's not horrible.

You take the papers and thank the man who performed the test and then Tom takes your hand in his as you walk to your appointment with Dr. S.

Tom is quiet beside you.

You get to his office and sit on the little bed with the familiar crunchy paper. Tom takes a seat beside you in a chair.

"Maybe you just need some more antibiotics." He says hopefully.

You grin at him, speaking softly. "Yeah, maybe."

Then you hear a tap on the door before it creaks open.

"Hello Jane and Tom. How are we today?" Dr. S says cheerfully, taking a seat at the small desk with a computer.

"I am about the same. Still kinda tired and weak and sometimes just overall blah. But my appetite is getting better."

He nods and takes a look at the results on the desk. He studies them a moment, his mouth twists into a slight grimace.

"Hmmm... Well, these aren't the numbers I was hoping for. How is your cough? Do you get any shortness of breath or tightness?"

You shrug. "My cough is about the same too I think-" you look to Tom to confirm before continuing. He nods. "I mean, I don't notice any shortness of breath or tightness really. I haven't done anything other than our usual activities though."

He nods and rubs his chin before standing up and crossing over to you, readying his stethoscope. "Deep breaths."

You take deep breaths as he moves his stethoscope around your back, chest, and sides. Tom watches carefully. A hint of anxiousness in his eyes.

He finishes and hangs the scope back around his neck.

"Well, you don't sound any different. I feel like more antibiotics may be the answer. Now, I know you were cooped up here for three weeks, so would you and Tom like a crash course on IV's so you can run them at home? It would mostly be Tom's responsibility because I still want you getting a great deal of rest."

You look to Tom, and him to you. His eyes slightly wide.

"What do you think? If you don't I understand. It's alot of work." You say to Tom.

"I want to do whatever I can to help. Let's take the course." He says confidently.

Dr. S smiles and then stands and heads towards the door. "Great! I think this will work well. Now I'm going to go and start writing the orders for supplies and antibiotics and I'll send Mindy in to access your mediport and teach you and Tom some things. I will write for a Home Health Nurse to come each day to check on things too. And I will see you next week, alright?"

You nod and thank him. Once he's gone Tom comes and sits next to you on the crinkly paper.

"I told you it was probably just more antibiotics. Just call me Dr. Tom." He grins cheekily.

You roll your eyes just before the nurse Mindy comes in.

"Hi guys, I'm Mindy and I'm gonna teach you a few things to take care of at home. The Home Health Nurse will teach you about running the actual antibiotics as I don't have that supplies handy."

"Hello Mindy," Tom says as she starts setting things up to access your mediport. Once she's finished you lay back and pull your shirt down as far as it goes so she can get to your mediport properly. That all goes smoothly and then she covers it with dressing.

Before flushing it with saline and heparin she tells Tom to put on some gloves so he can do it.

"Ok, so I want you to take that alcohol swab and wipe off the cap of both her port tube, and the saline syringe."

He nods and does so carefully.

"Ok, now connect the two and push the saline in slowly. Once that's done do the same, but with the blue syringe. That's the heparin, that locks it off for a few hours so that her line doesn't close up."

He does a great job, not showing any hint of uneasiness.

She tells you a few more things about making sure to clean the caps before administering and antibiotics, saline, or heparin and a few things to watch for and if I experience any of those symptoms to come in right away.

We head home and then our Home Health Nurse, Rachel, shows up with the antibiotics, syringe pump, and all the other supplies.

She was very sweet and very patient as Tom and I asked questions and double checked certain things while she taught us both, mostly Tom though as I was supposed to try and rest as much as possible still, how to setup and run IV's.

Right here in the living room. It was a strange feeling. We attached the syringe pump to my pole with my g-tube pump and set up an area on the dining room table for all my new supplies, an antibiotic chart with the times and steps hanging on the fridge.

I felt so happy not to be stuck in the hospital again, but sick at the same time as our home was turning into my own personal hospital.

And Tom was almost my new nurse.

You tried to push these feelings down, laying down and closing your eyes as Tom and Rachel talked about a few more questions he had.

She left her work cell and made sure things were running smooth before she left. Assuring that she would be back tomorrow at the same time. She had stayed for around two hours.

Tom came and sat beside you on the couch, pulling your afghan over you.

You look up and smile.

"I love you."

He grins and leans to kiss your forehead.

"I love you too, darling. So I have a question."

You sit up and adjust so that you're leaning on his shoulder. "Mmmm?"

"Am I a nurse, or am I veterinarian of some sort? Is there a certain word for a penguin nurse?" You hear him chuckle before he finishes his sentence.

You sit up and look at him with a smirk. "How long have you been waiting to crack that joke now?"

"About thirty minutes. I didn't want to say it in front of the nurse, she would probably think me terrible since she wouldn't get the penguin thing." He grins and giggles to himself again.

You laugh at the thought of him calling himself a vet while caring for his sick wife in front of a stranger. Suddenly feeling better about the situation. If you had to do this, you were grateful it was with Tom.

"Thank you for making this easier on me. For making me laugh. I was just feeling bummed out about our home being turned into my own personal hospital and my husband my new nurse, and then you go and call yourself a vet and make me forget."

He kisses you gently.

"Laughter is the best medicine, love."

_Authors note: I know you hate this, but I swear it's going somewhere, and it's not all bad! Just trying to keep realistic to the disease. But hey, making you be so worried for her means I'm doing a good job, right? And I realize my timeline is off as far as movie roles I've mentioned and now Ben and Sophies pregnancy, but it's a fictional story so now it has a fictional timeline. Sorry if that makes anyone frustrated. Another thank you to all those who read!  
_


	15. Chapter 15

**TOM**

It was now week two on IV's and being Nurse Tom.

Her Lung Function had gone up %2 at last weeks appointment, but Dr. S wanted to see if another week would get it up even more.

It was Ben and Sophie's last night before they returned to London and Jane and Sophie had some plans for this evening. They weren't their original plans since Jane had to stay home for IV's, but they were still rather excited.

Jane spent the day baking a goodbye cake while I was tidying up the place a bit.

I heard her from the kitchen. "So while the cake is cooling, Sophie and I are going to make a quick run to the store for a few things for tonight. Is that alright?"

You and Ben were completely in the dark about this evenings happenings.

"Yeah that's fine. What for?" I ask raising my brow.

She walked to the den and stood on her tip toes for a kiss. "You boys will find out soon enough."

You heard a car beep from the driveway.

"That's Sophie, I'll be back before my next antibiotic. Love you!"

"Love you, too. Have fun."

Once she left you called Ben to try and figure out what was in store.

"Hello?"

"Ben, do you have any idea what the girls are up to?"

"Not a clue. It's starting to make me nervous."

"Me too. The original plan was just fancy dinner and a movie. What could they have come up with instead?"

"Well whatever it is, it's a secret for some strange reason."

"Hmmm... Well, I suppose we'll find out soon enough. I'll see you at 7."

"See you then."

**JANE  
**

"So, where should we start first? Games or pajama's?"

Sophie giggled a bit. "Let's find some jammies first. I've been dying to pick some out since we thought of this plan!"

You and Sophie have always wanted to have a good old fashioned slumber party, but were never given the opportunity. You both couldn't figure out what to do for her and Ben's last night here. Something that would be lots of fun.

You both suggested game night, but you wanted to do something a little more. You decided a group slumber party. You would order pizza from her and Ben's favorite place, you would play games and make a big spot on the floor with pillows and blankets. The whole thing. Even picking out ridiculous pajama's for everyone.

It was decided to keep it secret that way they couldn't think of a way out.

You reach the men's pajama section and go straight for the footie pajama's.

Sophie get's your attention. "Jane! I found one for Tom!"

You look over and she's holding a Thor onesie. It's black and covered in the hammer and says 'God Of Thunder' all over it.

"Oh my gosh, Sophie that's perfect!"

"They have all the Avengers! Oh Jane, we have to get Avengers jammies!"

Sophie picks Hulk for Ben, and she takes Captain America since the only small left was for Iron Man.

It would still be huge on you, but you didn't care.

You head to the crafts section and get a jumbo drawing pad and sharpies for Pictionary and then go to the games and grab Apples to Apples. You two had already made up charades cards.

"Is that about it?"

You nod and head to the register and check out.

"They're either going to have as much fun as we are, or they're going to want to kill us." You giggle nervously.

Sophie drops you back off at home and leaves with her and Ben's pajama's.

You walk in and find Tom setting up your next IV.

"Hello darling, have a successful trip?"

You nod and head to the bedroom to put the things away before he could see.

You come back out and start getting things ready to ice the cake, when Tom wraps his arms around your waste.

"What is with all the secrecy? Are we doing something illegal tonight? Robbing a bank perhaps? Did you two go and purchase ski masks and ropes?"

You roll your eyes and turn to look up at him.

"It's a surprise. You'll find out soon enough though. I promise no one will be arrested tonight."

He sighs and kisses the top of your head before he leaves you to ice the cake.

Once you're finished he hooks you up to your IV and you rest on the couch for a bit. Dozing off.

"Jane? It's six o'clock, love. They will be here soon."

You shoot up. "What?! Oh gosh, ok. Um, can you go and get all the blankets and pillows?"

He looks at you as if you'd spoken another language. "What on earth could we need all those for? Are we building a fort?"

"Ok, here's what we're doing, we are going to have a big sleepover. Games, pizza, cake, and maybe a movie before bed."

He looks just as confused. "Are we really? This should be interesting." He giggles and then hops out of the room to go and get what you'd asked.

You go to move the coffee table, but stop yourself realizing Tom would throw a fit if you'd moved that.

He comes back and you ask him to move things accordingly and you go fetch the games and get those setup.

Once done you help Tom make the floor into a big cozy bed.

"Alright, what next?"

You grin and grab his hand and walk him to the bedroom. You leave him at the door and tell him to cover his eyes.

He does so and you go and get his onesie out of the store bag.

"Open!" You say holding his pajama's out in front of him with a big grin.

He shakes his head and laughs while he walks over to you.

"You are so crazy sometimes. I really must love you."

He gives you a kiss and takes his pajamas.

"Well, we can match!" You say pulling out your Iron Man onesie.

"Oh my goodness are we having an Avengers sleepover?!"

You nod with a goofy smile and he shakes his head laughing again.

You get changed and you take his picture while he poses so you can send it to Chris.

You roll up the sleeves and pant legs so they don't seem so large.

"I'm going to have a hard time looking at Robert now... My wife dressed as Iron Man is rather sexy."

You giggle and go to give him a kiss when Ben and Sophie open the door and shout.

"Knock knock!"

Tom turns to leave and rushes down the hall.

"I am Thor, son of Odin!"

You follow up behind him and see Ben posing like he was a giant.

"Hulk SMASH!"

You and Sophie look at each other from across the room and laugh.

This was going to be a very good night.

_Authors note: Sorry it took me longer than usual to update, and sorry it's a bit shorter than usual. I hope you enjoy and I should be back to more frequent updates! Thanks again!_


	16. Chapter 16

**JANE  
**While the boys goofed off in their superhero outfits, Sophie ordered pizza and finished setting up our first game, Pictionary.

"How did Ben react to the slumber party idea?" I asked her.

She shrugged. "He just rolled his eyes, he thought I was making stuff up to avoid telling him the truth. Then pulled out his jammies and he laughed."

I giggled. "Yeah, Tom just laughed. It seems like they're going to have a fine time though."

You both looked over to them, who were still wrestling a bit, but calmed it down.

Once the pizza arrived we all grabbed what we wanted and sat on our big bed on the floor in the den.

"So how did you girls come up with this idea?" Ben said inbetween bites of his pizza.

Sophie took the question since I was still chewing. "Well, we have wanted to have a slumber party for awhile now. And since we're going back to London, and then we'll have a baby, we realized now might be our only shot and we didn't want to miss it or leave you boys out. So we came up with this."

Tom and Ben nodded.

"I think it was a great plan." Tom added.

Soon we finish our pizza and get started on our first game.

We decided to do a round of girls against boys and then a round of couples.

Sophie and I slaughtered the boys in round one of Pictionary. It was almost pathetic.

"Ben, how could you not see that this is very clearly a manatee?"

"A marine biologist, you are not. That looks nothing like a manatee!"

We sat back and laughed as they bickered.

Round two was a closer game. Tom really was not the best drawer in the world, so I sympathized with Ben's arguments.

Ben however, was a horrible guesser. So we were pretty evenly matched.

"A pug! A ewok! A...A...old man?! Gollum?!"

"Time."

"For goodness sake Ben, it's a bear!"

Tom giggled as he approached the board. Picking a card and sighing.

"Tom dear, what the hell is that? Oh! Ummm... Oh! Is that a genie's lamp?!"

"YES!"

He ran over and high fived me.

Ben flopped back on some pillows.

"I'd say it's rigged, but I helped set up. Close game though. How you see that as a genie's lamp, I'll never know."

I giggled and looked at the time.

"Ok, can you and move some of this out of the way for charades? I have to start an IV."

They both get up and start taking down the easels, Tom and I go to start setting up my antibiotic.

"So are you having fun?"

"Love, I am having a blast. This really was a very good idea. And these pajamas are the most comfortable thing I've ever had the pleasure of wearing."

You laughed and he pulled you in for a quick kiss.

"I'm glad you're both enjoying yourselves. I was a little worried."

"Nonsense, as long as we're all together we'd have fun. Nothing to worry about there. Are you still up for more games? You look a little tired."

You shake your head. "I'm fine. Now let's go kick their butts in charades!"

"We heard that!" Ben shouts from the den.

Tom and you chuckle as he finishes hooking you up and then he helps you roll your pole into den.

**TOM**

You all were having such a fun time.

Your game of charades was a tie, Jane did surprisingly well considering she was attached to her IV pole.

After charades Jane had decided it was time to surprise Ben and Sophie with the cake she made.

She shuffled to the kitchen, pole in tow, and pulled out a cake.

I began gathering plates and forks while they thanked Jane.

"Oh Jane! It's beautiful! Thank you so much!"

"Thank you, dear. It looks delicious."

Once you had served everyone their cake, we headed back to our big makeshift bed on the floor.

Jane spoke up first.

"So do you guys want to watch a movie after cake?"

Ben nods. "Yeah, but no chick flicks. We're already having a sleepover in footie pajamas."

Sophie and Jane giggled before Sophie answered. "Fair enough, you Tom pick the movie."

I said the first film to come to mind. "How about we all watch Heat?"

Jane muffles a laugh, you always wanted to watch that movie. It was your all-time favorite, you never tired of it.

Ben and Sophie nod.

"Yeah that's a good one. Nice choice."

Once finished Ben set up the movie, Sophie took the dishes to the kitchen and covered the cake, while I unhooked Jane from her antibiotic.

"I'm skipping my feed tonight, too. I don't anyone getting tangled in tubes or something. Plus how would that work while I'm wearing these jammies?"

You agreed, although you hated when she skipped feeds. She needed every calorie she could get. But one night wouldn't hurt.

"Are you sure you're ok to stay up for a movie?"

She nods. "Yeah, besides don't you think you quoting the movie will keep up?"

You stick your tongue out at her. She knew you too well.

"Movie's all ready." Ben said from the den.

Sophie walked by. "I put the cake in the cake saver and just left in on the counter. Is that alright?"

Jane nods. "Yes. Thank you. We're almost done."

Sophie continues to the den, plopping the floor and snuggled into Ben's side.

You and Jane walk over and sit, she leans into your chest with a slight shiver. You pull another blanket over just her, and whisper in her ear.

"Just get some rest penguin, I can see you're tired."

She didn't answer, she just leaned into you more.

At one point, during the diner scene, you had noticed that she hadn't giggled you mumbled the entire scene.

You look down and see a sleeping Jane. You pull the blankets up and kiss the top of her head.

You look over and see Ben spooning a sleeping Sophie.

You both just look at each other a moment and smile before turning back to the movie.

_Authors note: I'm sorry it's another shorty! I've still been pretty busy, but I promise regular sized chapters and more frequent updates are coming back!_


	17. Chapter 17

**JANE**

Ben and Sophie have been gone about a month now, and you've been off of your IV's for two weeks.

Already you were feeling run down. Having to take frequent breaks, even just during everyday tasks, taking lots of naps and asking Tom to do more for you. And a dull ache in your chest has started.

You were laying on the couch, your head in Toms lap. He was stroking your hair while you both watched Beauty And The Beast. One of your favorite things to do was watch old Disney movies with each other.

"Hey Tom?"

"Yes my love?"

"I've been thinking, I should go in the hospital in the next week. I haven't felt well at all and I want to go before it gets out of hand."

"I agree."

"But, when I get home... I had an idea."

"Oh? And what is that?"

"We should go to London. I miss Ben and Sophie and we still never went after our anniversary cancellation."

"Mmmmm. That's true. Well, I don't have any kind of promotions or anything for awhile yet. As long as Dr. S okays it and you feel well, I'd love to go. I do miss it, and Ben and Sophie of course."

You turn and sit up to give him a kiss.

"Yay!"

He giggles at you and gives you another kiss. This time longer and stronger.

His hands slide up and down your back, you're breathing gets heavier and heavier.

You quickly sit up and turn away with a thick cough.

He rubs little circles on your back and waits for you to finish.

The coughing stops and you struggle a bit to catch your breath.

"Well that sure killed the mood, eh? Nothing says sexy quite like mucus."

He laughs and kisses your cheek.

"I love you."

Once you get control of your breathing he swoops you up and carries you to the bedroom. Ready to pick up where you left off.

**TOM**

You were packing for Jane's hospital admission that was scheduled for this afternoon while she napped.

She had started packing but you came in to find her asleep amongst her suitcase and scattered pairs of pajama pants.

You tucked her in and got to work.

It was hard to watch her be this exhausted from normal tasks. Shopping of any kind was proving to be most frustrating for her as she couldn't walk for long periods of time without struggling to breathe or needing to rest.

You were curious how she planned to walk around London. Perhaps she would agree to a wheelchair. You weren't counting on it though.

You finished packing and went to make her some lunch before you both hit the road.

Just as you were finishing you hear her tiny footsteps from down the hall.

"Well hello there sleeping beauty."

She wraps a sweater tightly around herself. She looked like she may have a fever.

"I'm sorry, honey."

"Quite alright, love. Here, sit down, I made some lunch. Everything is packed so once we finish eating we'll head out."

She nods and takes a bite of her sandwich.

"Thank you. For everything. You're too good to me."

"Darling, nothing is too good for you."

The rest of the meal was quiet and then Jane went to double check her suitcase to make sure she had everything she needed.

"Ok, load er' up and let's go."

You go and grab the suitcase and load up the car. You open Jane's door and let her in before heading to your side of the car to drive.

You look over and she has her head back against the seat and her eyes shut. Taking slow and steady breaths. She looked terribly pale.

"Jane? Are you alright?"

She nods weakly but you didn't buy it. You decide instead of asking again to just head towards the hospital.

Halfway there you notice Jane has fallen asleep, it wasn't a far car ride. Only about forty minutes or so.

Once you arrive you gently shake Jane's shoulder.

She stirs a bit and then turns to you, eyes still heavy with sleep.

"I'm sorry Jane, but we're here."

She nods and turns to get out of the car.

You grab her suitcase and then wrap an arm around her waist as she looked a bit unsteady.

You check in at the counter for her room number and then head upstairs to her room.

Once there the normal routine begins.

Nurses ask question and access her port before she heads down for x-ray and lung function tests.

She agrees to the wheelchair which is a little surprising.

While she's doing all that you go and get you each a coffee from the cafeteria for when she gets back upstairs.

Once down there you see their out of coffee so you decide to go to Starbucks across the street. Willing to wait in line to get Jane her favorite vanilla latte.

The barista recognizes you and you pose for a quick picture. It always made you happy to meet such ind fans.

Once you have your beverages you head back upstairs to see Jane laying in bed with oxygen on and two nurses and Dr. S huddled around.

You run in and set the coffees on the table.

"Jane? What's going on?"

Jane goes to speak but Dr. S pulls me aside before she can say anything.

"Tom, it looks like she's collapsed a lung. We're prepping her to be sent down for a chest tube placement to re-inflate it. She's in alot of pain and is scared. See if you can help us calm her down."

You nod and walk past him and the nurses and straight to Jane. Crouching down to her eye level and taking her hand.

"Jane? I need you to take some nice breaths and try to relax alright? I'm right here and everything is going to be fine."

She nods and closes her eyes. Focusing on her breathing.

You stay like that for a few minutes before someone comes up to take her down for the procedure.

You don't let go of her hand the whole way. She seems to have eased up a little bit.

Once they take her back you text Chris and call Ben.

"Hello?"

"Ben, it looks like Jane has a collapsed lung. She's having a procedure done now to place a tube to re-inflate it."

There was only a moment of silence.

"Oh my gosh, Tom. W-what happened?"

"I don't know. She went to have her x-ray so I went to get us some coffee and when I came back her lung had collapsed."

"Jesus. When will you hear anything?"

"I don't know. They said it shouldn't be too long."

Just then Dr. S comes down the hall, walking towards you.

"Ben, I see her doctor. I'll call you when I know more."

You hang up before he can respond and rush towards Dr. S.

"Ok, the tube has been placed and she's stabilizing. She will be out and back up to her room in the next half hour or so."

You let out a long breath.

"What happened?"

"I'm not entirely sure. The nurse was taking her down and all of a sudden she just coughed real hard and then screamed out and said she couldn't breathe. Has she been struggling at all this past week?"

"Yes, she has been struggling more than usual. The car ride here exhausted her and she looked uncomfortable. I knew something was wrong but she denied it."

"Something tells me it was partially collapsed and then that cough collapsed it the rest of the way. This happens to CF patients often. Especially the sicker they get."

You nod.

"I have a few other patients to go see. I will come up again once she's back in her room and settled."

"Thank you."

He pats your shoulder and heads back down the hall.

You get out your phone to text Ben and Chris and then head to the nurses station to ask when you can go see Jane.

She goes checks the computer for an update.

"It looks like she's ready for you. Follow me."

You follow the nurse down the familiar hallways. Your pocket buzzes a few times but you ignore it, assuming it is just Ben and Chris.

She pulls back the curtain to Jane's room and you walk straight over to her bed.

The nurse beside her speaks to you.

"I was just about to come get you. She's been asking about you. We're almost ready to take her back upstairs."

"Thank you." You nod and then turn your attention back to Jane.

She was still on oxygen and looked pale and in pain, but she didn't seem to be struggling like she was before.

Her eyes began to flutter when you grabbed her hand.

"Tom?"

"Ssshhh I'm here, love. Just rest."

She does as she's told and doesn't wake again until we are back up in her room and have to move her to a regular bed. It had to be done very carefully so as to not cause pain to her new chest tube that had been inserted on her right side inbetween two ribs.

Jane winced much during the process, but never shed a tear. After the move was done, she just laid back as two nurses began hooking her up to monitors and making sure her pain was under control.

"Jane? Do you have a number for your pain?"

"Well it was a five before the move.. probably a seven I suppose. It's very sore."

"I can imagine. I'm sorry, hon. I'll up your morphine."

After she was settled and the nurses left, you resumed your position by her bedside and held her hand. The morphine had knocked her out.

Dr. S came in shortly afterwards.

"How's she doin'?"

"She's hanging in there. She's tough. She doesn't seem to be struggling anymore."

"Good. We'll keep her pain under control. Those tubes can be pretty uncomfortable."

You nod. "What does this mean long term?"

Dr. S sighs as if he were dreading that question.

"I think it may be time to start talking about lung transplant."


	18. Chapter 18

**TOM**

Jane has now been in the hospital for a month. It's been a very difficult time for her, and you.

Last week they decided to try and remove the chest tube, only to have it collapse again and have the tube reinserted.

We had started talking to Dr. S about transplant. Jane has decided it is something she would want to do when the time officially comes. She isn't quite ready to be listed yet, but it's a very long process and Dr. S feels it's a good idea to get the ball rolling.

Once Jane is well we will start the process. Right now she is too fragile to have any added stress.

I have been struggling with work. I received a call telling me the movies release date has been moved up, along with the press tour.

But even once Jane goes home she will need constant care. She has been told she will go home on oxygen, a strict diet and exercise schedule to keep her weight and strength up for as long as she can for transplant. It's very important. They won't let you on the list if you don't meet their weight and often strength requirements.

You have to be healthy enough to survive such an extensive surgery, but sick enough to need one. It's a very fine line.

I had been talking to Ben about all of these concerns and predicaments. My biggest worry was for Jane. Who would care for her while I was away? She can't travel, and I am bound by contract to this press tour.

Today while Jane was sleeping, something she did more often now, I got a text from Ben.

"Tom, Sophie and I have been chatting and we want to move out with you guys until your tour is done. We will watch over her while you are away."

I read it a few times, making sure it was real. Was he serious?

"Ben, I couldn't ask you to disrupt your lives like that. It will be weeks."

"We haven't a thing that would be bothered. We want to help in any way we can. Please let us help you, guys."

I was holding back tears at this point. I couldn't believe I had a friend like this.

"You are a life saver. I cannot thank you enough for this."

"Anytime, pal. We shall talk details later. Glad we can help."

I put my phone in my pocket and then stood and walked around the room. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I still did not want to go, but I can't think of anyone I'd rather have watching over my Jane.

I look back toward the bed and notice Jane waking. Returning to my place by her bedside, I take her hand.

"Jane?"

Her eyes flutter open and she looks right at me with a slight smile.

"How long was I asleep?"

You glance at the clock behind you before answering. "Almost five hours."

"Geez Tom, I'm so sorry. I'm horrible company lately."

"Ssshhhh silly girl. You need rest. You are my favorite company. Even when you're snoring." You say with a smirk.

She smacks your arm weakly.

"So, I have some news. Ben and Sophie have offered to come and stay at the house with you while I am on press tour."

Her eyes widen. "Are you serious, Tom? That's so generous of them. Do they not truly understand what a pain I've become?"

"You are not a pain or burden on anyone, love. This is something they want to do. Besides, won't you and a pregnant Sophie have fun watching poor Ben run around like a toon?"

She giggles a bit before a raspy cough escapes her lips.

"That is appealing. I don't want you to leave, but I'm excited to see them again. Please tell them thank you next time Ben calls you."

You stroke your fingers thru her hair. "Yes, love."

**JANE**

After a month and a half of being in the hospital, you were home.

You were laying on the couch with a blanket, pillow, and cup of tea. Tom was rearranging things for your new oxygen concentrator that would be delivered soon.

We were expecting a delivery of tanks, a concentrator, tubing and more. Tom had already gone out and gotten me a wheelchair for when I felt too weak or out of breath to walk.

I had a new schedule on the fridge of calories I'm supposed to intake per day, and my exercises.

They were easy, mostly just stretches. A few things with little two pound weights.

Suddenly a knock on the door snapped you out of your thoughts.

Tom signed papers and then a man wheeled in tanks and the large concentrator that I would now be attached to all day and night when I was at home.

Tom got it setup where he had made a spot and began reading directions on how it worked. Once he finished reading he went and wheeled the tanks into the linen closet and then took the tubing for the cannulas to the same spot.

It wasn't much of a linen closet anymore.

He returned with a new cannula and another package of extra long tubing.

He hooked up the long tubing to the concentrator and then hooked the cannula to the larger tube before turning the machine on.

"Alright love, let's give this a go."

You removed your cannula that was attached to the tank in front of you ant Tom handed you the new one.

Immediately you could tell it was working and gave him a heads up.

He came and sat beside you on the couch and you nuzzled into his shoulder.

You listened to the bubbling and humming from your new machine.

Suddenly you hear Tom.

"Well, it's certainly a large and rather noisey little bugger isn't it? If it's going to be here awhile, don't you think we should name it?"

That's not something you'd thought about. Leave it to Tom to think of naming your new oxygen machine.

"Alright, how about Loki?"

"Now why on earth would you want that?"

"I have several reasons."

"Well do share."

"Well, all the buttons are green, I look at it as both evil and loveable, and because when you leave I will miss you terribly. Naming it Loki is like a little piece of you is still here. Without getting all creepy and naming it Tom or anything."

You look up to see him nod in agreement.

"Can't argue with that logic. Loki it is! Can't wait to tell Chris. Eheheh."

You yawn and lean into him more.

He pulls the blanket up to your shoulders and kisses your forehead.

"Sweet dreams, love."

_Authors note: I am SO sorry it's taken me so long to update! Thanks again for those reading, and for those who stuck around after that little hiatus!_


	19. Chapter 19

**JANE**

Ben and Sophie were arriving today, and Tom was leaving tomorrow.

He would be gone for about a month on press tour. He may have a day or two he'll get a break long enough to visit, but it wouldn't be long enough for you.

As excited as you were to see Ben and Sophie, you were terrified of being without Tom. You always miss him when he's away, but being as vulnerable as you've been you were having so much anxiety about it to the point it was making you sick.

Tom had been running around like a mad man these past two days. Making sure things were all in order as far as your medicines and supplies, writing down a very detailed few pages of your care, along with emergency numbers for all of your doctors. And then he had to worry about his own packing and making sure he would have everything he needed for his trip.

You could tell he was exhausted, you tried to help as much as you could without either getting caught by Tom and him telling you to rest, or without exhausting yourself.

It was a tricky task, but you had managed to help at least a little.

Currently you were sat on the couch under your afghan and leaning on Toms shoulder while you both just watched some mindless television waiting for your friends to arrive.

He leaned down to kiss the top of your head, you sigh.

You turn up to look at him, his features still showed signs of being tired. "I'm going to miss this, Tom."

He kisses your forehead. "I know my love. If there was any way of staying, believe me, I would be right here."

Suddenly there's a knock at the door.

You look out the window. "That's them!" Tom was already at the door. Ben walks in with his arms full of suitcases. Sophie right behind him, hands on her slightly larder belly. Ben is the first to speak. "Tom! Mind giving me a hand with these? Hello, Jane!" Tom takes suitcases from Ben with a grin and takes them to the guest bedroom.

Ben and Sophie make there way over to you, you stand carefully. Making sure not to trip over your oxygen tube and try and steady your wobbly legs.

Sophie grabs you with a large, but gentle hug. "Oh Jane! I've missed you! How are you feeling, dear?"

You pull back to look at her. "I'm doing ok. How about you? How is the little nugget doing?"

Ben giggles beside Sophie. "Myself and the baby are well. Things are moving along just as expected."

Ben leans in for a hug next just as Tom returns. Sophie heads his way for a hug.

Ben hugs even more gently than Sophie. "Hello darling. So good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, Ben."

Starting to feel light headed and a bit short of breath, I sit down and watch Tom and them catch up. Letting your eyes close for only a moment.

**TOM**

Jane had been asleep for a bit now. The excitement of the day caught up to her. You take this opportunity to catch Ben and Sophie up on some of her care.

"Would you two mind following me to the kitchen?"

The both stand up and follow you into the kitchen quietly.

They sit at the counter, listening intently.

"Ok, so as you know, Jane is going to need alot of care. I printed off instructions and schedules and they're here on the fridge. Now, she gets tired very easily so you'll have to keep a close eye on her to make sure she doesn't over do it. Especially during her daily exercise. If she looks worn down, tell her it's ok to stop. She will also be somewhat stubborn about the use of her wheelchair, so you have to be very insistent. She can get stubborn about eating too, but it's something she has to do in order to keep her weight up for transplant. My only tip for that is to make whatever sounds good to her. I've left plenty of money for you to get whatever she wants, and whatever you both want. I change her nasal cannula once a day and the long tubing that hooks from the concentrator to her cannula once a week. Sometimes she will need her oxygen adjusted. Right now she is on two liters, but usually after exercise or excitement I turn it up to three. And when she is asleep it goes up to four. Ummm let's see what else... Well she sleeps alot and I always let her. It's very important she get's lot's of rest. She knows all her medicines and when to take them, but I've got them all written down for you in case she asks. And of course call me at anytime. I'll check in often, but call with any questions or concerns. And all her doctors numbers are written down as well. I'm sorry if it seems as though I'm rambling. There's just so much and I don't want to forget anything."

Ben and Sophie just nod, listening closely.

"We'll take good care of her, Tom. Don't worry." Ben says with a reassuring smile on his face.

Sophie looks at you with a bit of worry, clearly noticing your frazzled state.

"I can't thank you both enough for doing this." You hold back some tears, moving around the corner to give them both a hug.

**JANE**

It was around 10pm. Ben and Sophie were in the guest bedroom and you were cradled in Toms arms. Exhausted, but not wanting to sleep, because once you woke up he'd be gone.

"Tom?" You say quietly, checking if he was still asleep.

"Mmmm.. What is it, darling?" He mumbles, half asleep.

You want to beg him not to go. To tell him that this next month was going to be the hardest thing you've ever had to do. But he was bound by contract so there was no way out, and he already felt horrible. So instead of making him feel worse, you just whisper into his neck.

"I love you."

He hugs you to him tighter. Kissing the top of your head. "I love you too, penguin. I'll be home before you know it."

You pull the blankets around you tighter and snuggle into Tom even more, with a smile. Finally letting your heavy lids fall.

_Authors Note: I apologize for the last chapter! I wrote it half asleep, really just wanting to make sure I updated while I had the time. I hope this one is better! Also, the next few chapters will be a little different with Toms absence. We will be getting bits from Ben and Sophie's perspective. Thanks again for those who are giving this a read, and if you have any suggestions or things you want to see, let me know in the comments!_


	20. Chapter 20

**JANE**

Tom's been gone three days. You missed him more than you thought possible. He calls anytime he get's a chance, and texts you throughout the day. You knew how worried he was so your conversations mostly consisted of you assuring him you were doing fine.

Ben and Sophie had been doing an amazing job of taking care of you.

Sophie helped with your exercises everyday. Ben was like you and Sophie's chef. Between her pregnancy cravings, and your high cal diet, he was always in the kitchen cooking up something.

The hardest times were at night, sleeping alone. No strong arms to hold you. No one to cover you back up when you kicked off all the covers. No one to make sure you weren't tangled in your oxygen tubes. You fall asleep texting him each night, hugging your phone close to your chest.

Today you all had planned to go look at the local baby shop.

Ben was readying your portable oxygen tank while Sophie was packing your medicines you would need for lunch.

You felt exhausted, but it was something Sophie really wanted to do and you didn't want to let her down.

Her voice wakes you from your thoughts.

"Jane? Are you sure you're up to this? It's really no big deal if you'd rather stay home and watch movies." She says with worry evident in her tone.

Ben then comes to stand beside her, looking at you with that same hint of worry.

"Yes I'm alright. Just a bit tired. I'll be fine, Ben will just have to push me around so long as he doesn't mind." You look up to him and he gives a nod.

"No problem at all."

You stand slowly and start making your way to the door to head for the car. Ben offering his hand to help steady you.

The walk to the car get's you out of breath and you turn your tank up a bit until you catch your breath. Ben and Sophie look to each other, a bit uneasy, but start the car and head to the mall.

**BEN**

Sophie and Jane were in baby clothes heaven. Having a good time giggling at things like little shoes and socks. Jane looked utterly exhausted, but she never complained. Determined little thing she was.

Tom was texting me almost nonstop for updates. He knows Jane would never tell him the truth and worry him while he's away.

I was always honest with him if I felt she was having a bit of an off day. I informed him she seemed extra tired today and he told me to make sure to watch her carefully.

I hadn't taken my eyes off her all day. She wasn't struggling, just tired. If things changed I told him I would take her home immediately.

I don't know how Tom does it. I'm exhausted and it's only been three days. So much to remember, to do, to watch for. It was like a full time job. He's a better man then I could even imagine. So many would have left by now.

Poor girl. Can't imagine what it must feel like to be her.

Sophie snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Ben? You ok darling?"

"Yes just daydreaming."

Jane holds up a little onesie that reads "I love my auntie" and giggles.

"I just have to get this for the little nugget." She says with a smile.

"Very cute. Are we read to checkout and go to lunch then?"

Sophie nods and leads the way. You turn Jane's chair in that direction and follow along.

You look down to Jane, just checking to see if there was any change. Your pocket buzzes, surely it's Tom again.

Jane and Sophie checkout, you reassure Tom that there's no change.

"There's a yummy Mexican restaurant just a few blocks from here. Does anyone else feel like some tacos?" Jane says, pointing in the direction of the restaurant.

Sophie rubs her swollen belly. "That sounds delicious. Ok by you, darling?"

You nod and steer Jane in the direction of the restaurant.

**SOPHIE**

If this trip was any indication of how Ben was going to be as a father, he was going to be fabulous.

He's taking such good care of Jane. He hasn't faltered once. You could tell he was worn out, it was alot of work. More than you would have thought, but he never shows a trace of being bothered. And he isn't just caring for Jane, he was doing things for you too. It seems as though you've married some sort of superhero.

Lunch was clearly the last straw for Jane, who had been exhausted from the moment she woke this morning.

She only managed half a taco before she started nodding off right there in the restaurant.

Ben asks for boxes for our meal and the check and goes over to Jane's side of the table and crouches to her level.

"Jane? Is everything ok or are you just tired?" He lays a hand on her cheek to face her towards him.

"Just...tired..." She mumbles.

You finish packing up the leftovers and make your way to the counter to pay while he already headed for the car.

Once the bill was paid, you went out to the car. He already had her in and buckled and was just collapsing the chair to put in the trunk.

You hop in the passenger side and look back at Jane. Already mostly asleep.

"I'm sorry..Sophie."

You shake your head. "No sorry's dear. I was getting tired, and my ankles are swollen I'm sure. Just rest."

Your not sure if she heard it, it seemed like she was already asleep.

Ben drove home and I texted Tom an update. He said it was something that's happened before and that she should be fine after extra rest. Poor thing was clearly worried though. Tom was such a sweetheart.

Ben carried Jane in and I rolled her tank behind them. He laid her on the couch and I went to go get her extra pillows and blanket from her bed.

Ben hooked her up from her portable tank to the concentrator and turned it up to four liters while I tucked her in.

Once that was all settled, Ben and I sat at the counter and finished our lunch.

I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "You're going to be the best daddy."

**TOM**

It was killing me to be away from her.

It's so difficult to talk about this movie and act so excited to be off on this press tour, when I'd rather be anywhere else.

I get updates from Ben and Sophie all day, and I talk to Jane at least twice a day on the phone, but it still doesn't ease my anxiety.

I just want to hold her. See for myself that she is ok. I know Ben and Sophie aren't lying to me, and are doing a good job. I wouldn't want her with anyone else. But I just need to see for myself she's alright.

The episode of exhaustion has me a bit worried. It's happened before and I'm sure it's nothing, but it just makes me a bit uneasy. I'm glad they did take her home and that she's able to get her proper rest though.

Sophie sent me a picture of the onesie Jane bought for their baby and that gave you a good laugh. It was just like her to buy something like that.

I just hope she'll get to see the baby wear it.


	21. Chapter 21

**BEN**

Well, Tom had done it. He's been trying to shorten the press tour anyway he can and he's figured it out.

Instead of having those few days to come home inbetween some interviews, he managed to reschedule some interviews during those times which meant he would be home in three weeks instead of four.

When he set his mind to something there was no going back, so you aren't at all surprised that he found a way to get home to his girl sooner. He was due home next week.

You were glad as well. Jane was wearing down these last few days and it was making both you and Sophie a tad nervous. She had a horrible cough, she just sleeps, has hardly any appetite, and her oxygen was at four liters now.

You had told all of this to Tom and he gave you some tips to make her more comfortable and a few things to watch for. He said he knew Jane wouldn't go to the hospital without him so there was no use in bringing that up.

Jane seemed to be having a little bit of a better afternoon now that her oxygen had been adjusted.

She was propped up on the couch a bit and Sophie was painting her nails. They were talking about baby things and giggling. It made you smile. Meanwhile you were in the kitchen cooking Sophie's latest craving, spaghetti and meatballs.

"Ben dear, is supper almost done? Jane is actually feeling up to eating a bit." Sophie says from the couch.

The fact Jane was a little hungry made you smile even more. "Yes it should be done in no more than fifteen minutes."

"Thanks, Ben." Jane's hoarse little rasp comes from the couch. Her throat positively raw from all the coughing.

Once dinner was done you made a plate for Jane and brought it out to her with her cup full up medicines. Her shaky little hands take it from you and smile a thank you. Sophie was already up and in the kitchen filling her plate when you turned back around. You stifle a giggle and then make your way back to get yourself a plate.

You and Sophie each go and have a seat in the living room and watch some mindless television during dinner. Jane takes a break inbetween bites to cough often.

She manages about half of her little plate, meanwhile Sophie has finished her second helping.

You go and start to clean up the kitchen while Sophie readies Jane's evening breathing treatments. Once Jane starts her nebulizer machine Sophie has a seat with Jane's feet in her lap to start painting her toes.

Tom started texting, asking how she was doing this evening and if it was ok to give her a call, not wanting to wake her if she was resting. Once you notice she is done with her nebs you ask her.

"Jane, is now a good time for Tom to give you a ring?"

Her face immediately lit up. It was what she looked forward to most each day. "Yes please!"

You text Tom the ok and then Sophie and you get ready to go for your evening stroll around the block. It was good to get Sophie some fresh air and exercise, but you couldn't leave Jane alone often or for long, so each night during her and Tom's phone call you would both take a little walk.

Her phone rings and you wave goodbye and head out for your walk with your wife and your growing baby.

**TOM**

You counted the hours to you and Jane's evening phone calls each day. You used to be able to call in the morning as well, but she was ill and needed her rest so you limited the calls to once a day now.

You were so nervous that she was feeling sick while you weren't there. You knew how well Ben and Sophie were caring for her though. Still, hearing her voice put you at ease.

Jane picks up on the first ring. Always just as eager to talk to you as you were to talk to her.

"Hello you" You hear her small voice croak from the other end. Clearly the added coughing was making her lose her voice. It sounded painful for her to speak.

"Oh love, you really aren't feeling well are you?"

"It sounds worse than it is. I've felt worse than this. I'll be fine for awhile longer."

"Are you sure? Maybe you should go see the doctor. I'd hate for you to put it off and feel even sicker than you already do."

"Tom, I'm fine. I don't want to go without you. It will only stress me out more. Now, enough about that, how was your day?"

"Such a stubborn little penguin." You heard her giggle, which then called her to cough a bit. It did sound awful. "You alright?"

After a moment of her catching her breath she answered quietly. "Yes. Sorry. Now, what were you going to say?"

"No apologies, dear. I had a fine day. I had a phone interview for a magazine, a radio interview, and then a internet Q and A. Tomorrow I have a small screening and then a interview for some gossip show. I can't quite remember which."

"I'm glad you had a good day. Sounds busy. I felt a little better today, probably because my oxygen got adjusted. I still slept alot, but not as much as these last few days, Sophie painted my nails and Ben cooked a delicious spaghetti meal that I managed to eat some of."

"Oh that's wonderful. I'm glad you ate and had a better day. I can't wait to get home and take care of you. I hate being away, especially when you feel so unwell."

"I miss you, too. I'm counting down until you come home."

You hear a knock on the door and then Luke pops his head in. You look toward the clock and realize it's time to leave for a dinner with some of the cast.

"Love, I'm sorry to cut this short, but I've completely forgotten I have a dinner to attend."

"Oh, ok. It's fine I'm pretty tired. Have fun at dinner, get some pudding for me, ok? I love you and I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"I love you too, my darling. Sweet dreams."

**JANE**

Since you and Tom's conversation was so short, Ben and Sophie were still on their walk. Usually they are home long before you and Tom are off of the phone.

Your throat was terribly sore and you had heartburn so you decided to make your way to the kitchen to get some milk and your antacids.

You push the pile of blankets off your lap and stand slowly and carefully. Your legs were quite wobbly. You haven't done anything without Ben or Sophie's help these past few days.

You pick up some slack of your oxygen tubing, being careful not to trip over it. You shuffle your way towards the kitchen, already feeling out of breath and light headed. You reach the front counter and grip it tightly, using it as support to keep you upright, holding it all the way around until you were across from the fridge.

You cross the way over to grab the gallon of milk, turning with it carefully, watching your feet so you don't slip on your tubes.

You reach in the cupboard for a small glass and then head to your medicine shelf, searching the labels for the right one. You take out two pills and then shuffle back towards your glass of milk to take a drink to swallow them.

You try take deep and steady breaths, closing your eyes in the hopes it would help your dizziness. Feeling your legs get weaker by the minute you decide it would be best to just get to the couch before your legs gave out or the dizziness caused you to fall.

You take your first step and trip over your oxygen tube, sending you straight toward the ground. You manage to put your hands out so you don't hit your head. The yank on the tubing ripped the cannula from your nose and it landed towards your feet. Still in shock from the fall, you just lie there gasping.

Your head continues to spin and now your chest ached from the lack of oxygen. You tried to sit up but your arms failed you. Struggling to reach your cannula you prayed for Ben and Sophie to walk through the door.

**SOPHIE**

It was such a lovely evening so we took extra time on our walk. Not just because we were enjoying our time to ourselves, but because we wanted to give Tom and Jane their privacy.

However the sun was beginning to set, your ankles were starting to swell, and you both didn't like leaving Jane for too long.

You walk back into the house and notice Jane isn't on the couch. Panic immediately sets in. Ben follows her oxygen tube that led toward the kitchen and you followed. Horrified by what you saw.

Jane was lying on the floor, face terribly pale, and her oxygen by her feet. Ben falls to his knees and pulls her into his lap, you grab her cannula and put it back under her nose and then go to turn the concentrator up to six liters. You rush back to the kitchen and hold back tears as Ben tries to wake her up.

"Jane? Jane dear, can you hear me?"

He pats her cheek and you wet a wash cloth and kneel down to lay it on her forehead, seeing if cold water will stir her.

A small moan escapes her lips once you move the rag to the back of her neck.

"Jane? Jane it's Ben. Please open your eyes." He sounds calm, but his features scream frantic.

Her eyes flutter and she seemingly starts searching for a face. She lands on yours and you place a hand on her cheek.

"Jane, it's Sophie. You're ok. We're here."

She nods and then turns to look back up to Ben. Her cheeks regaining a bit of color, her breathing starting to steady. Her voice comes out a slow whisper.

"I'm sorry. I tried to get a glass of milk and tripped over my oxygen. I think I'm ok though."

Ben looks at with her concern. "Are you sure? Maybe we should go to the hospital and make sure you're alright."

She shakes her head. "No no, they'll want to keep me I just know it. I didn't hit my head or anything. I just need to lay down and have my oxygen turned up for a little bit. I'm fine, honest."

Ben looks at you with uncertainty in his eyes. You nod and then look to Jane.

"Ok Jane, we won't go to the hospital. But if you aren't able to go back down on the oxygen by morning or show any signs of a concussion we are going. And no more getting up while we aren't here. If you need something and we aren't present you just call and Ben will rush to help with whatever you need, or we can just make sure one of us is always here. Deal?"

She nods with tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I can't even get my own drink anymore. It's humiliating. I'm such a burden. I am so sorry to both of you." She's sobbing now. Ben's arms tighten around her and you run fingers through her hair, shushing her to calm her down.

"Jane Jane Jane, you are no such thing. Do you understand? You have nothing to apologize for. Everyone needs help sometimes. When I'm the size of a house do you think I'll be moving anymore than you are? We want to do whatever we can to help you, sweetie. And we are happy to do it."

She just nods, her eyes getting droopy. Ben picks her up gently and carries her to the couch and tucks her back under the covers. You go to get her a new cannula seeing as that one had been on the floor, but you didn't have time to get one before.

By the time you switch her tubing she is already fast asleep.

Ben was sat in the recliner on the side of the room, keeping a close watch on her. You went and sat in his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck and laying your head on his shoulder.

"That was terrifying."

He rubs his hand in circles on your back. "I'm going to sleep out here tonight to keep a close watch on her."

You sit back to look at him. "Honey I can do that. You hardly get enough sleep as it is with me tossing about."

He shakes his head. "You and our baby need sleep more than I do. If I don't get any sleep I will take a nap tomorrow. Besides, if you toss and turn in bed, you'll definitely never be able to get comfortable in this chair."

You give him a kiss. "You need to call Tom. I know it's going to worry him, but he has to know."

He sighs and grabs his phone from his pocket, you stand to let him up to go to the other room.

"I know. Poor bloke is worried enough as it is though."

He goes to the bedroom to call and you go over to Jane to adjust her pillows and blankets to assure she's as comfortable as possible.

A few minutes later, Ben comes back into the room. Already changed into his jammies and his pillow and a blanket in hand.

"Well, I talked him out of rushing back tonight. But he's going to find a way to get home tomorrow. He says that they can't waste anymore time on getting her on the transplant list. The doctor warned him about this, that her strength would start to fail her despite the exercises because of her decreasing oxygen levels. He is going to find a way home and call once he finds out when he will be out of there to make an immediate appointment to get the ball rolling on the transplant process."

Those words hit hard. You start to cry and he comes over and pulls you into his chest, his arms wrapped around you tightly.

"Ben, I can't leave her. She's my best friend. Her and Tom are going to need all the help and support they can get."

"I'm already way ahead of you, darling."


	22. Chapter 22

TOM

You got the call from Ben and immediately panicked. She's never fallen before. He was able to calm your nerves a bit, informing you she was regaining her color and no longer struggling and she was resting.

Once I hung up with him I explained the situation to Luke and then went to start gathering my things and began searching for the soonest flight back home. Luke was making the necessary calls informing everyone I had a family emergency and would not be able to finish the press tour. Unfortunately, news would get out that I had cancelled due to an emergency and that would be all over the tabloids soon enough, but that did not matter right now.

What mattered was getting home to Jane.

I couldn't find anything soon enough for my liking so I called a few airlines to see if there have been any cancellations or anyway for me to get on the next flight.

I managed to find one that would leave at 1am. I texted Ben my flight information and asked for an update on Jane.

He said she was sleeping comfortably and that he would be sleeping in the living room recliner in order to keep a close eye on her. They did not want to move her so they made her as comfortable as could be on the couch.

It felt like the longest flight you've ever been on, which is saying something considering the places you've traveled, but none of the planes you'd been on were taking you to the love of our life who _needed_ you.

You fall asleep for the last hour or so of the flight and call Ben as soon as you're off the plane.

You make it through the airport in record time and grab a cab and head for the house, making it there in roughly just thirty minutes.

You quietly walk inside, as it was still early. You see Ben at the counter with a cup of coffee.

He turns and smiles at you, standing to give you a hug. He takes your bag for you and you immediately go towards the couch and kneel in front of Jane. You missed her so much it was so hard not to be able to swoop her up into your arms.

She was extremely pale, under many blankets but still shivering. You reach your hand to her forehead lightly and she's burning up. She doesn't stir. You hear her shallow, raspy, and uneven breaths. You stand and look at the concentrator, still on six liters.

You look at her for another moment before nodding to Ben to follow you into the kitchen.

"How did she do overnight?"

"Well, she sprung a fever kind of out of no where, I woke up and went to check on her and noticed her shaking. After I covered her in blankets and it still didn't stop, I woke her to check her temperature and it was 102.5 so I gave her a dose of tylenol and it helped. It's wearing off now tho because the shivers are back. She coughed quite a bit, but nothing that made me too nervous or that woke her up."

You nod. Taking out your phone to call her doctor.

"Ben, thank you so so much for caring for my girl. I'm sorry if I was rude when I came home, but I was worried sick and just had to see her. I'm so sorry if that hurt your feelings at all."

He smiled at you and shook his head. "Not at all, Tom. Now go call her doctor."

You dial the number for the hospital and Dr. S still isn't there. You inform the nurse it is rather urgent and she says she will page him to please call you as soon as he can.

With it still being rather early, there's not much to do except wait. You poor yourself some coffee and sit with Ben.

You sit quietly, listening to the humming and bubbling of the oxygen concentrator, but Ben's voice breaks the silence.

"Tom?"

"Yes, Ben?"

"Sophie and I are absolutely struck by how much you do for, Jane. These past few weeks have been emotionally, and physically, exhausting. And that's with the two of us and just for a short while. I can't imagine how tiring it must be by yourself day in and day out. Well, what I'm getting at, is that Sophie and I would like to temporarily move down here. For as long as you need us after transplant. Sophie brought it up last night and I had been thinking about it for a few days now. Sophie says she can't bare the thought of not being here for her best friend when she needs her most. She was brought to tears. We want to be here for both of you. We will go back to London to gather some things and make arrangements while you're busy with all of the transplant testing, and then return and stay in a little apartment or rent a small house for as long as need be."

You couldn't stop the tears from falling. Absolutely taken aback by what he was saying.

"Thank you." was all you could manage.

Ben smiled wide and gave you a strong pat on the back. You felt your phone vibrate and began collecting yourself as you knew who it was.

"Dr. S?"

"Yes Tom, hello. What's going on? I thought you were out of town?"

"I'm afraid Jane is not well. She has been feeling ill for a few days now and last night she had a fall. Since then she has had her oxygen at six liters and still seems to be having a bit of a difficult time, she is very pale and has a fever. I feel it's time to start the transplant list process."

"I think you may be right. Bring her in. The floor isn't full so there won't be a problem for a bed, the sooner you get here the better."

"I will bring her shortly."

"See you then."

You hang up and begin to go and pack some of her things while Ben goes to wake Sophie.

She comes in once you're almost finished and gives you a hug, her larger belly making it a bit awkward to wrap her arms around you.

"How are you, love?"

"I'm doing alright, besides having to pee all the time. I'm so glad you've made it home and are happy about our offer to help."

"I cannot thank you enough, Sophie."

"You don't have to." She stands on her tip toes to kiss your cheek and then she leaves the room.

Ben has loaded what you've packed into the car, while you ready her a portable oxygen tank.

Once things were in order you go to wake her up. Kneeling down in front of her and running your hands thru her hair, her head still feeling hot.

"Jane my love, wake up darling."

Her eyes flutter and she looks at you, still mostly asleep.

"There's my girl."

A weak smile crosses her face and she leans forward for a kiss.

"Tom? What are you doing here?" Her voice nothing more than a raspy whisper.

"I was able to come home earlier than expected. I'm sorry to wake you love, but it's time to go to the hospital."

She nods her head weakly and tries to sit up. Placing a hand on her shoulder, you shake your head at her.

"No no no, I'll carry you. I just didn't want to frighten you. I'll be gentle don't worry. Are you ready?"

She gives a slight nod, already falling back asleep.

You switch her oxygen and then gently lift her and all her blankets. Even with all of them she is light as a feather.

Sophie gives her a kiss on the head before you care her out the door and Ben carries her pillow and wheels her oxygen behind you.

You get her settled into the back seat and she doesn't even stir. Ben comes with you to help you get her and our things inside.

**JANE**

Your chest is tight, you can't seem to catch your breath. You are freezing and shaking, but feel like you're sweating. Each minute felt like it was getting harder to breathe, causing an ache in your lungs.

You hear Tom and feel his warm hands on your cheek.

"Darling? We're going to take you inside now. I'm going to have to put you in a wheelchair so please try and stay awake now."

You open your eyes to look at him, noticing the corners of your vision becoming blurry. You nod and lift your arms out of the blankets to wrap your arms around his neck. He lifts you up and you notice Ben come around the other side of the car to shut your door and carry your oxygen tank and bags. You tried to smile at him but you felt so weak you weren't sure if you actually did or not.

Once inside Tom places you in a chair and wraps the blankets around you securely before checking in. Ben stands by your side, never taking his eyes off of you. He looks concerned. Tom sees this and kneels down to be eye level with you.

"Jane? Are you alright? Can you hear me?"

Black spots appear in your vision and you shake your head to Tom. "No" you say but it just comes out as a gasp as you try to breathe in oxygen but it felt as though nothing would come.

You hear many voices and Tom lifts you to place you on a gurney.

"It's going to be ok, love. I'm right here." He says squeezing your hand.

Then everything goes dark.


	23. Chapter 23

**TOM**

Despite arguments, they wouldn't let you in the room with Jane. They said they had to get her stabilized before I could see her. Only moments after she was taken back you saw Dr. S run back to where they had taken her.

You pace and Ben calls Sophie to inform her of the situation.

"No dear please just stay there. All we are doing is waiting right now. Try and relax a bit, the stress isn't good for the baby. I will call you when we hear anything. I love you."

He hangs up and then walks over and places his hand on your shoulder.

"Tom? Why don't you sit? You're white as a ghost. I'll go across the street and get us a cup of coffee. Be right back."

You nod and walk towards the waiting room chairs to have a seat. Placing your head in your hands, you just think of Jane.

What happened? What were they doing to help her? When will you be able to see her? Why wouldn't they just let you stay with her and hold her hand?

You don't know how long you were thinking these thoughts, but suddenly Ben was back with a cup of hot coffee.

He takes the seat beside you and hands you your coffee.

"Thanks."

"She's going to be ok, Tom."

You just nod. Not sure what else to do. You both just sit in silence. Waiting. Ben receives a few texts from a worried Sophie, which he replies the same things each time. Telling her to rest, stay put, and he will tell her when we have word.

"Maybe you should go be with her. I know all this worrying can't be good for her or the baby."

"Oh no mate, there's not a chance I am leaving you here. Not until we've heard something. I think she's calming down now. She doesn't seem as frantic."

You shoot him a weak smile and then turn to see Dr. S coming your way.

You stand up and practically run towards him.

"How is she?"

"She is stable right now."

You feel like you can breathe again.

"It looks as tho she has caught a virus that moved straight to the lungs causing a very serious infection. Now, there are no signs of pneumonia or a collapsed lung, but she is still in somewhat critical condition. The cannula wasn't providing her with enough oxygen, but I did not want to intubate unless absolutely necessary. So I tried putting her on a bi-pap and that seems to be working. She will have to wear that for awhile until this virus begins to clear up. Her fever was also very high so we had to give her some cooling blankets which are bringing it down nicely. Her body was on overdrive. That fall had tipped her over and caused her body to stress and then things just spiraled out of control from there. She is under some light sedation now in order to giver her body the proper rest it needs and to keep her from struggling with the bi-pap machine. She will be in the ICU until she is able to come off bi-pap. She gave us quite a scare, but your wife is quite the little fighter."

You were listening carefully to everything he was saying, but all you could think about was seeing her.

"What does all of this mean in regards to transplant?"

"Once she is on her way towards recovery we will discuss it more, but I want to get the process going as soon as possible."

You nod.

"When can I see her?"

He gives you a small smile.

"You can see her now. Unfortunately in ICU we limit it to one person at bedside at a time." He looks to Ben.

"Not a problem. I am going to go and get Sophie. You go see her. Is there anything I can bring you?"

"No thank you, Ben."

He smiles and turns to leave and you eagerly follow Dr. S to Jane's room in the ICU.

You've never been in an ICU, and it's always been somewhere you hoped you'd never be. The doors were glass and there were nurses and doctors at every corner. The rooms seemed bigger as well, probably for larger equipment.

Jane's room as at the end of the first hallway. Dr. S turns to you and squeezes your shoulder. "I'll be at the nurses station."

You nod and take a deep breath before entering her room.

What you saw will haunt you forever.

Jane was pale, under a cooling blanket and also a cool wash cloth was laid across her forehead. There was a large mask that was strapped to her face with a long and large tube coming from it and into a larger machine next to her bed. It was louder as it was using more effort to force air into her lungs.

There were machines you hadn't seen before, monitors she's never been attached to, she was hooked up to her mediport and multiple IV's. Many pumps and bags and syringes full of medications and fluids you couldn't even begin to fathom what they all could be. She was also hooked up to her gtube.

It was almost hard to find her amongst it all. But there she was. So little and pale. You walked toward her slowly and pulled a chair up beside her, taking her hand in yours carefully so you didn't disrupt any of the tubes or wires.

You weren't sure how long you had sat like that. Just watching her chest move up and down as the bi-pap hummed beside you.

Nurses came in often to check all the monitors and pumps. They removed the rag over her head once they were happy with her temperature.

Dr. S came in awhile later. You didn't hear him come in until he walked beside you to check on the bi-pap machine.

"Your friends have been back awhile now. They're waiting down the hall. Maybe you should take a break and go grab something to eat and let one of them have a moment?"

You nod and stand, your legs felt stiff. How long have you been sitting there? You lean over to kiss her gently on the forehead and whisper. "I'll be back soon, love."

You follow Dr. S to where Sophie and Ben were sat.

Sophie rushes over to give you a hug, tears in her eyes. Ben stands to join her.

"How is she, Tom? Can I go see her?" Sophie asks with urgency in her tone.

"She is going to be watched very closely for a bit, but is stable. You can go see her. It's hard to look at tho. I am going to get something from the cafeteria."

Sophie heads towards Jane's room and Ben follows you to the cafe. "You ok?"

You shrug. "I'm worried sick. I've never seen her like this. It's heartbreaking to see her this way. So pale and still, it's hard to find her amongst all of the machines and tubes and wires. I just hope things clear up quickly so I can get her out of there."

Ben nods and the rest of the walk to the cafeteria was silent.

**BEN**

Sophie and I each had a short visit with Jane before leaving the hospital. The stress was becoming too much for Sophie and Tom and I were concerned for her and the baby. He told us that he would call if anything changes or if he needs something, but otherwise we should stay home and rest.

As much as I wanted to be there for my friend, I agreed for Sophie's sake.

I was worried sick about Jane, but held it all in. I was to be the rock for Tom and Sophie. The three of us being in a tizzy would do Jane no good.

Once we arrived home, Sophie went to take a relaxing bath and I called Tom.

"Hello?"

"Hi, we just got home. Sophie is going to relax in the tub for a bit. Things still about the same?"

"Yeah things are still the same. Her fever has stayed down, so that is good. I just got some blankets and pillows for my chair. Not enough room for a cot in here."

"Is there anything you need?"

"No no no, I'm all set. Thank you though, Ben."

"Of course. Is there anyone you want me to call? Any errands you need run or work to be done?"

"No I've already called my family, Luke, and Chris. I'll let a few more know tomorrow. And no I don't believe there's anything that needs to be done. Unless you and Sophie need things?"

"No we have everything we need. Please let me know if you think of something or if you need me to bring you anything."

"I will. And I'll call with any changes. Right now you need to worry about your wife and the baby."

"Yes I know, I'm gonna keep her mind off of things as much as possible. Maybe tomorrow we'll start looking around for a doctor for her and places to stay."

"That sounds like a good idea. Well, I'm rather worn out so I am going to try and get some sleep. It won't be much, nurses and doctors are in and out constantly, so I want to get what little rest I can. Thank you for everything and give Sophie my love."

"Alright I will. Call if anything changes or if you need me."

After we hung up, I went and changed into pajamas. Once I heard Sophie out of the bath, I went and made her an ice cream sundae and put in her favorite rom-com.

When she came into the bedroom and saw what I'd done, she smiled wide and crawled into bed kissing me sweetly on the cheek.


	24. Chapter 24

**JANE  
**  
You heard his voice but you couldn't find him.

You tried to move but everything was just so heavy.

You don't remember anything except him telling you it would all be ok. And you believed him, but the fact you felt so weak was scaring you. Why couldn't you just open your eyes and see him?

"Jane, if you can hear me please squeeze my hand."

His voice sounded so desperate. Focusing as much as you can, you see if you can wiggle your fingers.

"Jane? Darling, do that again."

It must have worked, you give your fingers another wiggle and you feel him grip your hand tighter.

"Oh Jane! It's me and I'm right here. Can you open your eyes for me, love?"

You try but all you get is a flutter. You hear a beep and then another voice, a woman.

"Nurse, she is squeezing my hand when I ask and she is trying to open her eyes!"

You hear footsteps walk around and then a smaller hand grip your other hand carefully.

"Jane, my name is Lara and I'm your nurse, can you please give my hand a little squeeze?"

You do as she asks, it is easier now. You try to open your eyes again, but still can't quite open them.

"I'll be right back with the doctor." And you hear her footsteps leave the room.

"Jane my love, I'm right here. Just keep trying to open those beautiful eyes of yours. I miss them so.."

Miss them? How long have they been closed?

Finally. You see light. You don't see him though. You go to turn your head, but there is a large mask and tubes making it difficult.

"There she is." And then he moves into your line of vision. He looked terrible. Hair and clothes somewhat disheveled, lack of sleep evident in his now teary eyes, stubble running across his chin.

You try to talk but nothing comes out.

"Ssshhh no no don't try and speak, darling."

He leans forward to kiss your forehead.

What happened? So many tubes and wires, and what was this large mask over your face?

You're becoming more aware of things. The deep ache throughout your body, especially your chest, the dull headache, how exhausted you felt, and now the realization that this mask wasn't just feeding you oxygen, it was _forcing_ air into your lungs.

You try not to panic, and Tom sees this.

"Jane, everything is going to be ok. I promise you. You've had a rough couple of days, but you are back now. Dr. S will be here shortly to explain everything. I'm right here." He gives a squeeze to your hand and you look into those blue eyes, getting lost in them. It calms you down.

Sure enough, Dr. S comes around the corner and goes to stand beside Tom, a smile on his face, but concern in his eyes.

"Well it's good to see you awake, Jane. I'm gonna take a listen, so deep breaths for me." He places his stethoscope on your chest and you take as big of breaths as you can manage. They are shallow and raspy. He nods his head and then looks at all the monitors surrounding you.

"You seem to be moving air better, and your overall airways sound clearer. We will wean you off the bipap today and see how you do on the cannula again." Bipap, that's what is covering your face, you think as he continues.

"You caught a rather aggressive virus that moved to your lungs quite rapidly. You are on quite the cocktail of antibiotics. The strongest we have. They seem to be doing the trick, I wasn't expecting you to be up for another day or two. If all goes well with the nasal cannula, we will be able to move you out of ICU and then begin the process to get you onto that transplant list."

You try to nod, but between the bipap and the fact you were exhausted again, it was a failed attempt.

You didn't notice the nurse leave and return with your usual oxygen tubing.

Tom moved over to the other side of the bed so he was out of the way and gripped your hand again.

Once the tubing is all set up, the nurse turns off the bipap and unstraps the mask from your face, and returning to position the nasal cannula.

You take deep and slow breaths, a cough rattling through you. Your chest ached, and you still felt a little short of breath, but wanted to keep giving this a try.

"How does that feel, Jane?" Dr. S asked, watching your oxygen levels on the monitor beside your bed.

"Still a little short of breath."

He nods and the nurse comes over and removes the nasal cannula, placing a standard oxygen mask in it's place and adjusting the liters.

You take several breaths and relief runs through you. Your chest still ached, but you felt as though you could catch your breath.

"Better" you mumble beneath the mask.

Tom's eyes only leave yours when Dr. S speaks.

"We will wean you slower. See how you do with this and let you rest more before trying the cannula again. You are on 8 liters right now, and I can't go up anymore after that... so if you start to struggle again we will have to go back to the bipap."

You nod, eyes drooping again as exhaustion overcomes you.

"Get some rest. I will be back to check on you soon."

The last thing you're aware of is blankets being tucked around you tightly and a kiss to your forehead.

**TOM**

Once Jane is back to sleep you call Ben immediately.

"Tom? Everything ok?" A slight urgency in his tone.

"Yes everything is fine. She's woken up."

"What?! Oh that's wonderful! How is she doing? Should we come down?"

"She is off the bipap, but just barely. They tried to put her back on her nasal cannula but it wasn't enough so they put her on a regular oxygen mask and she is on 8 liters. We will try the cannula again after she's had more rest and time to adjust to being off the bipap. But 8 liters is as high as they can go, so if she struggles again she will have to be back on bipap. She is sleeping again now so there is no rush to come over, but I'm sure she would love a visit. If she manages to be put back on the cannula she can be moved out of ICU and then we can begin the process of getting her listed for new lungs."

There were a few moments before Ben spoke again.

"I'm just so happy she's up. She'll get out of ICU, baby steps. Sophie and I will be there in a bit. Is there anything I can bring either of you?"

"No I don't think so. I will ring if I think of something though. I'll see you soon."

You return to your place by Jane's bed, taking her little hand in yours. Watching her chest rise and fall at her own pace, not a machines.

She was still pale, thin, a thin sheen of sweat covered her forehead, her face indicated she was still in pain, but she was back.

You got to speak with her after 4 days of just watching her little body fight, she opened her eyes. Eyes you thought you might not get to see again.

When Dr. S came back you would discuss her pain control and exactly what needs to be done to get her on that list as soon as possible.

This virus had put things into perspective of just how fragile Jane was. She was running out of time.


	25. Chapter 25

**JANE**

To say the last week has been exhausting, would be an understatement.

Ever since you were moved out of ICU it's been a constant stream of blood draws, scans, x-rays, tests, and visits from multiple doctors. But it had all been put on the top of the list due to your worsening condition and need for lungs. There would be a meeting where the transplant doctors would go over all your results and make a decision as to whether or not you are a candidate for lungs.

Tom was a nervous wreck, you could tell he wasn't sleeping.

Today Ben and Sophie were supposed to visit so you were going to try and convince Tom to go home for awhile and rest.

You scooch yourself up a bit and look over to see him reading a book. You reach for his hand and his sleepy blue eyes look over to you with a hint of worry.

"Everything ok, dear?"

You nod. "I'm ok, but you're not. I'm worried about you, Tom. You aren't getting any rest."

"Jane I'm alri-" You interrupt. "No you aren't. Now when Ben and Sophie get here, it would make me very happy if you went to the house and slept. In our nice comfortable bed. Please? For me?"

He sighs and looks at you for a moment before a small smile crosses his face. "Thank you for thinking of me. I'll go home for a few hours and try to nap."

You smile wide. "Thank you." You lean in and he kisses you gently before Ben and Sophie come in.

"Knock knock!" Sophie says gently.

"Hi Ben, hi Sophie. Come on in." Tom says as he stands and offers his chair to our pregnant friend.

She takes the seat with a grin after giving you a hug. Ben comes to the other side of you and gives you a kiss on the head.

"How are you feeling today?" Sophie asks.

"I'm kind of tired. But my appetite is a bit better, I managed a bowl of chicken noodle soup."

"That's great!" Ben says with a grin.

Tom speaks up now. "Jane has asked that I go home and rest for awhile while you both are here to watch out for her. Is that ok with you?"

"YES!" Ben and Sophie say in unison.

You giggle and smirk at Tom to prove your point that he needed rest.

"Alright alright I'll go. Thank you both. Call me if you need anything ok?" He comes inbetween you and Sophie for a quick kiss.

"I will. Now go and get some sleep." You say and he leaves the room.

Ben and Sophie brought some movies to watch. You decide on "10 Things I Hate About You".

You're fast asleep only minutes after it starts.

_**~ 7 days later~**_

**TOM**

Jane was sleeping, and you were pacing.

Dr. S said that he would be by shortly with the news of the transplant teams decision on whether or not Jane would be put on the list for lungs.

This decision literally meant life or death. As it is even if she's on the list, there's no guarantee she will get the call on time. But without it there is no chance for her. Her time was running out and running out fast.

You look over at her sleeping, she was struggling a bit. Her breaths nothing but shallow little rasps, her skin pale, her figure so thin. The woman you loved was fading away.

You turn to pace again and Dr. S was standing in the doorway.

"What did they say?" You say to him rather urgently.

A smile spreads across his face and he pulls a pager out of his pocket. "They said yes! This is her pager. When this goes off, that means there are lungs available."

You felt as though you were going to collapse with relief. "Oh my gosh... I can't believe it."

"That's not my only good news.. Not only is she on the list, she is number one for her blood type."

"I cannot thank you enough. Will you thank the team for me? Do I wake her up for this? What happens next? We just wait?" Suddenly your mind was going a thousand miles an hour. Dr. S chuckled.

"I think this news warrants waking her up. You can thank the team when they come up to talk to you about what will go on once the pager goes off. It is just a waiting game from here on out. If she doesn't get a call while she's still here, then you will just wait at home. She will still be here for awhile though, so she may just get the call here. Also, I've noticed her struggling while she sleeps so I am ordering for her to be on bipap overnight."

"I noticed that too, so I think that's a good idea. Thank you so much."

He just smiles and gives your hand a shake. "I'm so happy this worked out. I'll leave you alone to tell her."

Dr. S leaves and you turn to your sleeping wife. You go and sit at the edge of her bed and rub her shoulder. "Jane? Can you wake up for a moment?"

She stirs and turns to you, sleep still heavy in her features. "Mmmm?"

"The team made their decision." Her eyes go wide. "What did they say?"

You hold up the pager. "You're at the top of the list for your blood type."

She swings her arms around you and begins to cry. You squeeze her tightly and let a few tears fall aswell. " I can't believe it. Oh Tom, this might happen. I might be ok. I might get a second chance!"

You pull back and look into her eyes. "I love you so much, Jane."

"I love you, too."

A little while later you call Ben and Sophie and are greeted by screams from Sophie and quite a few hoorays from Ben.

That night you sleep beside Jane, her bipap attached and her breathing no longer a struggle, the monitors beeping and buzzing, and for the first time in over two weeks, you fall asleep with some hope.


	26. Chapter 26

**JANE**

Today marks two months in the hospital. Two long and difficult months. However it was almost over, you were set to be discharged tomorrow. Tom and Ben were at home setting things up for your arrival. Making room for your new bipap machine and the extra oxygen tanks and your shiny new wheelchair. Setting the living room up for more of a permanent spot for you seeing as it was a shorter walk to the restroom and kitchen.

Ben and Sophie had rented a house just down the street from you so they could help out with your care as much as they could.

Sophie was currently sitting with you while the boys set up the house. She was painting your nails for you, a light pink color. It was nice to have some girl time now that you were feeling a little more like yourself. A welcome distraction from the fact that your pager could go off at any minute.

"So how are you feeling? Your only about two or three months away from cumberbaby, right?" You ask with a grin.

Sophie gives a chuckle before answering. "Yes around then. I'm feeling ok. I'm a little tired more often and I have been craving strawberry cheesecake and ham and cheese sandwiches."

"Do you need to go home and rest? I'm fine. Tom is just silly with this babysitter thing."

"No no dear I'm fine. I slept in today. And I don't think it's all that silly. Wouldn't you feel better if he was with someone you trusted if he were in the hospital?"

She had a point, but after being in the hospital so long and so often, you were friends with all the staff. "Yes I suppose that's true."

Sophie twisted the cap back on the polish. "There all done."

You look down at your hands and feel a little prettier and more yourself. "Thank you Sophie. It feels good to be a little pretty again."

"You're welcome dear. I can do your hair too if you'd like."

"No no I'm ok. Maybe after we get home and I can use my nice shampoos and can have a hot shower."

"Not a problem. So how about some lunch? Want to order in?"

"Whatever you and cumberbaby want is fine with me."

She smiles and stands to go to the nurses station for the menu book.

You lean back, tired from simply sitting up. Having only 22% lung function was exhausting. Sophie waddled back into the room, her ever growing baby belly slowing her down a bit, and sat down next to you on the edge of the bed. Looking at you a bit curiously.

"You ok, dear?"

You nod. "Yes just a little tired. Can you order me the chicken and broccoli, please?"

She gives a light smile. "Of course. I'm feeling some sweet and sour chicken myself."

While Sophie orders your nurse comes in with your lunch medications and to do your vitals.

"How are you feeling, Jane?" She asks you while she puts on the blood pressure cuff.

"A little tired, but ok overall."

She nods with a smile, pressing buttons on the monitor. "That's what I like to hear. Your medicine is on your table for when your lunch arrives. And if you're done with the menu I can take it back."

You nod and then place your head back on the pillow, letting your eyes close for just a minute before Sophie speaks.

"Jane dear, why don't you take a little nap and I'll wake you when lunch is here?"

You nod slightly before drifting off to sleep.

**TOM**

Jane was napping while you were packing up the room you've spent the last month and a half in. Yesterday was spent preparing the house for Jane's arrival back home, with Ben's help of course.

Him and Sophie were currently back at the house for a little surprise welcome home for Jane.

As you zip up the final suitcase you sit and watch Jane sleep. Watch the shallow rise and fall of her chest, the pager clipped to the side of her leggings. You wish it would go off right here and now. It was impossible not to think about it. One little beep from that and your lives could change forever. Of course there's always the possibility of what they call a "dry run". Which is when the lungs are not suitable for transplantation. You hoped that wouldn't happen to you and Jane. To get things all set and ready only to have it come crashing down.

The nurse coming in with Jane's discharge papers brings you from those thoughts. You smile as you walk over to gently wake Jane from her sleep.

"Darling? It's time to go. The nurse is here with papers for you to sign and then we can go home."

She looks up at you sleepily and you help her to sit up at the end of the bed. She scribbles her signature and gives a smile at the nurse. "Thank you so much."

The nurse, whose name was Rose, gives a gentle smile back. "It was a pleasure taking care of you. I'm so thrilled you can go home. I'll help you to the car."

You go to help Jane to the wheelchair and Rose takes the handles and wheels her out of the room while you handle the suitcases.

After loading up the trunk you turn to thank Rose and help Jane into the car, and you see the look of joy on her face. A face that hasn't been outside those four hospital walls in two months. You hold back tears and thank Rose and get your wife in the car. After collapsing her wheelchair and fitting it in the backseat, you return to the drivers side and smile at her.

She leans in for a kiss which you gratefully return. "Take me home." She says softly before leaning back against the car seat.

Jane fights off sleep the whole way home, only dozing briefly a few times. You help her into the chair and wheel her in the door.

Ben and Sophie are standing under a "Welcome Home" banner with balloons and party hats on holding, Jane's favorite, carrot cake that read in bright green frosting "We Love Jane!".

Jane begins to cry and we all go in for a group hug.

After things are loaded in the house we all settle in for cake. Jane only manages a few bites when I notice her struggling to stay awake.

"Jane? You can finish your cake later, I think it's time for some rest. You've had quite a busy day."

She nods her head and hands me her plate of cake before snuggling into the pillows and blankets we set up. I scoot down to give her more space, her legs resting on my lap.

"Tom, could I bother you for my bipap? I'm fine, just like you said, busy day."

You look at her a moment in concern but don't notice her struggling badly.

"Of course." You say as you stand and go over to the little machine you setup beside the couch.

Jane is practically already asleep, so you help her take off the nasal cannula and strap on her bipap mask and turn it on before giving her a kiss on the forehead and tucking her in tighter before returning to your spot on the couch.

After cake, Ben and Sophie go back home to let us rest. I slip behind Jane and pull her to my chest. She doesn't even stir. I lay there, finally able to hold the woman I love and drift to sleep. Dreaming of the day her pager goes off and our new life begins.


	27. Chapter 27

**JANE**

It's been two long months since you were put on the list for a lung transplant. Two very long and stressful months.

Every time the phone rang or the oven timer went off Tom jumped, your hands immediately flew to the pager that was now a permanent fixture at your side.

Each day was harder. Harder to breathe, harder to get out of bed, harder to force yourself to eat the calories needed to maintain your weight, harder to participate in little things, harder to smile through the pain, harder to not give up.

Poor Tom was in charge of everything lately. Ben and Sophie were busy preparing for their little one which was due any day now.

He helped you dress yourself, wash yourself, made you your meals, brought you all your medicines and set up all your breathing treatments and oxygen tubing and tanks. He massaged your back when you got spasms from coughing so aggressively.

You had called Sophie and asked if Ben could take him out for an afternoon of guy things. Just so he could get a break. Sophie was eager for the two to get out for a bit and to be able to spend one on one time with you before the baby came.

Tom was all for it until the morning of.

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea. You don't feel well and I'm nervous leaving you. Ben and I can go another day." He said from the kitchen as he was preparing breakfast.

"Tom dear, everything will be fine. You deserve some time out of the house. The little cumberbaby will be here any day now. I want some time with Sophie and you want some time with Ben before they get to busy. Sophie will be here with me and I promise to call if either of us need anything. Please go and have a good time."

His lips smoothed into a thin line as he thought for a moment before giving a small smile. "Alright, but you must promise to call if you need me."

"I promise." You said as he made his way to the couch with two plates of eggs and bacon.

Once you managed half of your breakfast Tom helped you to the bedroom so you could change. Exhausted and out of breath from the short walk from living room to bedroom you sat on the bed, trying to catch your breath, while Tom gathered some clean clothes.

Coming back from the closet and sitting beside you on the bed, he took your cold hands in his and looked at you with concern in his eyes.

"Jane? Deep, slow breaths, love."

You nodded and concentrated on your breathing.

After a few moments you heard the front door open and Ben's voice. "We're here!"

Tom looked over to you. "Darling do you want me to go cancel? I don't feel right leaving you. You really aren't feeling well."

You shook your head and took a deep and steady breath. "No no, just go tell them it will be a moment. I'm alright. Just a bit of a rough morning."

Tom opened his mouth as if he was going to argue, but just sighed and made his way to the living room.

You slowly started removing your clothes, finding it extremely difficult as you were simply exhausted.

Tom returned a minute later and helped you the rest of the way. Lifting you up and carrying you to the living room once you were finished.

Sophie was seated on one end of the couch, while Ben sat beside her. Tom set you down on the opposite end of the couch and Ben handed you your many blankets that he was sitting beside.

"How are you today, Jane?" Sophie asked a little nervously.

"I've felt better. But I'll be fine. How about you and the little one?"

Ben chuckled a bit and Sophie gave him a glare before answering. "I am very tired, the little one, not so much. I am soooo ready for the little one to be out of there. And not just because I'm tired, huge, and cranky. I'm just so excited to meet our baby!"

You grinned from ear to ear. "I'm excited to meet the cumberbaby too! Tell the little one to hurry up!"

Ben sighed at that. "Oh believe me, we have. Any day now they say! Well, why don't we leave you two ladies to have your girl time while Tom and I go do men's things. Chop down trees, build cars, wrestle a bear. That sort of thing! Right, Tom?"

Tom gave a nice loud laugh before coming to give you a kiss on the cheek. "I love you. Don't hesitate to call me."

"I love you, too. Neither of you can get eaten by a bear. A nine month old pregnant woman, and one who can't breathe, won't make it too long without our men!"

Sophie gave a laugh and gave Ben a kiss. "Behave you, two. Have fun. We'll call if we need anything."

Once gone Sophie and you picked out a chick flick on Netflix and settled in. Within just a few minutes you were asleep.

**TOM**

You and Ben had been gone for a few hours now and hadn't heard from the girls yet. A part of that made you nervous.

Ben had planned to go to a car show that was in town. We had a good time at that and were now on our way to our favorite burger shop.

Deciding to distract yourself from thinking about why Jane hadn't called, you struck up some conversation.

"So are you excited that your little baby will be arriving soon?" You ask with a grin.

"I'm very excited! I'm a little nervous as I haven't the first clue about parenting, but I know it's just one of those things you figure out along the way."

"You and Sophie will do wonderfully. I hope I get the opportunity to be a father one day."

Ben looks at you as if that had never crossed his mind. "Will Jane be able? After her transplant?"

"She may be, but it is still such a stress on her little body it's hard to say. We've decided not to discuss much until after transplant. Adoption is something to consider."

"Does Jane want to be a mother as well?"

"She does. But she is terrified of the possibility she may not see the child grow, that she may leave the child motherless and then leave me as a single parent. Or that she won't be able to do much and that I'll have to care for her and the child. I feel so horribly that she has those thoughts."

Ben shakes his head slightly. "I can't even imagine. Poor thing."

You just nodded, going to say something before Ben's phone rang.

"It's Sophie. She probably has some sort of craving." He mentioned before answering the call.

"Hello darling."

You saw Ben's eyes go wide.

"Are you certain?! Ok ok ok, we're on our way!"

"Ben, what's going on? Is everything alright?" I asked anxiously.

"Sophie's water broke!" He said with a look of both panic and excitement.

A smile came across your face. "Alright! You're about to be a daddy! Let's get home!"

We paid and rushed to the car, I drove as quickly and as safely as I could. We weren't far so we made it back home in fifteen minutes.

The second the car was parked and in the drive Ben leaped out of the car and into the house, I wasn't far behind.

Sophie seemed rather calm. She was laughing at Ben's hysterics. Sophie was sat on the couch with the to-go bag in her lap. Her eyes were bright and there was a smile on her face, but I could tell she still wasn't feeling well.

I went to give Sophie a hug and a kiss. "You're going to do great, dear. Would you like me to drive?" I said eyeing Ben.

She smiled softly at me. "No we will make it there fine. You stay here with Jane until the little one arrives. No need for her to sit in the waiting room."

Jane pipes up from the couch. "There's no way I'm waiting here!" She starts to stand and slowly makes her way towards Sophie and Ben.

Ben is closer than I am and wraps an arm around her waist to help steady her. He gives her a hug and a kiss on the cheek before guiding her towards Sophie.

The two best friends embrace each other tightly. "Jane dear, I know you aren't feeling well today. Labor can take hours. At least stay home until it looks like it's about time for your little cumberbaby to be born?"

Jane smiled weakly, considering an argument, but simply nodded. A few small tears falling down her cheeks.

"I love you. If you want me there any sooner call me, ok?"

"Of course. I love you, too. Now get some rest."

Sophie kissed Jane on the forehead and then took Ben's hand.

I quickly made my way to Jane's side, she leaned into me grateful for the support.

We stood in the doorway waving as they made their way into the car.

Once they were gone I looked down at Jane who was struggling a bit and scooped her up.

I sat on the couch with her in my lap, her phone clutched tightly in her hand.

"Did you have a good afternoon?" She mumbled weakly, already half asleep.

"I did. Did you?"

"I fell asleep right after you left. I felt so bad. I'm so tired of this. I just want that pager to go off.."

I kissed the top of her hand, hugging her closer to my chest. "I do, too. But it just means the perfect pair of lungs isn't ready yet. Your time will come, love. Until then you have nothing to feel bad about."

She was mostly asleep now. "I love you, Tom."

"I love you too, Jane."

I held her while she slept, waiting for word on the new little member of our family to arrive.


	28. Chapter 28

_Authors note: Thank you to my new followers- CrazzieLizzie, Akima NL, cheryl72 ! _

**TOM**

You were now in the waiting room at the hospital. Eager to meet Ben and Sophie's little baby.

Jane was still not feeling well, though was pushing it aside until the little one was finally born. She sat beside you in her wheelchair, reading a magazine, a slight wheeze in her breath.

"Jane, please don't be mad at me dear, but I can hear you struggling to breath. Maybe after things are settled here, we should call Dr. S?"

She gives a little sigh before turning to you. "I know, Tom. I just don't want to miss any of this. I want to try and give it the weekend, and then call if things aren't better." She stares back at you with a sadness in her eyes. Eyes that hoped not to miss any more moments being trapped inside those four hospital walls. Eyes that knew that wasn't going to happen. Not yet.

"That sounds like a good idea." Before you could say anything else, out walks Ben with a smile like you'd never seen.

Jane sits up in her chair, grinning ear to ear, waiting for Ben to reach you both.

"It's a boy!" He announces giving hugs to each of you.

"Congrats, Ben!" You say with such joy. Beyond happy for your best friend. "Can we see him?!" Jane pipes up from her chair.

"Of course! He can't wait to meet his auntie Jane and uncle Tom!" He says as he turns down the hall towards Sophie's room. You push Jane close behind.

You round the corner and see Sophie cradling her son in her arms.

You wheel Jane next to Sophie's bed and stand beside her, marveling at the baby boy in her arms. Sophie looks towards Jane and then you, smiling and absolutely glowing with pride. "Jane and Tom, meet Christopher." She says softly. Ben sits beside her on the bed, grinning at his boy.

"He's just darling." Jane says, her voice cracking slightly.

"Would you like to hold him?" Sophie asks. "Of course!" Jane squeals. Ben takes Christopher from her arms and walks to the other side of the bed to pass him over to Jane.

Once in her arms, you crouch beside her to better look at him. He honestly is one of the most beautiful things you've seen. And while you're exploding with joy for your friends, you can't help but be a little sad that this moment may never happen for you and your wife. Looking into Jane's eyes, you can see that she is feeling the same.

Jane turns to me, breaking me from my thoughts. "Do you want to hold him now?" You nod and carefully move him from her arms to yours. You weren't sure how long you were holding him, it wasn't until Jane started coughing that you stopped looking at the babe in your arms.

"Are you alright?"

She gasps slightly to catch her breath. "Yeah, but I'm sure these guys are absolutely exhausted. Why don't we go and let them rest?"

"And get some yourself." Sophie says with some worry.

Ben comes over to take little Christopher back and return him to his mothers arms. You give hugs and congratulations and then make your way back out to the car.

"Are you sure you're feeling ok, Jane?" You ask as you help her into her seat.

"Yes I'm fine. Just tired and a little achey. Nothing horrible."

You just nod and make your way around to your side of the car. The ride home was silent. You each were avoiding talking about the complicated feelings of seeing and holding little Christopher.

Once home you help Jane inside and hook her to the concentrator. You decide to make you each a snack and watch a movie to unwind and relax.

"How about 21 and 22 Jump Street? I'm in the mood for a comedy." Jane says as she sits on the floor beside the DVD collection.

"That sounds like a good idea. I'll make the popcorn."

Once the snack is done you go and sit beside Jane and her many blankets and pull her in close. "I love you, Jane." She squeezes you around the waste. "I love you too, Tom." And that was all that was said, and all that needed to be said. You started the movie and cuddled and laughed. Both of your previous sorrows momentarily forgotten.

**JANE**

Today was the day that Ben and Sophie got to bring Christopher home. Despite feeling utterly terrible, you and Tom woke up early to go to the party store to decorate the house and surprise them with.

"Are you sure you're up for this? You know their feelings won't be hurt if they don't come home to a banner and blue balloons." Tom says from the drivers seat on your way to the store.

"Tom, I'm doing this. I am not going to let this rule my life. I don't feel well, but it's ok. I will call Dr. S tomorrow and go in for antibiotics. I appreciate you're concern, but I will be fine one more day. I want to do something nice for our friends who have helped us so much."

"I'm just worried is all. I understand though, so let's give them a nice surprise then shall we?" He smiles.

Tom pushes you through the store with a shopping basket sat in your lap. You get the classic 'It's A Boy!' banner, some baby blue balloons, and check out quickly. Then making your way to the bakery to pick up some cup cakes with baby blue frosting.

Once at the house Tom hangs the banner and starts blowing up balloons and you tie them and then scatter them about along with placing a few gifts you bought for them in the living room. Once done with that Tom helps you in the kitchen to set up the cupcakes and plates. You feel a headache start and look at your phone, they should be home anytime now.

Tom looks down at you with concern. "Do you need something, love? You look a tad bit pale." You nod your head. "Some tylenol please? I have quite the headache."

He reaches into a cupboard and grabs you tylenol and pours a glass of water. "Dr. S says that headaches are often a sign of lack of oxygen. Do you feel lightheaded or dizzy? Any harder to breathe than usual?"

You take the tylenol before answering. "No I don't think so. I'm probably just tired. It shouldn't be long now, I'll be fine. Thank you though."

Before anything else can be said, you see their car pull into the drive. Tom quickly wheels you to your spot underneath the banner and stands beside you. Excitement takes your mind of the headache. Once the door opens you and Tom speak gently, "Welcome home, Christopher!"

Ben and Sophie's faces lit up, Sophie carrying the baby and Ben with the carrier and overnight bag. "Oh you guys, I love it. This is wonderful. Thank you so so much!" Sophie says as she makes her way towards you each for a hug. You kiss little Christopher on top of his head.

"How are you feeling?" You ask, looking up to her clearly exhausted features. "Oh we're ok. Rather tired, but happy to be home with him finally. How about you? Still feeling a bit off?" She asks, Ben returning to her side after putting a few things away.

"I'm going to call Dr. S tomorrow about an admission. But today isn't about me, it's about you guys. Let's have some cake and open presents, yeah?" You say with a weak smile. Trying to take your mind off the headache that continued to grow.

Once everyone has their cake Ben and Sophie start opening some gifts. Christopher asleep in his carrier between them. You felt nauseous at the site of your cupcake and set it on the table beside you. Tom watching your every move notices, but says nothing.

Christopher begins crying and that's when it feels like your head is going to explode. Tom looks to you and knows you need to leave. "Well, I think it's about time we leave, I know how exhausted you both are." Tom says, you're grateful he doesn't say it's due to your health.

Ben stands and Tom follows. "We are, and I'm sure you two could use some rest after getting this set up. Thank you both so much." He gives you each a hug, Sophie smiles from the couch, a crying Christopher still in her arms. "Yes thank you both! Get some rest now. Love you!"

You just smile and wave, not sure if you would be able to open your mouth without screaming in pain. Tom helps you into the car and then get's in himself, turning to you immediately. "Jane what's wrong? Your headache?"

You just nod.

"Do you want me to go home? To the hospital? How bad is it?"

"Hospital." You mumble. Giving in to the pain, tears start to fall, leaving you a bit lightheaded. Tom wastes no time and heads in the direction of the hospital. You close your eyes, hoping it will help with the dizziness. It wasn't long before you were there and Tom was lifting you from your car seat to your wheelchair, practically jogging inside.

You felt almost weightless, the pain in your head still strong, but the dizzy and foggy feeling almost more of a distraction now. With eyes still shut, you hear Tom at the counter checking in. "Hello my name is Tom and this is my wife Jane. She has Cystic Fibrosis and is a patient of Dr. Smolders and is on the lung transplant list. She's been having a very rough week and today experienced a horrifying headache." He sounds rushed and worried, but determined.

"Are there any other symptoms?" The nurse asks. You open your eyes to find Tom and tell him of the new strange feelings. He kneels in front of you quickly. "Jane, do you feel anything else besides the headache?" You nod weakly and mumble, you're voice sounding far away. "Lightheaded..."

The last thing you remember before everything going dark is Tom holding your face and saying your name.


	29. Chapter 29

**TOM**

It has been since Jane was admitted to the hospital. She had passed out due to lack of oxygen, just like you thought. She was admitted immediately and spent 24hrs attached to her bi-pap. The next day she woke rather confused, but overall felling better. The abundance of antibiotics already kicking in.

Dr. S was pleased with her surprising improvement and was confident that she could continue the IV's at home.

You were packing and Jane was on the phone with Sophie, asking dozens of questions about Christopher. Ben had informed you that they were getting into a routine and loving every second with the baby.

Once Jane was off the phone she signs the discharge papers and you wheel her and the luggage out to the car.

As soon as she is outside she takes a deep breath and smiles wide. "Mmmmm fresh air!"

You get home and begin setting up everything for IV's, Jane watches you for a moment before standing on wobbly legs and shuffling off towards the kitchen.

"What do you need, darling?" You ask from the living room. She turns to you and gives a little smile. "I want to cook you some dinner."

"Are you sure that's such a good idea? I figured we'd just order in tonight." You say with a hint concern in voice.

"Tom, I want to try. You're always doing things for me, I want to cook you some dinner." She says with determination before continuing her trek to the kitchen.

You sigh with an uncertain smile and carry on with setting up her med supplies. You can't imagine how it must feel to not be able to do anything, and you understood her desire to do something for you, but you were not just worried if she were able, but how hurt she would be if she tried and failed. That would absolutely crush her.

You remain in the living room busying yourself but constantly looking over to see how she was doing. Her struggling didn't seem to be too bad, but you noticed a difference. She seemed to be making a soup of some sort.

Soon enough you were done setting up and wandered over to the kitchen. "Well, I'm finished setting up all of the supplies. Do you need help with anything? How are you feeling?"

She turns away from the pot on the stove and gives you a weak smile. "I'm doing alright. Dinner will be a half hour or so. Why don't you go pick out a movie for us to watch while we eat?"

You nod and turn to the living room, knowing full well she wasn't going to let you help her. You pick one of her favorites, "Pretty Woman" and then head to the bedroom to get some things ready for a quick shower.

You shower at the speed of light, not wanting to be away from her in case she should need you, but you know if you sit and hover anxiously she will get upset.

Once out you go to the kitchen and notice her pouring soup into bowls. The house smelled lovely. "Mmmmm smells delicious, love. What is it?"

"Broccoli potato soup." She says with a tired grin. You can see she is exhausted and you help her to the couch and then go back for the food.

You hand her bowl of soup and dinner roll and sit beside her, watching her carefully. You give her kiss on the cheek. "Thank you so much, Jane. This looks great."

She just gives you a smile and then turns to eat and you start the movie and then do the same. It truly was delicious, after a few minutes you turn to compliment her only to find her fast asleep with her bowl in her lap.

You take it from her and take it to the counter, turning up her oxygen before returning to the couch. You tuck the blankets tightly around her and finish your soup before it's time to start her IV's.

**JANE**

You've been home for a few days now and still feeling better so Ben and Sophie were bringing Christopher over for a visit. You were so excited to see them again, you haven't seen them since you were admitted tot he hospital.

Tom was unhooking your IV when there was knock on the door. "Come on in!" You shout from your spot on the couch.

Ben and Sophie came in, carrying a sleeping little Christopher. Tom was done and both stood to give hugs, you feel a little dizzy once you stand and sway, Tom steadies you and looks at you with concern.

You give him a look that says you're ok and then walk over to give them each a hug. "How are you feeling, dear?" Ben asks as he bends down to give you a gentle hug. "I'm doing ok. How are you doing papa Cumberbatch?"

He gives a chuckle before answering. "I love it. And I haven't done anything terribly stupid yet so I'd call it a win so far."

You smile at him and then make your way towards Sophie and Christopher. Giving the baby kiss on his head before embracing Sophie in a tight hug. "I've missed you!"

"I've missed you, too. I'm glad you're feeling better." Sophie says as she pulls away. Still feeling a bit dizzy, you sit back down and pull your blankets back over your lap. Ben and Tom sit in the chairs across the room, giving you and Sophie the couch. She sits next at you and looks over. "You want to hold him?"

You nod quickly and hold out your arms excitedly, she carefully passes him over to you, gentle so as not to wake him.

You spend time quietly catching up, learning all the little things Christopher has done and looking at countless pictures. Every so often you find yourself tuning out and just getting lost watching the beautiful baby in your arms.

At some point you fall asleep, you're not sure how long you're asleep but a strange noise wakes you up.

You open your eyes to see Ben, Tom, and Sophie staring at you, eyes wide.

It takes you moment before you realize what the noise is and where it's coming from.

It was a beeping noise, and it was coming from your pager.

_Authors note: Aahhh another cliff hanger! Please don't hate me for it! I'm sorry for the short chapter and lack of updates, it's been rather difficult for me to find time to write! Rest assured, I am not giving up! I love this story and the response it's gotten. Thank you to everyone who reads this little story! And thank you to Mich89 for favoriting! I'm hoping to have another update soon. Hang in there!_


	30. Chapter 30

_ Authors note: Thank you damaged item for the follow and favorites!  
_

**TOM**

It seemed as though, for a moment, time stopped, and then everything happened all at once.

One minute Jane was asleep with little Christopher in her arms, and then we heard a beeping and she woke.

It took a moment to realize that it was coming from her pager, and once that realization sunk in, it all happened so quickly.

Jane was looking at me with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. Sophie took Christopher and I walked over to Jane as she fumbled with shaky hands to find the beeping pager in her pocket.

Once in her grasp the tears fell from her eyes and all three of us enveloped her in a large hug. No words were spoken. Just comfort. Sophie was crying when we pulled back, I grabbed the pager from Jane's hands and gave her a kiss. "I'm going to call" I said as I stood to call the transplant team. Ben took my spot and was rubbing calming circles on her back.

Someone answered on the first ring. "Hello, transplant center, how can I help you?"

"Hi! Yes um my wife is on the list for a double lung transplant and her pager just went off. I was told to call this number."

"Can I have the patients name, please?"

"Jane Hiddleston."

After just a moment, the woman spoke again and I could hear a smile in her voice. "Yes it's right here, they have a pair of lungs for her. You need to start making your way here as soon as possible. There's a lot that still needs to be done."

You felt as if your heart was going to burst from your chest. This was it. It was happening. Jane was going to get a lung transplant.

"O-o-k.. we'll be there shortly! Thank you so much!" And you hang up and rush to Jane, lifting her into your arms easily. She wraps her arms around you tightly and she sobs into your neck, mumbling a few words inbetween gasps. "This isn't a dream, Tom. My second chance is happening."

"Darling, I have such a wonderful feeling, but please remember what they told us about dry runs."

You set her down and she nods, wiping her eyes. "I know. I just have this feeling that this is it."

You squeeze her hand and look back to Ben and Sophie who were watching with wide smiles on their faces. Ben speaks up first, excitement in his voice. "What can we do? Do you need help packing? Do you need us to drive you?"

You look towards him. "Actually, we have a to go bag. And I think I'll manage to drive. There are many many tests to run before we'll even know anything. Why don't you two take Christopher home and rest and we will call you once we know more and when it get's closer to surgery?"

Jane looks to them and nods. "Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. Right now we need to just get this show on the road!"

Ben and Sophie rush over to give hugs and kisses before leaving, Jane and I weren't far behind. I switched her over to her portable oxygen tank, loaded up the wheelchair and grabbed the to go bag and we were off.

The ride was quiet, I was concentrating hard on not speeding the whole way there and Jane was trying to remain calm. I looked over and could see she was already exhausted, unfortunately there wouldn't be much time for her to rest.

We made it there and I got her in her chair and rushed inside. Checking in the front desk and going to a different floor than we were used to. Jane was told to change into a hospital gown, which her exhaustion caused her to need my help doing so. From that it was a constant stream of nurses and specialists and doctors. Getting her port accessed, x-rays, getting fluids started, many blood draws, etc.

Jane was taking this all so well, listening intently to everyone who spoke, asking questions I wouldn't have even thought of, signing all the papers they put in front of her, I was amazed at how she was keeping herself together.

Finally, after hours of tests and questions and information, it was a short waiting game while a few final tests on the donor lungs were done to make sure they were suitable for transplant. I messaged Ben and Sophie and suggested that they should start getting ready to head over, as once the lungs were given the okay she would be taken to surgery.

Jane was able to get some much needed rest, her little body giving in to her physical and emotional exhaustion. I crawled into bed beside her and pulled her tiny frame to mine, holding her in my arms.

Though this surgery was a huge blessing, and gave us so much hope for the future, gave Jane a future, it was still a major surgery with many risks. I wanted to spend what little time I had left holding her while I could. Just in case something should go wrong.

You weren't sure how long you'd been laying like that, you'd managed to doze slightly. Just as you were waking up a familiar face walks in, Dr. S.

"Hello there, how are we doing?" He says with a large grin on his face.

You gently shake Jane awake while answering his question. "We're doing great. Just waiting for word on whether the lungs are good. Jane dear wake up, someones here to see you."

She stirs in your arms before opening her eyes, looking into yours with exhaustion still etched in her features, yet a smile comes across her face. She turns from you and see's Dr. S and she sits up and grins even wider. "Hi!"

He gives a chuckle and goes over to give her a warm hug. "Hello, Jane. How are you? Excited?"

"I'm trying not to get too excited, I want to wait and hear if they're good or not. But yes, I'm very excited for this possibility." She grins.

"Well, that's actually while I'm here. The tests came back great. They are prepping the OR now so it won't be long before someone comes to take you to surgery. Congratulations!"

You felt tears well up in your eyes and you look to Jane, hand covering her mouth and tears streaming down her face. You pull her to your chest and you both cry for a moment. This was truly happening now. Jane was going to know what it was like to breathe, to run, to sing, to live life. She was going to get a second chance.

Dr. S waited a moment before speaking again. "Now, while I'm not a part of the transplant team, I am still your doctor so I will still be a part of your recovery. So I'll see you when you're done, okay? Good luck in there, Jane. You're one of the strongest women I know, you can do this no problem."

He gives her another hug and shakes your hand before leaving with a smile. You and Jane still hold each other. Her little voice speaks up from her place in your arms. "This is it, Tom." You smile and kiss the top of her head. "This is it." You say back.

Moments later Ben and Sophie walk in, Christopher in his carrier, taking in the scene before them. Jane turns from your arms and grins wide. "I'm gonna get new lungs!"

They rush over embracing you both in tight hugs and tears of joy. You stay like that for awhile before a nurse and members from the transplant team come in.

"Alright, the OR is all ready for you."

Jane nods and Sophie and Ben embrace her even tighter. "I love you both so much. I'll see you when I'm out, okay? Give Christopher a hug and a kiss from his auntie." Sophie nods her head, cheeks red and tears running down her face. "I will. See you soon. I love you, Jane." "We will be here for you when you wake. Now go kick some transplant ass! Love you, darling." Ben says with a few tears in his eyes, but enthusiasm on his face. Jane giggles at his words and smiles at him wide before turning to you.

They each step back and let you and Jane have a moment. You sit beside her on the bed and look into her eyes, not a hint of fear in them. Just excitement and hope. She places her cold little hand on your cheek and pulls you in for a deep and passionate kiss. You take her face in your hands, bumping the nasal cannula that would soon be a thing of the past. You break away and hold her one last time, she rubs her hands up and down your back. "You are the love of my life, Tom. I'm so excited to start this new life with you." You suck in a breath, hoping your voice doesn't come out as broken and scared as you feel. "I will be here when you wake, my love."

You each pull away and look in each others eyes another moment. You stand from the bed, giving her hand one last squeeze. "I love you." You both say quietly.

"Are we ready?" The nurse asks her.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Jane says and then her bed is pushed out of the room, her hand falling from yours. You follow into the hallway and watch as she gets pushed through large silver doors. She turns one last time and blows a kiss before the doors close and she's gone.

You turn away from them after a moment and breakdown into Ben and Sophie's arms as they lead you to the waiting room.

Jane would either come out with a new life, or that would be the last time you'll ever have seen her.

**JANE**

You could tell Tom was afraid. It was plain in his features, but he tried his best to put on a brave face for you. It wasn't until the large doors shut behind you and you couldn't see him anymore that you felt nervous. Not even necessarily nervous for you, but for Tom. He was going to be a wreck during the whole surgery, which could be anywhere from 9 to 16 hours. The poor thing would be exhausted. Not to mention, what if something should happen? He will be alone.

You try to push these thoughts from your mind and focus on all the good things that will come from this. You and him could travel, he would be able to continue his acting, you could return to your writing and journalism, and maybe even look into adoption.

You were pulled from your thoughts when you were pushed through another large set of doors into the operating room. It was filled with the faces of your transplant team and you smile nervously and wave at them. "Hi" You manage to squeak, and they return with a few "Hello's" and then begin setting up.

A nurse comes over and helps you onto the operating table. Once there you are being attached to familiar monitors. You were laying down while the surgeons, doctors, nurses and anesthesiologists bustled about you getting the final things set up before the surgery would begin.

You just stared at the bright ceiling and tried to take deep calming breaths, the ache you felt after each breath would soon be over. The feeling of sandpaper scraping with each inhale would be nothing but a memory. You smiled at this. Suddenly a man appeared in your field of vision. "Jane, I'm going to start the drugs that will start putting you to sleep, alright?" You nod and feel the cool liquid rush through your veins and your body starts to feel heavy.

The man reappears and removes your cannula and replaces it with the familiar oxygen mask. "We're going to take good care of you. Be sure to have good dreams, alright?"

You nod weakly as your eyelids droop, a smile on your face as a faint whisper leaves your lips. "I love you, Tom."

And then everything goes black.


	31. Chapter 31

_Authors Note: Thank you to everyone who's recently followed, favorited, and reviewed! It brings the biggest smile to my face!_

**TOM**

_4 hours._

Sophie had taken the baby home to rest for a little bit, and Ben had gone to the cafeteria to get dinner before they closed down for the night. You refused to leave the waiting room in fear that someone would come to give you an update and you'd miss them. You were currently pacing and repeatedly checking the clock and the nurses station, almost in a pattern.

Why has no one said anything yet? They said someone would be by to update you frequently. You wanted so badly to go and ask the nurse at the desk, but you weren't sure if she even received such updates.

Your legs start to feel sore so you decide to sit and try and pay some attention to the sitcom that was on the television. It didn't work. No matter how hard you tried to relax a bit and not panic, focus on something else, your mind went straight back to Jane.

Ben returning to his seat beside you brought you from your frantic thoughts for a moment. He turns to you with a sandwich and grins.

"Heard anything, yet?" He asks hopeful.

"Not yet. I'm worried, Ben. Why hasn't anyone said anything yet? What's going on?" You say nervously as you unwrap the sandwich. You don't want it, but you know you have to eat something.

"Try not to worry, I'm sure there's just nothing to update us on yet. I mean they told us these things take many hours, they're just working. I'm sure we'll have an update soon." He says with a small smile but worry in his eyes.

You nod as you force a bite of the sandwich down. Your pocket buzzes and you find a text from Chris, asking for an update that you didn't have. You sigh and shove the phone back in your pocket, deciding to answer him once you've finished eating.

Just as you finish and take your phone out to return his message, a tall woman wearing scrubs and a hair net approaches you. You stand and take two long strides towards her, Ben right behind you.

"Are you, Tom?"

"Yes, yes I am. How is Jane doing?" You ask with slight urgency.

"As you know, these things can take time. It's been five hours, but we've just gotten the first lung transplanted. Her right lung. It took longer than expected due to the amount of infection and the overall condition of her lungs. We anticipate the next one to take just as long."

You give a sigh of relief. "How is she faring?"

"This surgery is very complex and the more complicated the situation the bigger the strain on her body. Especially in a condition such as hers. We've hit a few blips here and there as far as blood pressure or maintaining her oxygen level to what it needs to be, but nothing critical. Considering the circumstances she's doing better than expected."

You feel your stomach churn slightly but you just nod. "Thank you so much. Can I expect the next update in about another 5 hours?"

"Unless things go smoother with the left lung, yes that's our estimate. After the left lung is in, we will double check that there is no bleeding coming from anywhere and then see that the lungs are working properly before we sew her up and move her to ICU. But we will let you know as soon as the left lung is in and then again when we are moving her. After that you'll be able to see her."

"Thank you very much." You smile at her. She returns your smile and nods before turning to go back through those heavy doors. Back to Jane.

Your brain is swirling. Jane had one new lung. There were little problems, but she said nothing critical. That made you nervous, but you were glad it was nothing too serious. A pat on the back startled you and you turn to see Ben standing there with a large grin.

You'd forgotten he was there for a moment. He pulls you in for a hug. "She's halfway there!" You hadn't thought of it like that, it puts a smile to your face. You nod at Ben and then return pacing and get your phone to text Chris. Ben already sitting back down and on the phone Sophie. Telling her to stay home, that it will most likely be more than 5 hours before surgery is finished.

A moment later Chris texts back expressing his joy and a request to keep him updated.

_9 hours._

You're nerves only seemed to build by the second. Each second being closer to when you should hear the words you've been waiting for. That Jane's double lung transplant had been a success.

Ben, bless him, had tried his damnedest to keep you occupied with conversation, bringing you candy and chips from the vending machine, getting you a refill on your coffee often, even returning from the gift shop with a stuffed bear for Jane and a deck of cards for you and him to play.

It was the last thing you wanted to do, but you smiled and thanked him and began shuffling the cards. Deciding on a simple game of go fish, knowing you wouldn't be able to focus enough to play anything else.

Sophie texted Ben every hour on the hour to ask if there was any news. Ben sighed each time and mumbled about the fact that she was not getting any rest.

Resisting the urge to look back at the clock, you just agree with Ben, a slight smirk on your lips, and begin shuffling the cards.

_11 hours._

You were pacing again. Ben even joining you for a short while. Why hasn't that nurse come back? Has something gone wrong?

You were beginning to fall apart. About to go the nurse at the front desk in a panic, you turn to find the same nurse from before coming towards you. Ben was by your side instantly as you both approached her.

"Both lungs are in." She says with a smile.

You grab your chest, and release a breath you didn't know you were holding. Ben quickly grabs you into a tight, but fast, hug. You accept it gratefully, trying to hold in the tears forming in your eyes. However, you quickly turn back to the nurse for more information.

"Did she do alright? It took a little longer than you originally thought." You say, your voice thick with the tears that threaten to spill down your cheeks.

"It did take a bit longer than we thought. The left lung showed us the same difficulty as the right, putting more strain on Jane's body and sending it into some stress. We had more challenges with her blood pressure and oxygen levels than with the first lung. She remained stable throughout, but it took a little more work during that second half of the surgery. Right now she's still struggling a bit but now that things are mostly over her body should start to relax and start returning to normal, so to speak."

You nod and feel queasy. Knowing Jane was, is, struggling, made you nervous and feel a pain in your chest knowing that there was nothing you could do. Her little body under that amount of stress was hard to think of.

"Does this mean anything different for her recovery?" You ask around the lump that remained in your throat.

"Usually after transplant we like to try and get them off sedation and the ventilator as soon as possible to get those lungs working on their own, but in cases of the body being in distress, like Jane's, we give the body time to recover from that stress. She will be sedated and breathing with the help of the ventilator for 24 hours to give her body time to rest. We may adjust the levels of the ventilator to get her lungs working a little, but nothing that will over exert her, and keeping her sedated will help. After she wakes up it's hard to say. I've seen cases like hers that are smoother sailing then patients who are in and out of surgery within 7 hours, I've also seen some suffer from setbacks and struggle a bit. But there's just no telling. It all depends how her body accepts the lungs and how her body deals with such a intense procedure. Judging by how very fragile she is, I would expect a few bumps in the road. But she's obviously a very strong woman and I have no doubt she will power through. Your wife had the worst lungs I've seen in my 10 years of working on the transplant team. I couldn't believe she was living with them. I can't imagine what she must have felt having those in her body. And the ones that took their place have been some of the healthiest lungs I've seen. She's very lucky she got her call when she did, and got the lungs she did."

Finally the tears fell. Knowing the struggles she would no longer face, and the struggles that were coming was such a mix of emotion that you couldn't hold it in. The news that she was living the worst lungs that the nurse, who's done countless transplants, has ever seen came as a shock. Hearing that she couldn't believe she was alive with them and that she was lucky she got her call when she did struck fear inside you. What if she hadn't gotten the call today? Well, yesterday actually. Would she have been here next week? The thought terrified you. But then the news that she's received such a healthy pair of new lungs filled you with such hope and joy that left you feeling as though you could burst. It was such a confusing stream of emotions.

You collect yourself, Ben's hand never leaving it's firm grip on your shoulder, and look back up to the nurse who had a sweet smile on her face.

"I can't even begin to tell you how thankful I am for this." You say with a slight crack in your voice.

"I'm so happy to have been on this case and journey with you and your wife. You're truly some of the most sincere and genuinely lovely people I've met." She smiles before continuing.

"Now, I have to get back and help get her ready for transport to ICU, it should be no more than an hour. The nurse she's assigned will come and get you when she's on her way so you can be there when she arrives at her room."

"Thank you." You say again.

She smiles wide before turning back towards the OR.

You turn to Ben and he gives you another bear hug. "She did it, Ben." You say against his shoulder, letting more tears fall.

"Of course she did. I'd expect nothing less from that little firecracker." He says with a smile in his voice.

"Now, I'm going to go call Sophie with this wonderful news and tell her to come on down and you should probably message Chris."

You nod and you each take a seat in the little waiting room chairs. For the first time, you don't feel the need to pace.

You message Chris and he responds instantly with congratulations. You can faintly hear Sophie's cheers from Ben's phone beside you.

You lean your head back against the wall, pushing away the worries that still remain, and focusing on the future you and Jane would now have.

_12 hours._

Sophie and Christopher had arrived and she greeted you with a hug, that was much stronger than you had expected, and tears of joy.

You kiss her on the cheek and the four of you now sit and wait for the final word that it was all over.

Only minutes later, did a different nurse in bright scrubs and blonde hair, come towards you with a grin.

"Hello I'm Bridget, I'll be Jane's nurse. She's on her way up from the OR now so if you'll just follow me to ICU she should be there any minute now."

You all stand at once and closely follow behind, Bridget.

"Now, all three of you can visit for a short period of time, but Tom will be the only one allowed to stay. And I'm afraid your baby can't go in the room."

Ben and Sophie nod. "That's alright, Sophie and I will take a short turn visiting with her and then we'll go home. We all need some rest." Ben says looking to you and Sophie when he mentions resting. You reach her room and she's just been wheeled in. You couldn't actually see her behind all of the people beside her and the machines.

Bridget turns to you. "You'll have to wait out here for a few minutes while I get her settled. You can begin gowning up if you'd like. You need to scrub your hands and wear gloves, a mask, and gown. It's to prevent infection, after something like this we have to take extra precautions." She says and then turns to quickly ready herself to enter Jane's room to help settle her in.

Ben takes Christopher's carrier from Sophie and goes to sit in the chair beside her bedroom door. "You go see her first, dear." He says to Sophie and she gives him a kiss on the cheek before resuming her place by your side as you go to gown up to see Jane.

Right after you were all gowned, gloved, and masked, Bridget pokes her head out of Jane's room. "You can come see her now." She says beneath her mask.

You take a deep breath before rushing to the door with Sophie right by your side.

You pause in the doorway at the site of her for a moment before quickly making your way to her side. She was covered in tubes and wires. IV's and monitors. There were tubes coming from her neck, a central line that they had explained she'd need after surgery. There were multiple IV's covering her hands, they were unable to use her mediport due to it's placement on her chest. Monitors you haven't even seen before scattered her body and the poles beside her. So many IV pumps, including a PCA pump delivering her a constant stream of pain medication, large bags of fluids so she wouldn't dehydrate, and her g-tube was also hooked up so she could get proper nutrition until she could eat again. 4 chest tubes with drains for fluid build up from surgery were inserted in between ribs on both sides. The worst though was the large tube that was down her throat, taped to her beautiful face. Her chest rising and falling at the force of that machine.

Her bottom half was covered by a blanket, her top was exposed while Bridget still adjusted a few tubes and wires. A thick white bandage covering both her breasts, and the incision that was made.

You gently grab her hand in yours, noting how chilled it was. You look at her pale face, and furrow your brow. "Excuse me, Bridget? I think she may be cold. Her hand is freezing and she looks rather pale."

Bridget nods and adjusts things accordingly before covering her, carefully and gently, with a blanket. You keep your hold on her hand beneath the blanket.

You just stare at her. Watching her intently for any signs of distress or discomfort. You don't even notice when Sophie switches places with Ben.

After a few moments Ben comes over beside you. "Hey, we're going to go home now. I know it's a long shot, but please do try to get some rest, ok?"

You turn to him and smile beneath your mask. "Thank you, Ben."

He just nods and then makes his way out of the room.

Bridget had brought you a blanket and pillow and you decided to pull the reclining chair beside Jane and try to rest. Once comfortable you reach over to grab her little hand in yours again, it not as cold as before.

Bridget comes in often to check and is never farther then right outside the door. You were grateful she was being so well taken care of.

At some point you do manage to drift off. The stress and strain of the day finally catching up and your adrenaline running out.

You fall asleep beside Jane, her hand in yours, dreaming of the new life that would soon begin.


	32. Chapter 32

**TOM**

It's been close to 24 hours since Jane was done with surgery.

Throughout the night her oxygen levels remained stable, however there was still a bit of a problem keeping her blood pressure up. My sleep was often interrupted by nurses, beeping machines, or my own nerves that would wake me to check that she was okay. However, I did manage a few hours of sleep.

Ben and Sophie decided to take a day and leave Jane to recover a bit once she was up so as not to overwhelm her. They had just started to ween her off of the sedation. This was necessary before she was to have the breathing tube removed to be sure that she was alert and nothing went wrong with the anesthesia that would cause her to be intubated again.

Her transplant surgeon and Dr. S were in the room, watching the machines and watching Jane to see what would happen. I sat beside her on the bed, holding her hand in mine.

"Tom? Maybe try talking to her a bit, stimulating her might help her to wake up." Dr. S suggests from his place beside the surgeon.

You nod before turning to Jane, giving her little hand a squeeze. "Jane dear? Can you hear me? You did it, love. You're out of surgery, you've got a shiny new pair of lungs. Can you open your eyes for me?"

**JANE  
**You feel like you're floating. You feel nothing.

Until, suddenly, you do.

You feel pain. You feel something down your throat. Almost as if you were choking. But you weren't choking were you? The pain was growing, it was all you could think about.

Until you felt a squeeze on your hand, and the voice you longed for...Tom. He said you were out of surgery. That would explain the pain, but what surgery this time? He asks you to open your eyes so you try.

Your lids are heavy so you give his hand a weak squeeze while you struggle to open your eyes.

"She squeezed my hand! Jane my love, can you try and open your eyes for me? I miss them so."

You hear the desperation and excitement in his voice. Finally, you see the familiar bright hospital light above you, until Tom's face blocks it. Tears in his eyes and a smile on his face.

"Hello there."

You try to talk but whatever is down your throat makes it impossible, you also aren't able to turn your head. What was going on? You look up to Tom with confusion and he senses it immediately.

"Jane don't try to talk. You have a breathing tube down your throat. You had your double lung transplant yesterday, remember? You're doing well. You've been sedated for a day to let your body rest."

Tears instantly build and spill down your cheeks. It happened, you got new lungs. You were going to get a chance at _a life _with Tom.

Tom wipes the tears from your face and kisses your forehead. Suddenly Dr. S, and a man you don't recognize, appear beside Tom.

"Hello Jane, I'm your transplant surgeon, Dr. James. Your surgery went well, besides a few blips here an there, but those are to be expected. Now, I'd like to take that breathing tube out and get those lungs working on their own. How does that sound?"

You aren't sure if you can nod, so you manage a thumbs up. Tom gives a chuckle, along with Dr. S. "Very good, I'll be back shortly with the supplies." And with that Dr. James leaves the room.

You want to tell someone about your pain, but it will have to wait until the tube is gone and you can speak again. For now you just wait for the surgeon to return and Tom strokes your hair, never taking his eyes off you. Dr. S hovers around the many machines and watches things closely, the nurse by the computer seems to be charting.

Dr. James returns quickly and he, Dr. S, and the nurse set things up for you to have your breathing tube removed. You were nervous, but more than that, excited to feel what it was like to truly _breathe._

"Alright we're ready, Tom do you mind stepping aside a little?" Dr. S asks and Tom quickly moves from his seat on the bed to just standing beside you. His hand never letting go of yours.

"Alright now Jane, this shouldn't hurt, but it will not be the most pleasant experience." Dr. James says. You give Tom's hand a squeeze and then shut your eyes. You feel the tape holding the tube in place removed from your face, and hear a click from one of the tubes. You notice you aren't receiving the air anymore. And then in one swift movement you felt the tube being removed, up and out. It was quick and painless, but just like he said, not pleasant.

You cough a bit and feel the nurse placing a cannula under your nose, your throat felt sore but you expected that. You give Tom's hand another squeeze, and take a deep breath.

It was smooth. No crackles or wheezes, no need to cough, no feeling of sand paper scraping along the inside of your lungs, and it was a _full and deep_ breath. Air getting into parts of your lungs that it wasn't able to before.

You begin to cry and Tom bends down to hug you, tears streaming down his face.

**TOM**

Seeing her be able to take a deep breath, and the smile that crossed her face afterwards, was indescribable. It brought tears to your eyes instantly.

Everyone gave you a moment to just hold one another and cry. Jane was trembling. "You did it." I just kept repeating into her hair.

After a minute, Dr. S comes and taps you on the shoulder and you stand up and step aside,wiping the tears from your face. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need to ask a few questions." He says with a genuine smile.

He turns to Jane. "How does that feel? Are you able to take a deep and full breath?" He asks with a grin, as if he already knew the answer by looking at her face.

"Yes, it's incredible" She says with a grin and then a sudden wince crosses her face.

"That brings me to my next question, are you in pain?"

"Yeah I am quite a bit actually." She says with another small wince. You can tell she was in alot of pain.

"Alright, we'll up your pain medication dose and leave you to rest another day before we have you move around. It's not in your chest is it?"

"No no, it feels more like the incision and just overall pain from surgery."

"Alright, we'll write for a higher dose and then let you rest. We'll leave you be now, but we'll come and check in later or you can have us paged. Ok?"

Jane was already looking exhausted, but she managed a nod and a weak "Thank you" before they both smiled and left.

I quickly texted Ben and Chris an update before I returned to my place beside her on the bed while the nurse gave her more pain medication, I watched her relax instantly. Her muscles no longer tense. The look of pain etched on her features calmed. Her lids started drooping but she tried to fight it.

"I love you, Tom. I can't wait to start life with you." She mumbled, already mostly asleep.

I leaned in to give her a kiss before whispering. "I love you too, Jane. Happy day one."

_Authors Note: Another thank you to all those who follow, favorite, and review! I look forward to it after every update!_


	33. Chapter 33

**TOM**

It was day two.

Jane had been able to rest somewhat comfortably for the last 24 hours. Still on the nasal cannula, but only two liters and her oxygen levels were at 99%. You can't even remember the last time you saw that number.

You were keeping Ben, Sophie, and Chris all updated. Encouraging Ben and Sophie to put off their visit for a few more days, Jane still struggled with moments of intense pain which caused an up in pain medication, which would then cause confusion and eventually she would just pass out all together.

Currently she was about to be moved to a chair so that she could sit up and start moving. She was terrified, knowing it was going to be painful.

Two nurses came in to help with the process. "Hi Jane, I'm Ginger and this is Helen, we're here to help get you up and in a chair. Are you ready?"

Jane pauses a moment before giving a hoarse "Yes". Glancing at you nervously. I help fold the blankets down and the nurse, Ginger I think, hands me a gown to drape over her front.

"Jane dear, lift your arms for me please, let's get your arms through here." I say as I hold the gown over her. She slowly lifts her arms, not much, but enough for me to slide the sleeves over her arms.

Helen is gather tubes and wires, while Ginger holds her arms out for Jane. "Ok Jane, I want you to grab my arms ok? Tom, would you mind going behind her to help her to sit up?" You nod and as Jane reaches out and grips the nurses arms, you slide your arms gently behind her back. She winces in response. "I'm sorry, have I hurt you?" She shakes her head slightly. "I'm a little tender, but it's mostly your cold hands."

You nod and watch carefully as Ginger begins to gently start pulling Jane upwards, you help her to sit up as tenderly as you can, a look of pain a constant on Jane's face. "We're almost done." Ginger encourages as Jane's eyes squeeze shut.

Soon she's sitting, gasping slightly, at the effort or the pain, you weren't sure. You keep your hands at her back, giving her support, rubbing comforting circles. "Ok, now I'm going to swing your legs down, and Tom is going to help you to turn so you're feet are dangling off the bed. Ok, Jane?"

She silently nods before turning to look at you, it broke your heart to see her in this amount of pain, but you give her a smile of reassurance and then begin to gently turn her as Ginger moves her legs to hang off the bed. This seemed to be less painful than sitting up, thankfully.

"Alright, now we're going to take these three steps to the chair, alright? Tom and I will be on either side of you so you don't fall and Helen has all your tubes and wires so we don't have to worry about it. On the count of three we're gonna help you up, alright?"

Ginger moves to Jane's other side and takes her hand, Jane gives us a nod and the nurse counts down. "1, 2, 3!"

And on weak and wobbly legs, Jane manages to push herself off the bed, hisses of pain and tears falling from her eyes, she takes the first step, squeezing my hand tightly. Ginger and Helen begin speaking encouragements to her, but you don't listen. You're too focused on Jane. Watching her features carefully for any sign that this was too much.

She makes it to the chair and you and Ginger help her to sit, Helen hovers close by with arms full of IV's and monitors. Jane is breathing deep and heavily from the pain, eyes still squeezed shut and tears spilling from them. You kneel beside her and take her hand in yours.

"Jane? You did it darling. You did it and I'm so proud of you. I know it hurts now, but soon this will be nothing but a memory. A memory that will be worth it when you're running marathons and skipping and jumping around doing all the things you've always wished for. Right?"

She nods lightly, opening her eyes to look at you and give you a weak smile. It takes all you had not to burst into tears. You'd do anything to take away her pain. But instead you just smile back, wiping away her tears and leaning forward for a kiss.

**JANE  
**It was getting late, you were still in an intense amount of pain after sitting in a chair this afternoon.

It wasn't just the incision, it was the four chest tubes. The stitches were beginning to pull and the tubes were rubbing inbetween your ribs. It was incredibly painful, and despite the morphine, you were still hurting quite a bit.

You tried just laying still for a long time but that didn't really help. Tom and the nurses were trying to get you to eat a little something, but the pain you were in was making you nauseous. The nurse told Dr. S and he ordered some anti nausea medicine, which helped, but did not get rid of it completely.

You look to Tom, who looked positively exhausted. All this worrying and fussing over you was clearly wearing him out. You reach for his hand and he turns to you, eyes somewhat urgent. "Is everything ok?"

You smile at him, always the worry wort. "Yes Tom, I was just noticing how tired you look. I think you should go home to sleep for the night."

He immediately starts shaking his head. "No no no no no. I will get even less sleep there. I appreciate your worry for me darling, but I'm ok. Really I am."

You decide it's not worth the argument, you were both too tired for that. "Fine, then please sleep on the pull out couch on the other side of the room then? You don't need to sleep in this chair. You're too tall for it and I know you can't be comfortable. I'll be fine if you're just a few extra steps away. I know you'll sleep better over there."

He gives a small sigh before smiling, running his hand through your hair. "Despite having a major surgery and being in all this pain, you worry about me? Oh how I love you my little penguin."

"I have to make sure my giraffe is well taken care of, no matter my situation." You say with a yawn.

"Do you think you'll be able to sleep? Or do you want me to ask the doctors if there's anything else we can do about pain?" He asks with some worry in his tone.

"No, I really don't think there is anything. It's bearable for the most part, I'll manage through the night and hopefully tomorrow they'll be able to remove one of the tubes like they said." You say, feeling a tad bit lightheaded, but just chalking it up to being overtired or the morphine making you woozy.

Tom kisses your forehead and begins to get ready for bed. Laying pillows and blankets on the pull out couch and changing into sweatpants for sleeping. Your nurse comes in during all this to take your vitals before leaving you alone for the night.

"I'll bet you're off that oxygen tomorrow with numbers like this!" She says looking at your o2 levels. You just smile and nod. She takes your temperature and blood pressure, only she takes your blood pressure twice.

"Hmmm.." She says after the second time. "What is it? Tom asks as he steps out of the bathroom, making his way beside you.

"Her blood pressure is low, I know that's how she's been running, but it's really low. Jane, are you feeling ok? Not dizzy or lightheaded?" She turns to you and asks.

"A little lightheaded, but I assumed that was from the morphine or being so tired." You say quietly, feeling more tired by the second.

"I'm going to go and get the doctor who's on overnight, he's right at the nurses station. I'll be right back." She says before quickly making her way out of the room.

Tom grabs your hand and you turn to him, his eyes wide with worry. You feel like your lids could slam shut at any second. "Jane? Try and stay awake until the doctor comes in, ok?" Tom says as he gives your hand a little squeeze. You nod weakly and force your eyes to stay open.

Soon the doctor and nurse return, the man was younger, average height with short reddish hair. The nurse takes your blood pressure again and he comes and stands in front of you. "Hi Jane, I'm Dr. Simon. Your blood pressure is pretty low, your nurse, Alice, says your lightheaded?"

You nod weakly, still fighting with your lids. "And tired too, I see. Ok, well I really don't like the numbers we're seeing so I'm going to give you something to try and bring it up a bit, ok?" You think you nod but you're not sure you manage, you finally lose the battle, succumbing to sleep.

**TOM**

"Jane? Jane, can you hear me? She's asleep." You say to Dr. Simon, trying your best not to sound too frantic.

"I see that, I'm administering a medicine right now." He says as he pushes a syringe of medicine into her IV.

Immediately the nurse takes her blood pressure again and everyone watches anxiously to see higher numbers. They go up, but not much. Dr. Simon grabs another syringe and gives her half of it before Alice checks her blood pressure again. The numbers are a decent bit higher this time.

You look down to Jane, she appeared fine.

"Well, I'm going to want her monitored extremely close tonight. This happens with transplant patients sometimes, their body is just so weak and tired from not just fighting their old failing organs, but now fighting to recover from a major surgery. Some take longer to recover than others. We will just have to watch her closely to see if her body corrects it on it's own, or if something needs to be done. Only time will tell. For now we just watch and wait. I want to be paged if it get's that low again, I'll come by about half way through the night to check in."

You just nod, keeping your eyes on Jane. Him and Alice leave.

You grab your pillows and blankets and return to your usual chair beside her, taking her hand in yours and closing your eyes to get whatever sleep you could get.


	34. Chapter 34

_I am terribly sorry it's been so long since I've updated! I promise I haven't deserted the story, I'm truly having a great time writing this! Holidays have just had me busy! I'm hoping to try and have more frequent updates after the new year, but until then here is an update for you! Thanks to all who continue to read, review, favorite and follow!_

**TOM**

It had been two days and Jane was still struggling. Her blood pressure had gone from too low, to too high.

They had said that they believe she had Hypertension due to the stress her body went through with the transplant and that caused a form of shock. Now however, they weren't sure why it was high.

Jane was rather out of it, still in quite a large amount of pain, she was very nauseous and had begun to throw up violently.

You felt horrible that there was nothing you could do for her, she just seemed so miserable. Ben and Sophie had yet to come and visit, wanting to give her more time to rest and heal before visitors. The fact that Jane hadn't requested to see them showed how truly awful she felt.

You were beside her reading and having a snack when she reached out and grabbed your hand. You turned to see her little face, twisted in pain.

"What is it, love?" You ask her quietly, concern for her filling ever fiber of your being.

"My chest hurts, Tom." She rasps. Her voice scratchy from lack of use.

You run your hand through her tangled hair. "I know, darling. They said it was going to hurt for awhile yet. Once they can take the staples out it should be less painful. You're already maxed out on pain medication though... I'm not sure there's anything left they can do for it." You say, wishing more than anything you could trade places with her. Take her pain away.

She shook her head weakly, pausing to catch her breath before talking again. You thought that seemed strange, she'd been taken off oxygen. You look to the monitor and it says her oxygen levels were down, quite a bit. "Jane?"

"It's not the same pain, Tom. It's inside. Something's wrong." She says quietly.

You stand and hurry your way out the door and to the nurses station where you find Dr. S. You rush over to him and he turns to greet you with a smile. "Tom I was just about to make my way in to see you both. How's she holding up, today?"

"She's having chest pains and she say's it's different and inside, she's having trouble catching her breath and her o2 has dropped."

Without another word he rushes past you and you follow behind him quickly along with Jane's nurse, Diane.

Jane still laying in bed with that same look of pain, taking short and gasping breaths. You make your way to her side and take her hand in yours.

"Jane? What's going on?" Dr. S asks while looking her over, Diane beside him hooking Jane back up to the nasal cannula.

"My chest hurts. I don't know how to describe it, but it's different. Pressure maybe?" She manages, trying to take deep breaths now that she's attached to oxygen.

Dr. S looks at the monitors, then get's his stethoscope to listen to Jane. "Take her blood pressure again please, Diane."

The nurse nods and does as she's told, while Dr. S listens to Jane.

He looks back up at the monitor, the numbers the highest yet. You look down to Jane and she's still struggling, getting weary.

"What is it?" you ask somewhat desperately.

"Looks like she has fluid build up and it's putting pressure on her lungs and heart. This happens sometimes with transplant, usually not this late though. We have to take her into surgery to drain it and then possibly place an extra drain or two. Diane, call down to the OR and then the transplant team. We've gotta get her in there right away." He says while looking at Jane's pumps and adjusting her oxygen.

"Is she going to be ok?" The terror in your voice evident.

"Yes, Tom. It's just a bump, this won't do anything to her recovery long term so long as we get it taken care of right now." He says sincerely.

You nod, looking down at Jane. She was starting to lose consciousness. Diane reappears and says the transplant team is getting ready in the OR now. Dr. S says he wants Jane prepped and sent down as soon as possible and then he rushed down to ready himself.

Diane began doing what was necessary to prep Jane for surgery. You sit beside her on the bed, her little hand in yours. "I'll be right here when you wake up my penguin."

She gives a little smile, her eyes only half open. "Thank you..I love you my hot giraffe."

You give a little chuckle and give her a kiss. "I love you, too."

A team from the OR arrive quickly and wheel Jane down to the operating floor. You follow beside, holding her hand the whole way down.

She was mostly unconscious by the time she was wheeled into the OR.

Once again you were left in a waiting room while your wife fought for her life.

You decided it was time to call to inform everyone of what was happening. You call Ben and Sophie first, who of course offered to come down. You declined the offer, you could handle it and waiting rooms are no place a new born baby needs to be. You called Chris after that and he told you how sorry he was, that she was a fighter, that this would be her last and only road bump, and to keep him updated when you could.

You fall into, the all too familiar, uncomfortable waiting room chairs and begin the long wait.

"Tom?" Dr. S calls, it wasn't until then that you realized you'd fallen asleep. The stress and sleepless nights finally catching up to you.

You immediately stand, straightening yourself out. "How is she?" Your voice still heavy with sleep.

He gives a smile before answering. "Well, we didn't have to place any additional drains, so she will be very pleased about that. We removed a liter of fluid off her lungs and around 900cc's of fluid off her heart. It's a good thing we found this when we did. She should be more comfortable and stable now. It will be another day before she's able to start moving again though. She's resting, I'll take you back to her."

You release a breath you hadn't noticed you were holding. "Thank you so much." You say sincerely and follow behind him towards recovery, relieved it all went well and anxious to see her.

Once you reach her room, Dr. S gives you a pat on the back and promises to come by once she is back up in her regular room.

Jane was laying under the blankets, still on oxygen and unconscious. You resume your place beside her, taking her hand in yours.

**JANE  
**It had been two days since your little scare with fluid build up. You were still in alot of pain, but it wasn't unbearable.

Tom had yet to leave your side even once you were stable. He was so clearly exhausted, and you wanted to encourage him to go home and rest, but then thought of him being away from you right now would stop you from mentioning it. Besides, you knew he would refuse and you were still too exhausted to argue.

Today you were cleared to move out of bed again. Starting slow and moving from the bed to the chair. Tom and two nurses had to help you get there, the pain intensifying each second you were standing. It eased up only slightly once you were sat down. You managed to sit up for twenty minutes before you couldn't stand it anymore and asked to go back to bed.

After that it was a struggle getting your pain back under control, causing you to take an extra dose of pain medicine, which caused you to throw up rather violently, which caused more pain. It was a vicious cycle.

Tom say beside you while holding back your hair and rubbing soothing circles on your back.

Once you were done being sick, your nurse brought you water and mouth wash and had you spit it into the trash before she took it away. Changing the bag and returning it to your bedside in case you needed it again. Once she left to take care of another patient, you broke.

Tom went to get off the bed and help you lay back when you reached out to grab his arm, hand trembling. He looked back to your tear filled eyes and understood immediately.

He gently pulled you to his chest and slowly leaned back in bed, you curled comfortably against him, finally letting the tears fall.

No one spoke a word, he simply comforted you as you softly cried into his chest.

After awhile, you cried yourself out, exhausted but content to just remain curled up against him. Something you haven't been able to do since your transplant.

Tom held you close, running his hand through your messy hair. "You ok, love?"

You nod into his chest, stifling a yawn.

"I know things are hard now, but I hope you know how proud I am and how truly strong you are. I could never go what you've gone through." He says, you can tell he means it and isn't just trying to cheer you up.

"Thank you, Tom. If I didn't have you beside me I wouldn't be able to do it." Your voice heavy.

"I have an idea. Why don't we list the things we're most looking forward to after you get to go home? All the things you're looking forward to doing with those new lungs." He says with a smile.

You're falling asleep, but it sounds like a good idea to keep your mind off the pain. "Going home and getting rid of all the things I won't need anymore. Oxygen tubes and tanks and Loki the concentrator. My breathing machines and nebulizers." You smiled as you said it, the thought bringing you joy, a light at the end of this seemingly never ending tunnel.

Tom kisses the top of your head before speaking. "Now _that _is what I'm talking about! That's something to look forward to!"

You give a weak chuckle at his enthusiasm, your lids getting heavier and heavier. "Ok mister," you pause to yawn, "now it's your turn. What are you looking forward to?"

"Hmmm...well, I suppose adventures with you of course. Little or big things, whether it's traveling abroad or just going for a hike and a picnic. Exploring with you when you're able to truly enjoy it is what I'm looking forward to."

The idea brings a smile to your face. You've always wanted to travel. But even just a simple nature hike sounded lovely. The fresh air, the trees, you missed it so.

"Tom?" You ask, mostly asleep.

"Yes, darling?" His voice quiet, he knows you're fighting to stay awake.

"Can we get a puppy?" You sound like a child, all tired and quiet like.

"A puppy?" He questions at the sudden random question.

"Yes. I've never had anything other than a goldfish or a hamster. I've always been to sick to help care for it or had no way to care for it when I had to go into the hospital. I've always wanted one." Your eyes a closed now, your voice slightly slurred.

"I've always loved dogs, I think a puppy would be a lovely addition to our little family." He quietly states before kissing you on the lips. "Sweet dreams my love." He whispers, laying his head on yours.

With a weak little smile, you mumble, "Love you," and drift off to sleep. The first sleep since transplant that you've felt content. Tom beside you, your head laying on his chest listening to his steady heart beat, his strong arms wrapped around you gently making you feel warm and secure. You fell asleep dreaming of the times that you and him would share after recovery.

Time spent away from the hospital.

Time spent with Tom.

Time spent _living._


	35. Chapter 35

**TOM**

It was now week two since Jane's double lung transplant.

Things were improving slowly.

Her blood pressure was stable and she was now off all oxygen, so she was moved from ICU to a regular room. This put Jane at ease and made her more comfortable to see the familiar faces on her usual floor. She was also able to have two chest tubes removed, one on each side, which decreased her pain level.

The biggest struggle right now was physical therapy. It was crucial that Jane keep her lungs moving and gain strength, but she was just so weak it wore her out doing the smallest of things. You would take her for short walks up and down the hall about twice a day, and then the physical therapist would come by each afternoon and work with her for about 30 minutes everyday.

Afterwards left her so exhausted and in such pain, it was difficult to watch. She was able to keep most foods down now, the decrease in pain medicine helped control her nausea. However, she did still have her bad days. Jane has lost around 10 pounds since transplant, requiring her to eat or be attatched to her feeds as often as possible.

She was just so worn, but it didn't stop her smile. She often would talk about how amazing it felt each time she took a breath, still amazed that she was no longer attatched to oxygen.

Jane was currently resting after today's physical therapy, after an hour of trying to get her pain under control, and you were sitting beside her waiting for her surprise visitors.

Ben and Sophie were bringing little Christopher and Jane's favorite pizza as a surprise. You figured she could use a good lift in spirits. Despite her smile, you knew she was a bit down.

You look over to her, seeing her rosy cheeks instead of that pale gray, watching her chest rise and fall with deep and full breaths instead of short ragged gasps, no tube across her beautiful face. You couldn't be more grateful to her donor.

A light knock on the door interrupts your thoughts and you look to find your friends in the doorway. You quickly look to Jane to find her still sound asleep, thinking for a moment on whether to wake her or not. You glance back at Ben and Sophie and see the boxes of food in Ben's hands. Deciding she would be more apt to eat her food nice and hot, and since she hasn't eaten all day that's top priority, you decide it's best to wake her.

You quietly rush over to the doorway and give quick hugs. "You guys wait here a moment, I'm going to wake her up and then I'll call you over. Sound good?" They nod eagerly, excited to see they're friend for the first time since right after her life saving surgery.

You make your way back over to Jane's bedside, sitting on the edge of bed and taking her hand in yours. "Jane dear, it's time to wake up. You haven't eaten yet today and I think it's about time you try to eat a little something." You say gently.

She stirs slightly, giving a light moan. "There's nothing I'm in the mood for right now, Tom. Just a little more rest please?" She mumbles, voice still heavy with sleep.

"I ordered you something you'll be in the mood for. And the delivery people are here so please rise and shine my love." You say with a smile. She opens one eye and smirks at you smiling down at her. "Fine." She sighs and you help her to sit up. You look towards the doorway as you're setting her up for dinner and give them a nod to enter the room.

Jane, still attempting to get comfortable, doesn't notice her friends until they are at the foot of her bed and say "Surprise!" in unision.

She jumps a bit, before looking up with the biggest smile you've seen since her transplant. It brings tears to your eyes.

**JANE**

You quickly sit yourself up, ignoring the pain it brings, in order to hug your friends who you've missed dearly.

Sophie rushes to you first and gently wraps her arms around you, kissing you on each cheek. "You look amazing, Jane! I can't remember I've seen you with this much color or without oxygen on that pretty little face of yours! How do you feel?"

"I have good days and bad days, but compared to before I feel wonderful." You say with a grin. "I'm so happy to hear that." She gives you another quick hug before stepping aside for Ben.

He hugs you even softer then Sophie. "You look miraculous, darling." He flashes his adorable smile at you before kissing the top of your head.

"Thank you. I can't believe you guys came! I'm so happy." You say to them both.

Tom starts making plates of pizza. "Let's eat while it's still hot!" He says as he hands you a plate of pizza.

You manage to eat a whole slice before you start to feel a bit nauseous. Tom looks at you, a little sad that that's all you could manage.

"Ok, someone needs to hand me that baby before I lose it!" Everyone giggles at you.

Sophie takes Christopher off her lap and brings him over, setting him in your arms gently.

You weren't sure if it's just you being so weak, or if he truly has grown that much since you held him right before transplant. You were struggling to support him and it was upsetting you to be this weak and worn down. Tom saw you struggling and came to help you re-adjust so Christopher was mostly supported in your lap, leaving you to just to support his head.

You held back the tears and Tom saw this, giving you a quick kiss and a whisper of reassurance before returning to his spot in the chair beside you.

Everyone catches up, you get all the details of the little things Christopher has done and how he's developed. You and Tom explain some transplant details and things you have to accomplish before you can talk about returning home.

After awhile you start to feel tired and your pain level begins to rise. You tune out of the conversation a bit and just focus on playing with the baby in your lap. Making funny faces at him as he giggles.

Unfortunately that doesn't last long. "Ben, would you mind taking Christopher now? I need to lie down a bit." You say, you can hear the exhaustion in your own voice. Ben quickly stands to come and take his son from your arms, and Tom looks to you in concern. "Do you need something? Are you in pain?"

You nod and he calls the nurse for more pain medicine and he helps you to lay down, it's extra painful from the new exercise you had to do during todays therapy. But Tom was incredibly gentle and patient.

Soon after laying down you realize you aren't going to be able to fight off your drooping eyelids, especially with another dose of pain medicine on board.

"Hey guys, I hate to be a party pooper, but I'm definitely going to fall asleep. You don't have to leave, but I just want to thank you for coming and making my day. I love you guys so much, and don't let that baby grow anymore until I get home!" You say with a drowsy grin.

You were already mostly asleep, but Ben and Sophie each gave you a little kiss goodbye before leaving.

You went to bed not thinking about the pain, or what may happen tomorrow, but of a great day spent with your family.


End file.
